Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

MrConcise

Online | Search for a member

MrConcise

23Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 14 December 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 4970
  • Number of comments : 664
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 19 posted

About MrConcise : ►► FML's Self-Proclaimed Resident Smartass Pseudointellectual ◄◄

Though our troubles and woes are relentless and unforgiving, we may rejoice as we rekindle one another's flames to familiar vibrancy; we burn brightest with the strength of unity.

I'm going to buy a piece of land, build a pool on it, and then buy a houseboat for said pool. Talk about inefficiency. Anybody wanna live on my pool with me?

An hourglass is only beautiful when you admire the grains instead of counting them.

Stop making yourself miserable just to extend your life a few years; indulge in pleasures, don't cling to a life you can't enjoy.

MrConcise's page activity

Visits<b>aspenmoon</b> - yesterday at 12:34am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - yesterday at 11:41pm<b>SecretSociety7</b> - yesterday at 11:11am<b>EmmaRey</b> - yesterday at 6:25am<b>FitFriday</b> - yesterday at 5:13am<b>Saraj07</b> - yesterday at 3:10am<b>kindasortayeah</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 9:40pm<b>roxzanne22</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 5:40pm<b>BenMLaw</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 4:58pm<b>HeavilySaid8ed</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 12:29pm<b>DropTheDaggerxx</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 10:29pm<b>kukumber</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 10:17pm<b>Connerm</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 8:00pm<b>cteo45</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 6:41pm<b>Superspiderbat</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 5:49pm<b>MoshedPotatoes</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 4:40pm<b>EverVanity</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 3:06pm<b>labracabrador</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 1:28pm

Liked!<b>PrincessOfGore</b> - the 01/13/2015 at 2:07am<b>SkipBeatOtaku</b> - the 01/09/2015 at 10:27am<b>spork_of_doom</b> - the 01/07/2015 at 1:08pm<b>thatchick1405</b> - the 01/06/2015 at 11:15pm<b>keithsbooty</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 11:34pm<b>kittyfrozen</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 11:11pm<b>Taterbug98</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 7:40am<b>lhuss12</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 11:49pm<b>eri_gian</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 4:46pm<b>devildog562</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 8:49pm<b>M155CH405</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 7:10pm<b>frozenlover218</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 7:34pm<b>ally_sanderson</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 4:25am<b>kenyanboy218</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 11:34pm<b>SHADOWS565</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 1:47am<b>Babyshawty2409</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 5:42pm<b>sheba72</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 8:44pm<b>Wump</b> - the 11/14/2014 at 10:56pm

MrConcise's FML badges

You sure know how to party?

You posted a comment on the 31st of December between 11pm and 1am. Happy New Year!

I never take things to heart

Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of MrConcise's badges

MrConcise's favorite FMLs

Today, I was showing a new girl around at school. As we were walking through the parking lot she noticed a green jeep and commented "I heard the person who drives that is a total creep. Is he?" I said I didn't know who it was. It was my car. FML

#20846340
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49787) - you deserved it (5704)

On 08/20/2013 at 1:40pm - misc - by mycar - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my band informed me that our gig this afternoon was actually a wedding. Whose wedding? My ex-wife's, along with the guy she cheated on me with. For their first dance, I had to sing what used to be our song. FML

#20844435
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75902) - you deserved it (4231)

On 08/19/2013 at 9:06am - love - by Love stinks (man) - United States

Today, I broke into tears at work after being told my aunt had a stroke. My boss told me to "suck it up, no one is that close to their aunt." My aunt adopted me when my mother passed away. FML

Today, I was visiting my cousin's farm. Going out for a morning stroll, I took an apple with me to munch along the way. As I was eating it, I heard a distant thumping sound and was suddenly slammed into the ground. When I looked up, a horse was eating my apple. I got mugged by a horse. FML

#20836718
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54340) - you deserved it (6178)

On 08/14/2013 at 5:11am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, while cleaning my ears with Q-tips, I came in my pants. FML

#20835942
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48212) - you deserved it (17196)

On 08/13/2013 at 7:53pm - intimacy - by ANON (man) - United States (California)

Today, my 26-year-old boyfriend came to my apartment to spend the night for the first time. He brought a "blankie" that he insisted was the only thing that could help him sleep. That "blankie" was his ex-girlfriend's silk nightgown. FML

#20833570
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52220) - you deserved it (3953)

On 08/12/2013 at 10:30am - love - by iwearsilkgownstoeatwaffles (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got a call from my son's kindergarten teacher. Apparently my son asked a girl to marry him. After she said no, he stabbed her with a fork. FML

#20829995
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59396) - you deserved it (5433)

On 08/10/2013 at 12:02am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was in the restroom at work, snickering at some funny stories on my phone while I took a dump. Little did I know that the asshole in the next stall would report me to our boss, claiming he'd heard weird noises, then looked over the divider and witnessed me jacking off to porn. FML

#20829508
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42880) - you deserved it (6821)

On 08/09/2013 at 6:17pm - work - by fired (man) -

Today, I wore a bikini to the lake with my parents. I didn't know that my back was covered in bruises, and ended up having to awkwardly explain to my parents that I am not in an abusive relationship; the bruises came from the sex I had last night. FML

#20822120
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51487) - you deserved it (14581)

On 08/05/2013 at 1:58pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend of 3 weeks gave me an ultimatum: marry her, or she kills herself. FML

#20814794
339 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67514) - you deserved it (5823)

On 08/01/2013 at 3:36am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, while taking a walk in the forest, someone approached me and asked to borrow the knife I had clipped to my pocket. I happily obliged, assuming he just needed it as a tool. Instead, he used the knife to mug me, taking my cellphone and my wallet. I was robbed with my own knife. FML

Today, I was watching my 3-year-old sister play in the bathtub. She started screaming at her toys, saying "You're staying under the water until you DIE!" She then looked at me and cackled. I share a room with this demon child. FML

#20814477
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49973) - you deserved it (3691)

On 08/01/2013 at 12:03am - kids - by ktiskool (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my 10-year-old son told my 5-year-old daughter that we're a ghost family, and told her to run through our glass door to see for herself. She believed it, ran straight into the door, and ended up having to be taken to hospital. FML

#20813979
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54635) - you deserved it (5249)

On 07/31/2013 at 7:19pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Falkirk)

Today, I was reading in my apartment. Due to a heatwave and my lack of AC, I was completely naked. My cat jumped onto my lap, and as her claws dug into my stomach, I recoiled. This caused her to retreat, clawing at my nether regions in the process. My pussy mauled my pussy. FML

#20810087
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51437) - you deserved it (11704)

On 07/29/2013 at 5:18pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I went out and met somebody. We got talking and we both realized we are each the ideal romantic partner for the other. The only problem is we are both straight men. FML

#20809215
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51317) - you deserved it (7568)

On 07/29/2013 at 2:35am - love - by confusedmofo - Indonesia



Idan Schneider's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Idan Schneider's illustrated FML
  • Oi! Stop "playing" that digeridoo and get out! There, now that I've tidied up my apartment, we can begin. How are you all doing? Have you got your leather jacket out of storage to go hang out down at…

Thursday 22 January 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: