Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Online | Search for a member
About MrConcise : ►► FML's Self-Proclaimed Resident Smartass Pseudointellectual ◄◄
Though our troubles and woes are relentless and unforgiving, we may rejoice as we rekindle one another's flames to familiar vibrancy; we burn brightest with the strength of unity.
I'm done posting here. Popular opinion trumps logic every time and I'm sick of it. The staff is biased and unprofessional as well.
It's unacceptable to justify your actions if the world doesn't like your answer.
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
You sure know how to party?
You posted a comment on the 31st of December between 11pm and 1am. Happy New Year!
Today, while in my backyard, I had some insane gastric distress. I let out a fart so powerful that it made me yelp in pain, and left my asshole numb. A second later, I heard a cough come from over my neighbor's fence. I had to quietly limp back into my house in shame. FML
Today, I woke up to an old lady right outside my open window, saying "Hello in there! Are you sleepy?" I was so startled that I answered her. She screamed. Turns out she's my neighbour's elderly mother, didn't know I was in there, and was talking to my cat. FML
Today, as I was picking up my 5-year-old brother from school, he hugged a girl from his class to say goodbye. His classmate's mom and I looked at each other, thinking it was adorable, until my brother decided to dry hump the side of his classmate's thigh. FML
Today, my wife has a bruise on her cheek from a nasty trip while practicing her yoga. She now thinks it's hilarious to flinch in public when I get near her, and keeps telling people she "walked into a door". I've gotten more dirty looks than I can count. FML
Today, I was driving my 7-year-old daughter to school, when out of nowhere a bird smashed into the windshield. Instead of screaming or being traumatized by the gore like me, my daughter started laughing, eventually calling the bird a "stupid bastard". FML
Tuesday 3 March 2015