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About MrConcise : ►► FML's Self-Proclaimed Resident Smartass Pseudointellectual
Though our troubles and woes are relentless and unforgiving, we may rejoice as we rekindle one another's flames to familiar vibrancy; we burn brightest with the strength of unity.
The internet is slowly turning me into a SJW, smack me if I ever defend the right to practice cannibalism due to the nutritional benefits of a human-only diet.
Stop researching cures to STDs and start researching cures to Resting Bitch Face Syndrome!
I'm that guy who can't let go of an argument if you say something idiotic. Thank you, mods.
Pretty sure I love K. Flay. "Frightened cuz I got a lot of people counting on me, and I'm talking like an asshole, walking like a zombie."
One more and it's business time
You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
Today, while shopping with my 6-year-old daughter, she said, "Mommy, remember you wanna get duck tape!" A middle-aged guy nearby scoffed and told her: "DUCT, not DUCK. Dumb cunt." I ended up having to drive my bawling daughter home with no shopping. FML
Today, I had a big figure skating competition. Many of the girls before me fell or did not execute their jumps correctly. Me? I skated a flawless program. I was placed last because they said I didn't push myself hard enough to the point of falling. FML
Today, my girlfriend tried to justify having a one night stand with some other guy, with the words, "I'm on my period, okay?!" She acted like I was crazy when I asked how the fuck that made any sense. FML
Today, my girlfriend told her parents that she's pregnant. We have never even come close to having sex, but she told them I'm the father. Not only is my girlfriend cheating on me, but her father now wants me dead. FML
Thursday 23 April 2015