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Mortoli

Offline (the 01/23/2015 at 11:13pm) | Search for a member

Mortoli

2Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 20 January 1994 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2697
  • Number of comments : 223
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Mortoli : Mostly a loner. But love gaming and anime. Fluke Mortoli ps3 name. And yes the picture is a face of me playing with my food. Lol. It was good. And for all you veggietereans, or however that spelled, lol, sorry for explicit profile pic. In any case I am a security guard and pretty much only thing I enjoy doing outside me house is watching the moon and stars at work 12 hour shift is nice cause I get to watch the rise and set. Most people my age wouldn't like 12 hour shifts at night but I don't mind it. And if you ever see a tall guy with headphones in his ears probably me listening to rock. Or techno or X-ray dog. And if you ever wanna chat I'm always up to it. I'm on fml almost daily. I'm always waiting for next persons story. Oh and just now found a fencing sword in my rooms attic closet thing. Only thing on it says Toledo. Message me if interested on teaching me about this sword will add a picture on me profile later.

Mortoli's page activity

Visits<b>ziggysmommy201</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 2:20am<b>Wondermage</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 6:37am<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 9:04am<b>stuckintime</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 10:31pm<b>TheAnon1313</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 7:39pm<b>codyflanders2008</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 12:43am<b>leahb99</b> - the 01/20/2015 at 8:36pm<b>__Zorro__</b> - the 12/31/2014 at 10:33pm<b>Littlest_things</b> - the 12/28/2014 at 9:20am<b>wilburhp</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 6:09am<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 2:52am<b>ShyAmai</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 8:47pm<b>vertencar</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 5:13pm<b>Miss_Blondie44</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 6:54pm<b>wysteria14</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 4:20pm<b>ihaveasushicat</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 12:52am<b>oh_your_god</b> - the 11/03/2014 at 3:00pm<b>NoahTheSmart1</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 10:44pm

Liked!<b>xoreggie</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 8:11am<b>bmolover57</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 4:18am

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Mortoli's favorite FMLs

Today, thanks to some asswipe drunk driver fleeing the cops the wrong way down a one-way street, I've now had my third wreck this year. My insurance premium's now higher than Bob Marley in a weed factory. FML

#21321099
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31615) - you deserved it (2742)

On 12/20/2014 at 7:53pm - money - by financially_wreckd (man) -

Today, my 7-year-old daughter loudly asked in the middle of the supermarket, "Mummy, what's a cunt?" FML

#21321028
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29583) - you deserved it (3175)

On 12/20/2014 at 5:42pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, my fiancé pawned off my engagement ring so he could buy himself a PS4. FML

#21320958
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35711) - you deserved it (4454)

On 12/20/2014 at 3:00pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I beat my boyfriend in a video game. He promptly dumped me and told me to leave. FML

#21319982
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33436) - you deserved it (3949)

On 12/18/2014 at 9:39pm - love - by I warned him - United States (Georgia)

Today, my dad and grandpa came to a charity event that I helped set up for people who have autism. I appreciated their support, until I heard my dad say "Man, some of these 'tards are pretty hot." and my grandpa replying "Yeah. Probably like dead fish in bed, though." FML

#21316987
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32743) - you deserved it (2534)

On 12/13/2014 at 9:02pm - misc - by ashamed (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, after months of saving, I went to buy the wedding ring I promised to buy my fiancée. Just seconds after I walked in, the owner asked me to leave, saying he doesn't serve "trash" like me, while pointing at the memorial tattoo on the back of my hand. FML

#21316839
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32776) - you deserved it (2939)

On 12/13/2014 at 3:21pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was trying to turn my boyfriend on with dirty texts. When he said "I'm horny," I teasingly replied, "Whoops, did I do that?" His reply? "Huh? Naw i'm watching sum porn". FML

#21316711
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29814) - you deserved it (5253)

On 12/13/2014 at 11:03am - intimacy - by giantcuntflaps (woman) - Australia

Today, I found out first-hand that the most horrifying sight you can ever witness is two morbidly obese people getting nasty with each other in a dance club's run-down, public restroom. FML

#21316146
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31684) - you deserved it (4336)

On 12/12/2014 at 11:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Alaska)

Today, I had to babysit my 7-year-old niece while my brother bought Christmas presents. After he left, she walked up to me and said in a very dark voice, "I'm gonna make you hate children!" Now my apartment looks like a bomb site. FML

#21316125
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28494) - you deserved it (2562)

On 12/12/2014 at 10:15am - kids - by Che_likes_you - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my commitment issues were perfectly illustrated when I couldn't put a nail in the wall to hang a painting, because, "What if I change my mind?" FML

#21316117
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26837) - you deserved it (5548)

On 12/12/2014 at 9:45am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, at my daughter's ballet recital, after she was done dancing, grown adults booed. She's five. FML

#21315826
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41697) - you deserved it (2221)

On 12/11/2014 at 8:43pm - kids - by anon - United States (New York)

Today, I was having sex when a cigarette craving came on. I don't know what's worse, the fact I asked for a cigarette break in the middle of sex or I last that long. FML

#21315600
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23012) - you deserved it (11061)

On 12/11/2014 at 1:33pm - intimacy - by cigarettes - United States

Today, I woke up from a wet dream. My girlfriend quickly figured it out and bitched me out for having one when she was "right there" for me to ask for sex. Logic failure aside, the last time I flirted with her, she called me a sex-obsessed pig and didn't talk to me for three days. FML

#21315008
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35675) - you deserved it (3725)

On 12/10/2014 at 1:16pm - intimacy - by unlovedandunfucked (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I found out I have sodium fluoride poisoning. Apparently, my water has a high level of sodium fluorine. I've been drinking much more water lately trying to be healthier. FML

#21313951
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30765) - you deserved it (2506)

On 12/08/2014 at 6:23pm - health - by anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I witnessed my dad rummage through his nostrils, thoughtfully examine the contents, and flick them nonchalantly onto the carpet. All of this he did with the biggest demented grin on his face. Sadly, this has become a regular occurrence. FML

#21313940
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23988) - you deserved it (2282)

On 12/08/2014 at 6:08pm - misc - by blech (woman) - Canada (Alberta)



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