About Mornai : I enjoy reading the failures, mishaps and common misfortunes of life.
I've been here for years. My name's James, but call me whatever you want.
I am a calm and kind person, and it takes an extreme effort to anger me.
I am afraid of heights.
I am always in high spirits.
I am often told i look much younger than i truly am.
I am the person who would push on in a zombie apocalypse even if I'm the only one left alive.
I can't swim(efficiently). Because of that, i almost drowned in a pool once because the lifeguard was busy trying to be sexy. I haven't been in the water since...
I don't get sick often, but when i do it really sucks.
I may laugh if i see you fall, but I'll always be there to pull you up.
Message me if you want to, but I'm quite boring.
I'm sure there are many others here more worth your time.
“And if your friend does evil to you, say to him, 'I forgive you for what you did to me, but how can I forgive you for what you did to yourself?'”
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Judgmental
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Today, another of my dad's blind dates went bad, so I took him out for a beer. I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and when I came back, two guys were congratulating my dad on scoring such a hot piece of ass, and said the sex must be awesome. My dad played along with it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29111) - you deserved it (1790)
On 04/15/2012 at 2:43pm - intimacy - by jonasister (woman) - Sweden (Skane Lan)
Today, my girlfriend of 2 years texted me saying "I can't wait to f*ck later." I replied saying, "Couldn't we just spend time together?" Her response was, "What are you, a girl?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (13358) - you deserved it (34279)
On 04/12/2012 at 12:06am - intimacy - by girly (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I realized the reason my 20-year-old daughter has been so moody and aggressive is because she missed the promotional My Little Pony toys at McDonald's. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16312) - you deserved it (3428)
On 04/08/2012 at 2:55pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I was woken up by a call from "the Nuisance Call Prevention Registry". The lady on the telephone didn't see the irony. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15294) - you deserved it (1253)
On 04/04/2012 at 6:58am - misc - by Telemarket (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)
Today, I met separately with the President and Chairman of the company regarding a product that I'm designing. Each ordered me to do the opposite of whatever the other instructed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16037) - you deserved it (1433)
On 04/03/2012 at 11:10am - work - by beagle1 (man) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I dislocated my elbow chasing my cat around the hardwood floors of my house in knee-high socks and wiping out going around a corner. The doctors suggested that I not tell people how it happened. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8084) - you deserved it (10829)
On 03/28/2012 at 8:00am - health - by hikari_chan_xo - United States (Michigan)
Today, I went to see a dinosaur exhibition with my mum. We walked around and saw a huge dinosaur, made of plastic and rubber. She was very disappointed, saying that she thought there would be real live dinosaurs for us to see. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20122) - you deserved it (1568)
On 03/19/2012 at 7:43pm - animals - by bibi (woman) - Slovenia (Bohinj)
Today, I told my daughter that she should put some love into her cooking. She started kissing the ingredients. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14161) - you deserved it (10553)
On 03/19/2012 at 12:59am - kids - by FoodyFood (woman) - Australia (South Australia)
Today, I was chatting to a nice girl at the mall, and I said if she didn't get a raise, I would write to the management. She said they have no email address, and I replied that I meant an actual letter. "Like, on paper?" she said, "Damn, how old are ya, pops?" I want a ticket off this planet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19432) - you deserved it (2155)
On 03/14/2012 at 11:17am - misc - by S. Michaels (man) - United States
Today, my girlfriend and I agreed to tell her parents that she's pregnant. When they started freaking out, instead of dealing with the situation maturely, she went into straight-up Tard Mode and said, "It's okay, I'm not the mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21462) - you deserved it (4323)
On 03/12/2012 at 12:27pm - love - by yamsterr (man) - United States
Today, in the locker room at work, someone tried writing "douche bag" on my locker, and misspelled it four times before apparently giving up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17072) - you deserved it (1522)
On 03/11/2012 at 1:39am - work - by The Last One (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was time to lose our virginity. After our clothes were removed, we spent 30 minutes trying to figure out how to actually have sex, and eventually gave up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17915) - you deserved it (38262)
On 03/10/2012 at 2:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I asked my boss for a raise. He gave me a cupcake. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16362) - you deserved it (2371)
On 03/07/2012 at 8:08pm - work - by Janitor (woman) - United States (Utah)
Today, in bio class, we were studying the reproductive system. I don't like talking about this stuff, and I twitched every time my teacher said "penis" or "vagina." When I told my family, they laughed and kept repeating those words just to see me twitch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7449) - you deserved it (21788)
On 02/28/2012 at 4:03pm - misc - by itshilarious - United States (New York)
Today, an African-American family came into the restaurant at which I work. They said, "Jackson, party of 5." After I laughed, I realized they were serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13978) - you deserved it (20612)
On 02/26/2012 at 10:31am - work - by Miss_Kristen - United States (Missouri)
Monday 17 June 2013
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