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Mortoli

Offline (the 11/11/2014 at 4:28am) | Search for a member

Mortoli

2Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 20 January 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 841
  • Number of comments : 215
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Mortoli : Mostly a loner. But love gaming and anime. Fluke Mortoli ps3 name. And yes the picture is a face of me playing with my food. Lol. It was good. And for all you veggietereans, or however that spelled, lol, sorry for explicit profile pic. In any case I am a security guard and pretty much only thing I enjoy doing outside me house is watching the moon and stars at work 12 hour shift is nice cause I get to watch the rise and set. Most people my age wouldn't like 12 hour shifts at night but I don't mind it. And if you ever see a tall guy with headphones in his ears probably me listening to rock. Or techno or X-ray dog. And if you ever wanna chat I'm always up to it. I'm on fml almost daily. I'm always waiting for next persons story. Oh and just now found a fencing sword in my rooms attic closet thing. Only thing on it says Toledo. Message me if interested on teaching me about this sword will add a picture on me profile later.

Mortoli's page activity

Visits<b>ShyAmai</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 8:47pm<b>vertencar</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 5:13pm<b>Miss_Blondie44</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 6:54pm<b>wysteria14</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 4:20pm<b>ihaveasushicat</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 12:52am<b>oh_your_god</b> - the 11/03/2014 at 3:00pm<b>NoahTheSmart1</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 10:44pm<b>jbbc</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 8:39am<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 10:15pm<b>demi94</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 8:34am<b>hannah_r_nelson</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 9:04pm<b>namyo</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 6:57pm<b>boring_boredom</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 11:35pm<b>vixypixys</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 7:48am<b>Xquisite1</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 12:36am<b>prideslegion</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 12:27am<b>brewmasterg</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 12:22am<b>Acers1</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 9:51am

Liked!<b>xoreggie</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 8:11am<b>bmolover57</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 4:18am

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Mortoli's favorite FMLs

Today, I took a army-mandated personality evaluation test. The results said I had a high chance of schizophrenia and multiple personality syndrome. Part of me says that the test is probably spot-on, the other part says it has to be a mistake. Apparently this is another sign of schizophrenia. FML

Today, after my shower, I went to clear off my fogged-up mirror. Doing so, I noticed a handprint on it. I compared it to my hand, but it was much too small. I live alone. FML

#21292770
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35526) - you deserved it (2184)

On 11/05/2014 at 3:44pm - misc - by spooked - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while having some "personal" time, I felt intense pleasure and moaned. I learned that my own moaning prevents me from reaching my peak. I'm my own turn off. FML

#21290790
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33121) - you deserved it (4875)

On 11/02/2014 at 8:31pm - intimacy - by SelfServiced - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to my 7 year old son angrily trying to smother me with a pillow. FML

#21290572
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34594) - you deserved it (3874)

On 11/02/2014 at 2:47pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was dressed as a single girl. I wore pajama pants, hoodie with no bra, and carried a plate of pizza around. But it wasn't my costume, I just had nowhere to go for Halloween. FML

#21289481
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32177) - you deserved it (4444)

On 11/01/2014 at 1:59am - misc - by 4evalone (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was a pregnant man for Halloween. Everyone at school thought it was funny, except my principal, who gave me a detention and said it was, "inappropriate and making a pregnant teacher feel uncomfortable". That pregnant teacher asked me to take a selfie with her. FML

#21289257
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34481) - you deserved it (2148)

On 10/31/2014 at 7:28pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to a Halloween party dressed as a pirate. Someone complimented me on how convincing the fake teeth were that I had on for my costume. I wasn't wearing fake teeth. FML

#21289034
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28950) - you deserved it (5559)

On 10/31/2014 at 11:56am - misc - by iliveformystery (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I had to go to my dentist about a chipped tooth. I got it after my hand slipped off my dick and slammed straight into my face while I was masturbating. FML

#21288518
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25889) - you deserved it (21162)

On 10/30/2014 at 4:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I watched as the teenage neighbor girl tried to parallel-park between me and my wife's cars. She was doing pretty well until she backed into mine, got scared, hit the accelerator and ran into my wife's. FML

#21287621
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39187) - you deserved it (2858)

On 10/29/2014 at 11:24am - misc - by carless - United States

Today, my mom talked to me and my brother about how great it was that our cousin was getting away from drugs and becoming sober, as he would have so many more opportunities opened up for him now. She explained all this while sitting on our patio, smoking a blunt. FML

#21287196
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31012) - you deserved it (3307)

On 10/28/2014 at 7:54pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I wanted to spice things up in the bedroom with my husband, so I set up some Halloween torches to create a wild ambiance. Unfortunately our dickhead neighbours saw the glow, didn't remember that fire tends to give off smoke, and called the fire department on us. FML

#21287079
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31867) - you deserved it (6073)

On 10/28/2014 at 4:45pm - intimacy - by BurnedDown (woman) - United Kingdom (East Riding of Yorkshire)

Today, I hit a new low point in my life when I stole batteries from a toy at the daycare I work at, and put them in my vibrator. FML

#21286701
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23910) - you deserved it (31413)

On 10/27/2014 at 11:40pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, my little sister decided it would be funny to hide in the washroom closet while I was taking a piss. I wasn't pissing, I was wanking. FML

#21281971
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36047) - you deserved it (10985)

On 10/20/2014 at 8:29pm - intimacy - by John (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, near the end end of my shift as a bartender, a drunk man stumbled into my bar, got upset because I refused to serve him, puked into my tip jar, then offered me half a pack of cigarettes in exchange for sex. FML

#21281851
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30860) - you deserved it (2084)

On 10/20/2014 at 5:04pm - work - by Bartender - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was skating in the city when I slipped and fractured my arm. As I was lying in pain, a guy walked up to me, frisked my pocket and took my wallet. He then said: "It's nothing personal." FML

#21281599
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36720) - you deserved it (2929)

On 10/20/2014 at 4:50am - misc - by ColdStones (man) - Norway (Hordaland)



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