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MrPortalFan

Offline (the 11/04/2014 at 1:10am) | Search for a member

MrPortalFan

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 471
  • Number of comments : 96
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 5 posted

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MrPortalFan's page activity

Visits<b>stargazer091</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 8:13am<b>wondercat40</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 10:51pm<b>markcallanan_</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 1:46pm<b>Javier6597</b> - the 02/18/2014 at 2:43am<b>alexmac222</b> - the 02/02/2014 at 2:43am<b>Despereaux</b> - the 02/01/2014 at 12:32am<b>aga929</b> - the 02/01/2014 at 12:11am<b>avoree</b> - the 02/01/2014 at 12:00am<b>miiapaige</b> - the 01/12/2014 at 9:54am<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 08/17/2013 at 11:06am<b>Heaven121313</b> - the 08/09/2013 at 3:00am<b>KazuTrumpet1512</b> - the 08/09/2013 at 2:32am<b>avel427</b> - the 08/08/2013 at 6:41pm<b>PrinceofTennis</b> - the 08/08/2013 at 4:59pm<b>fml1365</b> - the 08/08/2013 at 11:57am<b>kaomi123</b> - the 08/08/2013 at 10:48am<b>hansam</b> - the 08/08/2013 at 10:43am<b>rlope291</b> - the 08/08/2013 at 6:15am

MrPortalFan's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of MrPortalFan's badges

MrPortalFan's favorite FMLs

Today, my 12-year-old sister watched Frozen. She's spent the last two hours playing the song Let It Go on high volume over and over, and in different languages. I now have a skull-splitting headache, and my dad just sarcastically told me to "let it go". FML

#21113787
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46028) - you deserved it (5953)

On 04/15/2014 at 3:24pm - kids - by fuckyouharddad - United States (California)

Today, I was in the process of finally losing my virginity. Part-way through, my neighbour started shouting from his backyard, "Go, Nicolas! You can do it!" He was talking to his son, but the two of us have the same name. I couldn't finish. FML

#21046533
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55858) - you deserved it (6189) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/31/2014 at 4:05pm - intimacy - by prochainefois (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was on drive-thru where I work. Our policy is that we can give free treats to dogs that come through. A woman came in and I noticed her dog. Without a thought, I grabbed a treat and asked if her dog wanted one. I looked again. The 'dog' was her daughter. FML

#20792109
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48492) - you deserved it (23885)

On 07/19/2013 at 9:54am - work - by Treats For Days - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while wiping my ass, the broken finger that has been set straight dipped into the toilet and touched a turd. This keeps happening since I broke it, and I'm sure it will again. FML

#20790784
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39278) - you deserved it (10718)

On 07/18/2013 at 4:53pm - health - by broken finger (man) - United States

Today, I called a tree removal company to have my diseased elm removed. When I got home from work, I was surprised to find it still there. Not as surprised as my neighbor was to discover that his tree was missing, nor as surprised as his children when they saw there was no more tree-house. FML

#20790198
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53676) - you deserved it (4014)

On 07/18/2013 at 10:38am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, while on the airplane, the cute girl next to me and I instantly hit it off. When I excused myself to the bathroom, I must have given her the wrong impression. She wanted to join the mile high club; I just wanted to take a crap. FML

#20781742
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58544) - you deserved it (12250)

On 07/14/2013 at 6:41am - intimacy - by mile high clubber - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my husband wanted to try anal for the first time. His attempt to sound romantic was him saying, "Open your buns, the meat is ready." FML

#20767385
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55066) - you deserved it (7754)

On 07/06/2013 at 5:21pm - intimacy - by hamburger - United States (Michigan)

Today, I tried role playing with my boyfriend. As I came out in sexy lingerie, I announced, "I'm Natalia, a Russian spy fluent in 2 languages: Russian and your cock." He laughed so hard he practically pissed himself. The night ended in me doing his laundry. Alone. FML

#20119371
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31901) - you deserved it (18451)

On 10/16/2012 at 8:36am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, after great sex with my boyfriend, I lay in my bed while he went to get a drink from downstairs. Hearing someone come up, I shouted out as a joke, "Damn babe, I'm covered in cum, was there a hole you didn't fill?" It wasn't my boyfriend, it was my dad. FML

#20109762
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16161) - you deserved it (61036)

On 10/09/2012 at 10:32pm - intimacy - by cumhole (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he laid on the bed, silent and naked in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I raped my boyfriend. FML

#18483356
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48688) - you deserved it (7739)

On 12/11/2011 at 6:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML

#17727595
395 comments

I agree, your life sucks (85483) - you deserved it (13102)

On 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by IbetIgotAIDS (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She was so happy that she began flapping her hands around and screaming. She was flapping her hands so hard she smacked herself in the face and started crying. FML

#17131113
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35465) - you deserved it (5492)

On 07/16/2011 at 1:38am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, it was really hot in my house so I pulled my shorts down so I was just in my boxers. My family and I were watching tv and I got a spontaneous erection. When I discreetly tried to pull my shorts back up, my penis flipped out of my boxers. FML

#12792346
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34599) - you deserved it (22879)

On 08/28/2010 at 7:52pm - intimacy - by Sicko - Sent from mobile version

Today, I meant to express to my friends that I was enamored with a young saleswoman I had encountered at a store. I wanted to tell them that she was quite petite and that I am, in general, attracted to petite women. Instead I said "You know? I like little girls." FML

#2556869
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18604) - you deserved it (56444)

On 06/03/2009 at 1:23am - love - by boinger (man) - United States (California)

Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML

#503348
879 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60465) - you deserved it (634188)

On 03/21/2009 at 12:46am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)



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