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About MrConcise : "Though our troubles and woes are relentless and unforgiving, we may rejoice as we rekindle one another's flames to familiar vibrancy; we burn brightest with the strength of unity."
Love is powerful enough to shred away pettiness, to stop the bad choices we wish we could go through with, to keep from intentionally hurting those we care about.
I'm a professional house and pet sitter, call me if you need your hamster squashed.
"I am stronger than Depression and I am braver than Loneliness and nothing will ever exhaust me."
- Sayang, the one and only
Shoutout to my homie Emily, who I used to call Emma but recently demoted to Carly for her sass.
You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.
What'cha looking at?
You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.
One more and it's business time
You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.
Today, while in my backyard, I had some insane gastric distress. I let out a fart so powerful that it made me yelp in pain, and left my asshole numb. A second later, I heard a cough come from over my neighbor's fence. I had to quietly limp back into my house in shame. FML
Today, I woke up to an old lady right outside my open window, saying "Hello in there! Are you sleepy?" I was so startled that I answered her. She screamed. Turns out she's my neighbour's elderly mother, didn't know I was in there, and was talking to my cat. FML
Today, as I was picking up my 5-year-old brother from school, he hugged a girl from his class to say goodbye. His classmate's mom and I looked at each other, thinking it was adorable, until my brother decided to dry hump the side of his classmate's thigh. FML
Today, my wife has a bruise on her cheek from a nasty trip while practicing her yoga. She now thinks it's hilarious to flinch in public when I get near her, and keeps telling people she "walked into a door". I've gotten more dirty looks than I can count. FML
Today, I was driving my 7-year-old daughter to school, when out of nowhere a bird smashed into the windshield. Instead of screaming or being traumatized by the gore like me, my daughter started laughing, eventually calling the bird a "stupid bastard". FML
Friday 3 July 2015