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MrSarcasmic's favorite FMLs
Today, my girlfriend freaked out, thinking she might be pregnant due to her period being late. I found myself reminding her that one actually has to have had sex recently to become pregnant. We've been living together, sexless, for over a year. FML
by Anonymous / 08/29/2013 at 2:12pm / United States (Michigan) / Love
Today, my little sister opened a lemonade stand in front of our house. Surprisingly, she actually had a lot of customers, all kids. Two hours or so later, some parents came back complaining and threatening to sue my family. Turns out that what we thought was lemonade was actually beer. FML
by IronSkye / 08/29/2013 at 6:55am / Romania (Bucuresti) / Kids
by PrettyScared / 07/29/2013 at 11:07am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was shopping with my girlfriend, when a girl came out of nowhere, screaming at me for cheating on her, and saying she was dumping me. I've never seen her before, and she was almost grinning during her little act, but my girlfriend believed it, and I'm now single. FML
by fuckingtrollingskankwhoreshitwankcuntfuck / 07/13/2013 at 1:33pm / United States (Connecticut) / Love
by SimG / 07/07/2013 at 8:35am / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by Anonymous / 06/23/2013 at 2:55am / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 06/22/2013 at 2:39am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend and I watched the new movie "The Purge." After the movie, I jokingly asked him that if the U.S. had such a purge in real life, would he participate, and who would he kill first. Without missing a beat, he said, "you." FML
by purged / 06/08/2013 at 7:43pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
Today, at work, a customer came in and ordered a "Butterbeer Frappuccino." When I said we serve no such thing, she yelled at me for "lying" to her, saying she knew about our "secret menu." She ended up complaining to my manager and demanded that he fire me. FML
by I hate my job / 06/08/2013 at 6:20pm / United States / Work
Today, my boyfriend bought me a silver necklace. I have a silver allergy, but I thanked him anyway and encouraged him to return it. I found out later that he knew about my allergy all along and bought it on purpose so he could return it, get a refund, and still look good. FML
by Anonymous / 05/09/2013 at 3:12pm / Norway (Oslo) / Love
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- Today, I was on my way home from a long night shift, exhausted beyond belief. While walking down my… Today, I was woken up around 2 in the morning to my father entering my room to urinate in the cat… Today, I had sex with a guy I had wanted for awhile. Or I think it counts as sex. Really, I thought…