Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Offline (yesterday at 8:43am) | Search for a member
About MrConcise : I'm not concise. Extreme counterculture is just culture for the confrontational. What a cruel and unforgiving life. Born to be a crazy cat lady, damn my penis. I could tell you who my favorite FML regulars are, but I'd rather say that in relation to regulars, I'm the awkward distant cousin that people only think about during moments of utter failure or sheer genius.
Hit me up, my internet goes down a lot and I get bored. I generally spam comments when that happens.
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
Back from a party
An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.
Today, I got expelled from school. I was walking down a flight of stairs when I tripped and bumped into a kid ahead of me by mistake. He fell forward and took half a dozen people down with him. The staff think I did it on purpose, and there's talk of charges being pressed. FML
Today, while in my backyard, I had some insane gastric distress. I let out a fart so powerful that it made me yelp in pain, and left my asshole numb. A second later, I heard a cough come from over my neighbor's fence. I had to quietly limp back into my house in shame. FML
Today, I woke up to an old lady right outside my open window, saying "Hello in there! Are you sleepy?" I was so startled that I answered her. She screamed. Turns out she's my neighbour's elderly mother, didn't know I was in there, and was talking to my cat. FML
Today, as I was picking up my 5-year-old brother from school, he hugged a girl from his class to say goodbye. His classmate's mom and I looked at each other, thinking it was adorable, until my brother decided to dry hump the side of his classmate's thigh. FML
Today, my wife has a bruise on her cheek from a nasty trip while practicing her yoga. She now thinks it's hilarious to flinch in public when I get near her, and keeps telling people she "walked into a door". I've gotten more dirty looks than I can count. FML
Today, I was driving my 7-year-old daughter to school, when out of nowhere a bird smashed into the windshield. Instead of screaming or being traumatized by the gore like me, my daughter started laughing, eventually calling the bird a "stupid bastard". FML
Friday 26 September 2014