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Mortoli

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Mortoli

2Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 20 January 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 550
  • Number of comments : 177
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Mortoli : Mostly a loner. But love gaming and anime. Fluke Mortoli ps3 name.

Mortoli's page activity

Visits<b>xoreggie</b> - 10 hours ago<b>junkman6</b> - 15 hours ago<b>K40RU</b> - 16 hours ago<b>PinkPoshling111</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 3:52am<b>jensensfuckbuddy</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 9:56am<b>LovesSushi</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 8:38pm<b>toasty_narwals</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 8:57pm<b>idkwat2useasname</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 11:23am<b>Nolanation97</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 6:58am<b>LadyLelan</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 8:27am<b>stronghand0331</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 2:55pm<b>dzhonatan</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 1:17am<b>vertencar</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 4:52pm<b>dragonrider1959</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 9:04pm<b>buckdharma</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 1:32pm<b>superamericankr</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 6:49pm<b>firefighterwife</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 2:04pm<b>guskta</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 10:44am

Liked!<b>xoreggie</b> - 4 hours ago<b>bmolover57</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 4:18am

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Mortoli's favorite FMLs

Today, my little sister decided it would be funny to hide in the washroom closet while I was taking a piss. I wasn't pissing, I was wanking. FML

#21281971
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7784) - you deserved it (2191)

On 10/20/2014 at 8:29pm - intimacy - by John (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, near the end end of my shift as a bartender, a drunk man stumbled into my bar, got upset because I refused to serve him, puked into my tip jar, then offered me half a pack of cigarettes in exchange for sex. FML

#21281851
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9437) - you deserved it (644)

On 10/20/2014 at 5:04pm - work - by Bartender - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was skating in the city when I slipped and fractured my arm. As I was lying in pain, a guy walked up to me, frisked my pocket and took my wallet. He then said: "It's nothing personal." FML

#21281599
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25196) - you deserved it (2037)

On 10/20/2014 at 4:50am - misc - by ColdStones (man) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, after waiting for years for my oldest daughter to grow out of Twilight, my younger daughter discovered it. FML

#21281374
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24164) - you deserved it (2331)

On 10/19/2014 at 10:20pm - kids - by team hit bella with a car (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I found a book in my attic that I always read when I was a kid. For old times sake I read it again. On the very first page, child me had written, "Go to page 15" so I did. On page 15, in big red letters, it said, "Get bent". I got pranked by myself. FML

#21281163
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21581) - you deserved it (5486)

On 10/19/2014 at 3:27pm - misc - by Deadpool434 (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I walked into my house and saw it was flooded. I went upstairs to the bathroom to see the toilet overflowing and my boyfriend holding my dog over it so he could drink it. My boyfriend said he didn't know what else to do. FML

#21279204
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31628) - you deserved it (3298)

On 10/16/2014 at 4:53pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, the steroids I was prescribed for a slightly irritating sinus infection have worked, albeit at the price of making me almost shit my pants multiple times. My sinuses are now clear enough that I get the full scent of my steroid-induced diarrhea. FML

#21279069
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27390) - you deserved it (2457)

On 10/16/2014 at 12:44pm - health - by roidrager (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, coming home, I opened up my door to find my drunk boyfriend trying to teach our three baby parakeets to perch on his erect penis. FML

#21278553
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33195) - you deserved it (3611)

On 10/15/2014 at 7:36pm - misc - by facepalm (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I and a coworker got bitched out and suspended by our boss after our computers got infected with a weird porn virus. It soon turned out the virus had come from our boss' infected memory stick. Did he apologize? No. Is our suspension still in force? Yes. FML

#21275140
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36387) - you deserved it (2448)

On 10/10/2014 at 6:34pm - work - by shatfjord (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I finally lost my virginity. Too bad it cost me every last shred of self-respect and involved begging a hooker to take my money. FML

#21275111
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30572) - you deserved it (17817)

On 10/10/2014 at 5:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I witnessed some greasy twat trying to chat a girl up by negging her, which is basically insulting a woman to lower her self-esteem so she's more likely to put out. "Goddamn negger", I muttered. "The fuck did you just say?!" yelled a black guy standing beside me. FML

#21275066
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30511) - you deserved it (14068)

On 10/10/2014 at 4:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I asked my 12-year-old son what he wanted for his birthday. He looked me dead in the eyes and said, "A whore." FML

#21265910
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39283) - you deserved it (6249)

On 09/26/2014 at 5:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was having sex with this amazingly hot guy. Things got pretty intense, and right as I was about to orgasm, the gold crucifix came flying off his necklace and sliced my eyelid open. Message received. Well played, God. FML

#21262317
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38786) - you deserved it (5545)

On 09/21/2014 at 7:27am - intimacy - by Sinnersinner - United States (California)

Today, my fiancé and I were having sex in the early hours of the morning. He said "Morning sex is the best thing to wake up to." Without thinking, I responded "Yeah, unless you're in prison." He lost his erection due to laughing so hard and now can't look at me without laughing. FML

#21262210
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37856) - you deserved it (9764)

On 09/21/2014 at 1:11am - intimacy - by RuinedTheMood (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went with a couple of my friends to see a friend who's fallen very ill. Her dad walked in with a gun and demanded to know which of us had gotten his daughter pregnant. By the time I realized it was a joke, I'd already pissed myself. FML

#21261205
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34581) - you deserved it (4390)

On 09/19/2014 at 11:30am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)



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