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Mortoli

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Mortoli

2Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 20 January 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 613
  • Number of comments : 204
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Mortoli : Mostly a loner. But love gaming and anime. Fluke Mortoli ps3 name. And yes the picture is a face of me playing with my food. Lol. It was good. In any case I am a security guard and pretty much only thing I enjoy doing outside me house is watching the moon and stars at work 12 hour shift is nice cause I get to watch the rise and set. Most people my age wouldn't like 12 hour shifts at night but I don't mind it. And if you ever see a tall guy with headphones in his ears probably me listening to rock. Or techno or X-ray dog. And if you ever wanna chat I'm always up to it. I'm on fml almost daily. Monster rancher awesome game still.

Mortoli's page activity

Visits<b>boring_boredom</b> - 9 hours ago<b>vixypixys</b> - 24 hours ago<b>Xquisite1</b> - yesterday at 12:36am<b>prideslegion</b> - yesterday at 12:27am<b>brewmasterg</b> - yesterday at 12:22am<b>demi94</b> - yesterday at 8:37pm<b>Acers1</b> - yesterday at 9:51am<b>pooop21</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 7:32am<b>EvilLittleMan</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 5:43pm<b>MzZombicidal</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 9:50pm<b>junkmanthefool</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 2:48pm<b>xoreggie</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 3:22am<b>K40RU</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 8:38pm<b>noah_1234</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 7:46pm<b>junkman6</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 8:37pm<b>PinkPoshling111</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 3:52am<b>jensensfuckbuddy</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 9:56am<b>LovesSushi</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 8:38pm

Liked!<b>xoreggie</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 8:11am<b>bmolover57</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 4:18am

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Mortoli's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to go to my dentist about a chipped tooth. I got it after my hand slipped off my dick and slammed straight into my face while I was masturbating. FML

#21288518
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12505) - you deserved it (8866)

On 10/30/2014 at 4:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I watched as the teenage neighbor girl tried to parallel-park between me and my wife's cars. She was doing pretty well until she backed into mine, got scared, hit the accelerator and ran into my wife's. FML

#21287621
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31980) - you deserved it (2332)

On 10/29/2014 at 11:24am - misc - by carless - United States

Today, I hit a new low point in my life when I stole batteries from a toy at the daycare I work at, and put them in my vibrator. FML

#21286701
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19930) - you deserved it (26303)

On 10/27/2014 at 11:40pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, my little sister decided it would be funny to hide in the washroom closet while I was taking a piss. I wasn't pissing, I was wanking. FML

#21281971
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34342) - you deserved it (10499)

On 10/20/2014 at 8:29pm - intimacy - by John (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, near the end end of my shift as a bartender, a drunk man stumbled into my bar, got upset because I refused to serve him, puked into my tip jar, then offered me half a pack of cigarettes in exchange for sex. FML

#21281851
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30274) - you deserved it (2073)

On 10/20/2014 at 5:04pm - work - by Bartender - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was skating in the city when I slipped and fractured my arm. As I was lying in pain, a guy walked up to me, frisked my pocket and took my wallet. He then said: "It's nothing personal." FML

#21281599
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36190) - you deserved it (2917)

On 10/20/2014 at 4:50am - misc - by ColdStones (man) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, after waiting for years for my oldest daughter to grow out of Twilight, my younger daughter discovered it. FML

#21281374
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31575) - you deserved it (2995)

On 10/19/2014 at 10:20pm - kids - by team hit bella with a car (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I found a book in my attic that I always read when I was a kid. For old times sake I read it again. On the very first page, child me had written, "Go to page 15" so I did. On page 15, in big red letters, it said, "Get bent". I got pranked by myself. FML

#21281163
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28551) - you deserved it (7371)

On 10/19/2014 at 3:27pm - misc - by Deadpool434 (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, while out for dinner with my parents, a woman, approximately the same age as my mother, repeatedly propositioned me for sex during the course of my meal. After declining firmly several times, she only stopped after my mother convinced her I was gay. FML

#21279658
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35287) - you deserved it (3010)

On 10/17/2014 at 6:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I walked into my house and saw it was flooded. I went upstairs to the bathroom to see the toilet overflowing and my boyfriend holding my dog over it so he could drink it. My boyfriend said he didn't know what else to do. FML

#21279204
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34213) - you deserved it (3443)

On 10/16/2014 at 4:53pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, the steroids I was prescribed for a slightly irritating sinus infection have worked, albeit at the price of making me almost shit my pants multiple times. My sinuses are now clear enough that I get the full scent of my steroid-induced diarrhea. FML

#21279069
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29033) - you deserved it (2532)

On 10/16/2014 at 12:44pm - health - by roidrager (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, coming home, I opened up my door to find my drunk boyfriend trying to teach our three baby parakeets to perch on his erect penis. FML

#21278553
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35326) - you deserved it (3722)

On 10/15/2014 at 7:36pm - misc - by facepalm (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I and a coworker got bitched out and suspended by our boss after our computers got infected with a weird porn virus. It soon turned out the virus had come from our boss' infected memory stick. Did he apologize? No. Is our suspension still in force? Yes. FML

#21275140
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37552) - you deserved it (2462)

On 10/10/2014 at 6:34pm - work - by shatfjord (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I finally lost my virginity. Too bad it cost me every last shred of self-respect and involved begging a hooker to take my money. FML

#21275111
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31775) - you deserved it (18697)

On 10/10/2014 at 5:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I witnessed some greasy twat trying to chat a girl up by negging her, which is basically insulting a woman to lower her self-esteem so she's more likely to put out. "Goddamn negger", I muttered. "The fuck did you just say?!" yelled a black guy standing beside me. FML

#21275066
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31297) - you deserved it (14384)

On 10/10/2014 at 4:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)



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