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MrPortalFan

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MrPortalFan

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 688
  • Number of comments : 97
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 5 posted

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MrPortalFan's page activity

Visits<b>stargazer091</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 8:13am<b>wondercat40</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 10:51pm<b>markcallanan_</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 1:46pm<b>Javier6597</b> - the 02/18/2014 at 2:43am<b>alexmac222</b> - the 02/02/2014 at 2:43am<b>Despereaux</b> - the 02/01/2014 at 12:32am<b>aga929</b> - the 02/01/2014 at 12:11am<b>avoree</b> - the 02/01/2014 at 12:00am<b>miiapaige</b> - the 01/12/2014 at 9:54am<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 08/17/2013 at 11:06am<b>Heaven121313</b> - the 08/09/2013 at 3:00am<b>KazuTrumpet1512</b> - the 08/09/2013 at 2:32am<b>avel427</b> - the 08/08/2013 at 6:41pm<b>PrinceofTennis</b> - the 08/08/2013 at 4:59pm<b>fml1365</b> - the 08/08/2013 at 11:57am<b>kaomi123</b> - the 08/08/2013 at 10:48am<b>hansam</b> - the 08/08/2013 at 10:43am<b>rlope291</b> - the 08/08/2013 at 6:15am

MrPortalFan's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of MrPortalFan's badges

MrPortalFan's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up from the most sensual dream I've had in months. Unfortunately, despite it being better than any action I've had in a long time, the dream was about me fucking a donut. FML

#21457543
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21602) - you deserved it (3271)

On 08/18/2015 at 9:26am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my drill sergeant was yelling at me and asking me questions. I got a question wrong, and he asked me if I am a "Shit Sandwich". I replied "Yes sir, with extra cheese." I'm running miles till the day I die. FML

#21457342
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24594) - you deserved it (8958)

On 08/17/2015 at 9:55pm - work - by BarhydtBran - United States (California)

Today, after hearing the doctor saying my girlfriend can never be pregnant, I got a bit too excited. I'm currently on the 5th hour of the silent treatment. FML

#21457054
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17124) - you deserved it (35473)

On 08/17/2015 at 4:33am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my 12-year-old sister watched Frozen. She's spent the last two hours playing the song Let It Go on high volume over and over, and in different languages. I now have a skull-splitting headache, and my dad just sarcastically told me to "let it go". FML

#21113787
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48935) - you deserved it (6305)

On 04/15/2014 at 3:24pm - kids - by fuckyouharddad - United States (California)

Today, I was in the process of finally losing my virginity. Part-way through, my neighbour started shouting from his backyard, "Go, Nicolas! You can do it!" He was talking to his son, but the two of us have the same name. I couldn't finish. FML

#21046533
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59312) - you deserved it (6558) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/31/2014 at 4:05pm - intimacy - by prochainefois (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I accidentally punched myself in the mouth while eating a Go-Gurt. I was eating it because I'd just had my wisdom teeth removed. FML

#20886516
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43144) - you deserved it (5074)

On 09/18/2013 at 12:55pm - health - by GogurtBadass - United States (Washington)

Today, I was on drive-thru where I work. Our policy is that we can give free treats to dogs that come through. A woman came in and I noticed her dog. Without a thought, I grabbed a treat and asked if her dog wanted one. I looked again. The 'dog' was her daughter. FML

#20792109
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50918) - you deserved it (25238)

On 07/19/2013 at 9:54am - work - by Treats For Days - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while wiping my ass, the broken finger that has been set straight dipped into the toilet and touched a turd. This keeps happening since I broke it, and I'm sure it will again. FML

#20790784
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41087) - you deserved it (11292)

On 07/18/2013 at 4:53pm - health - by broken finger (man) - United States

Today, I called a tree removal company to have my diseased elm removed. When I got home from work, I was surprised to find it still there. Not as surprised as my neighbor was to discover that his tree was missing, nor as surprised as his children when they saw there was no more tree-house. FML

#20790198
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56514) - you deserved it (4244)

On 07/18/2013 at 10:38am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, while on the airplane, the cute girl next to me and I instantly hit it off. When I excused myself to the bathroom, I must have given her the wrong impression. She wanted to join the mile high club; I just wanted to take a crap. FML

#20781742
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62118) - you deserved it (13045)

On 07/14/2013 at 6:41am - intimacy - by mile high clubber - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my husband wanted to try anal for the first time. His attempt to sound romantic was him saying, "Open your buns, the meat is ready." FML

#20767385
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58350) - you deserved it (8158)

On 07/06/2013 at 5:21pm - intimacy - by hamburger - United States (Michigan)

Today, at work at a farm, we got a new calf. It looked like it had to poop, but was having difficulty. About four hours later it still hadn't pooped. Turns out it was born without an actual butthole. It was there, just sealed up by skin. I literally had to cut this poor calf a new butthole. FML

#20617044
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84614) - you deserved it (4453)

On 04/23/2013 at 10:01pm - animals - by halliemarie1818 - United States

Today, I tried role playing with my boyfriend. As I came out in sexy lingerie, I announced, "I'm Natalia, a Russian spy fluent in 2 languages: Russian and your cock." He laughed so hard he practically pissed himself. The night ended in me doing his laundry. Alone. FML

#20119371
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34277) - you deserved it (19365)

On 10/16/2012 at 8:36am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, after great sex with my boyfriend, I lay in my bed while he went to get a drink from downstairs. Hearing someone come up, I shouted out as a joke, "Damn babe, I'm covered in cum, was there a hole you didn't fill?" It wasn't my boyfriend, it was my dad. FML

#20109762
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17875) - you deserved it (65154)

On 10/09/2012 at 10:32pm - intimacy - by cumhole (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he laid on the bed, silent and naked in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I raped my boyfriend. FML

#18483356
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52090) - you deserved it (8208)

On 12/11/2011 at 6:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)



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