About Mr116 : Well I'm a 22 year old who loves to listen to music, play video games, and read. I come to FML to make me laugh because no matter how bad your day is going there is always someone else who has it worse.
Mr116's FML badges
You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Mr116's favorite FMLs
by Mariah Heimann / 12/14/2011 at 10:34pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, while lying in bed with my boyfriend after some steamy lovemaking, he sat up, slapped my ass with excruciating force, and screamed, "I AM THE THUNDER!" directly into my ear. It seems our senses of humor differ considerably. FML
by myasshurts / 10/14/2011 at 7:03pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
Today, I found out that my wife was having sex with my friend. It turned out that my genius cat realized it wasn't me there and attacked his balls, severely cutting them. I now have to kill my cat and pay for his medical bills to sew his balls back. FML
by Anonymous / 01/08/2011 at 8:11pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, I was visiting my boyfriend, who lives 2 hours away. After about twenty minutes of glorious sex, he told me in no uncertain terms that he was about to come. He then "baaa"d like a sheep as he came. I couldn't come after that. FML
by seriously / 10/02/2010 at 4:31pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, I went to the DMV to renew my license. When I gave the woman behind the desk my name and social security number she looked confused. She then called over her manager, who did the same thing. Getting nervous, I asked what was wrong. Apparently according to the state of Illinois I'm dead. FML
by driver / 01/06/2010 at 9:55am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation
Today, I woke up from a dream about finding a vending machine that gave me free food. I kept eating, it was so satisfying words could not describe how great it felt. Then I realized my hands were in between my legs, I had been touching myself dreaming about free food from a vending machine. FML
by hdat / 06/11/2009 at 1:51pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
Today, I meant to express to my friends that I was enamored with a young saleswoman I had encountered at a store. I wanted to tell them that she was quite petite and that I am, in general, attracted to petite women. Instead I said "You know? I like little girls." FML
by boinger / 06/03/2009 at 1:23am / United States (California) / Love
Today, my girlfriend and I went down to the pier. I brought an empty bottle and some paper, and we both constructed a massive letter expressing our passionate love for each other. We stuck it in the bottle, and threw it out to sea, only to see it explode in slow motion on a protruding rock. FML
by CastAway / 05/23/2009 at 8:16pm / United States (Washington) / Love
Today, I was at the mall blasting music. I was wearing a nice shirt, and had my iPod in my breast pocket. I noticed a cute girl smiling at me, so I smiled back and as she started to walk over, I turned down my music while smiling. It looked like I was rubbing my nipple. FML
by zero_minded12 / 05/20/2009 at 11:08pm / United States (Illinois) / Love
by bittersweet / 02/07/2009 at 10:08pm / United States (New York) / Love
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…
- Today, I’m in China, and I took my Golden Retriever to the groomer’s to get him cleaned up, because… Today, because I’m on my period, I asked my boyfriend to turn around so I could change my clothes.… Today, my mom had to go to one of her relatives’ funeral. She came to borrow a black scarf from me,…