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About Mornai : I enjoy reading the failures, mishaps and common misfortunes of life.
I've been here for years. My name's James, but call me whatever you want.
I am a calm and kind person, and it takes an extreme effort to anger me.
I am afraid of heights.
I am always in high spirits.
I am often told i look much younger than i truly am.
I am the person who would push on in a zombie apocalypse even if I'm the only one left alive.
I can't swim(efficiently). Because of that, i almost drowned in a pool once because the lifeguard was busy trying to be sexy. I haven't been in the water since...
I don't get sick often, but when i do it really sucks.
I may laugh if i see you fall, but I'll always be there to pull you up.
Message me if you want to, but I'm quite boring.
I'm sure there are many others here more worth your time.
“And if your friend does evil to you, say to him, 'I forgive you for what you did to me, but how can I forgive you for what you did to yourself?'”
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Today, while at the grocery store, I saw my mother. I thought it would be funny to scare her by sneaking up and grabbing her ass. Not only was it not my mom, I left the place with a ban from ever returning to that store. FML
Today, I had a chat with my husband, and I convinced him to try being more spontaneous to spice up our sex life. This evening, he burst into our bedroom with an eyepatch on, and "seductively" growled, "I'm gonna slay your pussy, wench." FML
Today, I discovered how pathetically introverted I am when during a car ride with my family, I said, "I really like this song" and my parents gasped because they didn't realize I was in the back seat. And I'm their only child. FML
Today, after waking up, I went into the kitchen and took a swig of milk from the carton. I overestimated my strength, and the whole thing splashed all over my face. A few moments later, my dad staggered in, looked at me in disgust, and said, "You know what? I don't even wanna know." FML
Today, I cleaned the toilet so vigorously that I snapped the handle of the brush. I laughed and told the rest of my family. Instead of joining in on the hilarity, my mother screamed, "We have had that toilet brush for twenty-six years!" FML