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Offline (the 04/27/2016 at 7:09am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2139
  • Number of comments : 276
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About MortenM : You won't hear me saying that I'm Batman. I have just never been seen with Batman...

... and I laugh at other peoples misery on FML.

Besides I am a Dane living in Cyprus where I kill cockroaches in my apartment when I see them. It's an even game unfortunately - The little bastards keeps coming

I also do other stuff

MortenM's page activity

Visits<b>TheWorldshaker</b> - the 07/11/2016 at 10:32am<b>Altairae</b> - the 06/17/2016 at 2:44am<b>n_a_v_y</b> - the 06/16/2016 at 6:56pm<b>hotheadslav</b> - the 05/08/2016 at 4:11pm<b>LilsBills300</b> - the 05/07/2016 at 3:22pm<b>Mons</b> - the 05/04/2016 at 4:47am<b>MeganClarke16</b> - the 04/27/2016 at 10:47pm<b>mmaarrrggoo</b> - the 04/10/2016 at 5:07pm<b>wallerkat</b> - the 04/10/2016 at 1:54pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 04/04/2016 at 3:25am<b>Marelena20</b> - the 04/02/2016 at 11:11pm<b>macncheeze97</b> - the 03/31/2016 at 1:44am<b>splitms</b> - the 03/29/2016 at 8:48pm<b>DejaRenee</b> - the 03/29/2016 at 12:23am<b>sabby7</b> - the 03/27/2016 at 11:11pm<b>epost1</b> - the 03/27/2016 at 3:06am<b>hopper4ooo</b> - the 03/26/2016 at 9:35pm<b>jfreeman86</b> - the 03/26/2016 at 3:09pm

Fucked!<b>splitms</b> - the 03/27/2016 at 5:00am<b>shanewh40</b> - the 03/25/2016 at 11:03am<b>tin_cup</b> - the 03/17/2016 at 6:29am<b>Hop6e</b> - the 03/12/2016 at 7:47pm<b>whybrowhy</b> - the 03/08/2016 at 8:59am<b>CarmenCnh</b> - the 03/07/2016 at 9:43am<b>rhiley</b> - the 02/12/2016 at 7:30pm<b>Mcstud1y</b> - the 02/12/2016 at 4:06am<b>isnobodyhere</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 4:36pm<b>LadyLuck93</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 1:39pm<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 10:37pm<b>Jesmassimo</b> - the 01/16/2016 at 12:52am<b>rookworst</b> - the 12/16/2015 at 6:00pm<b>melisssa87</b> - the 12/04/2015 at 3:17am<b>Toonice45</b> - the 09/15/2015 at 6:10am<b>HarryHirsch</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 9:50pm<b>earthlyscum</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 1:28pm<b>meghancuma</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 2:08am

MortenM's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of MortenM's badges

MortenM's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to a bookstore to get "The Grapes of Wrath". I have a problem with controlling the volume of my voice, so once at the counter, I accidentally said quite loudly, "WHERE ARE THE ANGRY GRAPES?" FML

by Face fucking palm / 07/22/2014 at 11:36pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, it's my first day working the graveyard shift at a local hotel. My new boss thought it would be hilarious to sneak up behind me while dressed like the Grim Reaper. I screamed like a little girl and soaked my pants. Apparently he does this to all the new people. FML

by Anonymous / 05/04/2014 at 5:07pm / Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha) / Work

Today, I was glued to the toilet all day, gushing fountains of crap, due to my own bad cooking. It got so bad that I ran out of toilet paper and had to desperately jump in the shower and stay there for nearly two hours. I can't even feel my own asshole any more. FML

by Numbass123 / 05/04/2014 at 1:17pm / United States (Nevada) / Health

Today, I was in the car with my boyfriend, who was driving down the highway with the windows down. All of a sudden, everything went black. A cattle truck had sped past, and I had been hit by cow faeces travelling at 110km an hour. My boyfriend was hysterical. None of it hit him. FML

by Felicityfrank / 05/01/2014 at 10:17am / Australia (Victoria) / Animals

Today, I bought my niece a plush My Little Pony figure for her birthday. Only after she unwrapped it did I realize that it was meant to be a sex toy for grown men. FML

by Anonymous / 04/26/2014 at 1:57am / Canada / Kids

Today, the man sitting next to me on the train tried to sneak a dead cat into my bag while I was sleeping. FML

by now have a cat / 04/24/2014 at 4:52pm / United States (Illinois) / Animals

Today, my 808 area code phone number has yet again been mistaken for a 1-800 number. I've been getting phone calls at three in the morning from people on the east coast who are trying to return their shoes. They want to speak to my supervisor because I "don't sound professional enough." FML

by orangemango / 04/22/2014 at 2:18am / United States (Hawaii) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, at my wedding, my husband stood up to give a speech. It started out beautiful, until he told everyone how he started to fall in love with me after I blew him on our first date. FML

by Sue Ellen / 04/21/2014 at 11:43am / United States (Rhode Island) / Intimacy

Today, I realized how boring and sexually deprived my life is when I found a gas station ten cents cheaper than the one I usually use. It gave me both an asthma attack and an erection, simultaneously. FML

by the long distance guy / 04/08/2014 at 3:56am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, while driving, I saw a dog run across the road. Feeling sorry for the pup on a cold, rainy night, I pulled my car over to pick it up. Once in, it started freaking out so I turned on the light. It was then that I realized I'd just put a wild coyote on my passenger seat. FML

by molliciousj / 02/19/2014 at 12:09am / United States (Texas) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my girlfriend told me the reason why my credit card mysteriously maxed out 2 months ago 'might have been' because she posted a picture of it on Facebook. I ordered a new credit card without the custom picture of us immediately. She broke up with me. FML

by FacebookStrikesAgain / 01/21/2014 at 6:59pm / Puerto Rico / Love

Today, I watched my father attempt to light a cigar with the stove and end up burning off some hair and eyebrows. He tried to play it cool, said, "Haircuts are too expensive these days anyway." and walked out, his head smoking. This man is a college professor. FML

Today, I went to my bedroom for some alone time while my daughter watched TV. I didn't realize that my iPad was still connected to the Apple TV, until I hit play on some porn and heard a scream from the other room. FML

by ConfusedDad / 12/29/2013 at 2:01am / United States / Kids

Today, I read a seemingly serious article online about giving your smartphone some extra charge by putting it in the microwave for one minute. My phone is now fried. FML

by Anonymous / 09/02/2013 at 4:37pm / United States (Arkansas) / Miscellaneous