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About Mr25 : I'm the coolest cat you'll ever meet/argue over the internet with. Why? Because i say things like "coolest cat". In school, i'm the best when it comes to roasting sessions, so comebacks are no problem for me. My favorite commenters are perdix and DocBastard
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Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4875) - you deserved it (2628)
On 03/16/2012 at 4:23pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland
Today, I dropped a knife while cooking. Luckily it missed my foot, but only because it hit my knee. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3918) - you deserved it (1146)
On 03/10/2012 at 10:06pm - health - by jmac (man) - United States (California)
Today, I made a drunken bet with friends that I could pour lighter fluid on my hands, light it, and shake it out before I got burned. I lost. FML
I agree, your life sucks (1502) - you deserved it (16059)
On 01/27/2012 at 1:48am - health - by batsu (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my boyfriend and I were watching a movie and eating a burger. Feeling frisky, I sat up and took off my shirt. He looked at my chest, at his burger, then back at me and said, "Give me a minute, I don't want my food to get cold." FML
I agree, your life sucks (4205) - you deserved it (7089)
On 01/24/2012 at 3:50am - intimacy - by elisimo - United States (New York)
Today, I sold my Xbox and Kinect to a guy. I forgot that sometimes I'd play Dance Central naked, and the Kinect would make videos. This guy now has videos of me, naked, badly dancing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9280) - you deserved it (31920)
On 01/13/2012 at 12:05am - misc - by anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I tried to give my friend a fist bump. He thought I was trying to punch him so he punched me in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19026) - you deserved it (3481)
On 01/12/2012 at 2:24pm - misc - by Anon (man) - United States (Hawaii)
Today, I had to bail my drunk husband out of jail after he and his best friend tried to steal a police horse from an officer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20494) - you deserved it (2787)
On 01/08/2012 at 12:42pm - misc - by bellaskyeb - United States
Today, I had an upset stomach. I lay down in bed with a bucket nearby just in case. Later on, the urge to vomit overcame me, and I puked into the bucket. I realised too late that my cat had chosen to sleep in it. He jumped out and spread vomit all over my apartment. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11624) - you deserved it (1412) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, at my job as a waitress, I fell, landed on my ass, managing not to spill the drinks or drop the food in my hands. A little boy yelled "NINJA WAITRESS!" Every one at work has been calling me that all day, and purposely been trying to trip me to see if I could do it again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17821) - you deserved it (2537)
On 11/30/2011 at 12:39am - work - by immy504 - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I cut my penis on a desk fan. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13841) - you deserved it (53852)
On 11/11/2011 at 10:53am - intimacy - by dumbassbuffet (man) - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, I got mugged by a guy who was threatening me with a stapler. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20710) - you deserved it (5716)
On 11/08/2011 at 9:39am - misc - by StaplerScared - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my recently ex-girlfriend's mother called me regarding her baby girl, saying, "If you mess with the chicklet, you mess with the momma hen." I have no idea what the hell this means for my future, but I'm a bit scared. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18173) - you deserved it (2801)
On 11/07/2011 at 2:20am - love - by roadkill0321 - United States
Today, I was attending my bachelor party. I watched a very attractive young girl dancing on a pole, giving me a seductive look. As she walked up to me, I realized it was my soon-to-be wife's younger sister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22069) - you deserved it (11839)
On 11/06/2011 at 1:15am - misc - by wellthisisawkward80 - United States
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. The lights kept on going on and off. Why? The lights are activated by "clap on, clap off." It killed the mood. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23228) - you deserved it (6237)
On 11/03/2011 at 7:48pm - intimacy - by KayleeXLoVe21 - United States (New York)
Today, I was hurriedly doing laundry. I threw a second load in the dryer and slammed the door shut. All of a sudden, I heard scratching and whining coming from the dryer. My cat probably hates me now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10848) - you deserved it (22896)
On 11/01/2011 at 3:02pm - animals - by benji - United States (Michigan)
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