Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

MrConcise

Offline (9 hours ago) | Search for a member

MrConcise

23Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 14 December 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 4948
  • Number of comments : 664
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 19 posted

About MrConcise : ►► FML's Self-Proclaimed Resident Smartass Pseudointellectual ◄◄

Though our troubles and woes are relentless and unforgiving, we may rejoice as we rekindle one another's flames to familiar vibrancy; we burn brightest with the strength of unity.

I'm going to buy a piece of land, build a pool on it, and then buy a houseboat for said pool. Talk about inefficiency. Anybody wanna live on my pool with me?

An hourglass is only beautiful when you admire the grains instead of counting them.

Stop making yourself miserable just to extend your life a few years; indulge in pleasures, don't cling to a life you can't enjoy.

MrConcise's page activity

Visits<b>aspenmoon</b> - 3 hours ago<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - 4 hours ago<b>SecretSociety7</b> - 16 hours ago<b>EmmaRey</b> - 21 hours ago<b>FitFriday</b> - 22 hours ago<b>Saraj07</b> - 24 hours ago<b>kindasortayeah</b> - yesterday at 9:40pm<b>roxzanne22</b> - yesterday at 5:40pm<b>BenMLaw</b> - yesterday at 4:58pm<b>HeavilySaid8ed</b> - yesterday at 12:29pm<b>DropTheDaggerxx</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 10:29pm<b>kukumber</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 10:17pm<b>Connerm</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 8:00pm<b>cteo45</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 6:41pm<b>Superspiderbat</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 5:49pm<b>MoshedPotatoes</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 4:40pm<b>EverVanity</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 3:06pm<b>labracabrador</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 1:28pm

Liked!<b>PrincessOfGore</b> - the 01/13/2015 at 2:07am<b>SkipBeatOtaku</b> - the 01/09/2015 at 10:27am<b>spork_of_doom</b> - the 01/07/2015 at 1:08pm<b>thatchick1405</b> - the 01/06/2015 at 11:15pm<b>keithsbooty</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 11:34pm<b>kittyfrozen</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 11:11pm<b>Taterbug98</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 7:40am<b>lhuss12</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 11:49pm<b>eri_gian</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 4:46pm<b>devildog562</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 8:49pm<b>M155CH405</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 7:10pm<b>frozenlover218</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 7:34pm<b>ally_sanderson</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 4:25am<b>kenyanboy218</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 11:34pm<b>SHADOWS565</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 1:47am<b>Babyshawty2409</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 5:42pm<b>sheba72</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 8:44pm<b>Wump</b> - the 11/14/2014 at 10:56pm

MrConcise's FML badges

You sure know how to party?

You posted a comment on the 31st of December between 11pm and 1am. Happy New Year!

I never take things to heart

Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of MrConcise's badges

MrConcise's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad's conspiracy theory obsession hit a new level of stupidity when he blurted "false flag" because our toaster stopped working. FML

#20797881
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32680) - you deserved it (2828)

On 07/22/2013 at 4:19pm - misc - by facepalm (man) - United States

Today, I was working the drive-through at McDonald's. I greeted a customer with a, "Hi, how are you doing today?" His response: "Better than you." FML

#20795022
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48070) - you deserved it (7925)

On 07/21/2013 at 12:15am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my friends took my work laptop and changed the sounds. Now, whenever I remove a USB device, a woman's voice screams "Put it back!" and when I insert a USB device, it says "Oh, you need to push it in harder!" I don't know how to change it back. FML

#20793994
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54865) - you deserved it (6347)

On 07/20/2013 at 11:45am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I called a tree removal company to have my diseased elm removed. When I got home from work, I was surprised to find it still there. Not as surprised as my neighbor was to discover that his tree was missing, nor as surprised as his children when they saw there was no more tree-house. FML

#20790198
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53715) - you deserved it (4017)

On 07/18/2013 at 10:38am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was at the park playing Frisbee with my friends, when I saw a boy sitting on a bench looking rather sad. "Hey!" I yelled, and he looked up at me. I lightly threw the Frisbee in his direction, and it hit him in the face. He was blind. FML

#20788974
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54716) - you deserved it (17052)

On 07/17/2013 at 7:15pm - kids - by WasntMe - United States

Today, trying to be funny in front of some friends, I held my cat above my head Lion King style. The height must have made him nervous, because he shat on my head. FML

#20788265
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28390) - you deserved it (50544)

On 07/17/2013 at 12:02pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to pull one of those toy stretchy hands out of my dog's butthole. It slapped me in the face when I finally got it out. FML

#20787584
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57278) - you deserved it (6786)

On 07/17/2013 at 12:48am - animals - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, while on the airplane, the cute girl next to me and I instantly hit it off. When I excused myself to the bathroom, I must have given her the wrong impression. She wanted to join the mile high club; I just wanted to take a crap. FML

#20781742
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58593) - you deserved it (12266)

On 07/14/2013 at 6:41am - intimacy - by mile high clubber - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my 15-year-old daughter's pregnancy test came back positive. I wanted to know who the father is, so I could sit the two of them down to talk the situation through with them. She isn't sure if it's her best friend, or our neighbor's son. FML

#20777059
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62621) - you deserved it (10858)

On 07/12/2013 at 1:19am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my 13-year-old daughter and I went to a tropical themed restaurant. She wanted a strawberry Daiquiri, so I asked the waitress for a virgin strawberry Daiquiri. My daughter then said, "But dad, I'm not a virgin." FML

#20775827
338 comments

I agree, your life sucks (99937) - you deserved it (11664)

On 07/11/2013 at 10:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while leaving McDonald's, I threw a fry out the window to a flock of seagulls. I watched in the rear-view mirror as it landed in the opposite lane and about 60 winged rats descended upon the street, causing a truck to veer off the road and crash. FML

#20773275
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27431) - you deserved it (45948)

On 07/09/2013 at 10:48pm - misc - by John - United States

Today, I went to my local pool. I lay down in a chair and started tanning. About 30 minutes later, a lady came up to me and said, "Put that away, you pervert, there are children here!" I had a hole in my pants and my penis had started to poke through. FML

#20772281
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52299) - you deserved it (21140)

On 07/09/2013 at 12:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my five-year-old daughter called the police to report her stolen nose. FML

#20769088
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53006) - you deserved it (9155)

On 07/07/2013 at 5:57pm - kids - by nosestealer (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was going to fight the guy who my girlfriend left me for. While waiting at the park, he sent me a video of the two of them having sex on my bed. FML

#20768398
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65797) - you deserved it (21394)

On 07/07/2013 at 8:35am - love - by SimG (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was drinking from a cup with a built-in straw. After taking a long sip, I noticed a weird taste. Upon investigation, I found a small caterpillar wedged inside the straw. FML

#20768067
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43300) - you deserved it (3861)

On 07/07/2013 at 1:09am - misc - by yum - United States (California)



Idan Schneider's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Idan Schneider's illustrated FML
  • Oi! Stop "playing" that digeridoo and get out! There, now that I've tidied up my apartment, we can begin. How are you all doing? Have you got your leather jacket out of storage to go hang out down at…

Thursday 22 January 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: