About Mornai : I enjoy reading the failures, mishaps and common misfortunes of life.
I've been here for years. My name's James, but call me whatever you want.
I am a calm and kind person, and it takes an extreme effort to anger me.
I am afraid of heights.
I am always in high spirits.
I am often told i look much younger than i truly am.
I am the person who would push on in a zombie apocalypse even if I'm the only one left alive.
I can't swim(efficiently). Because of that, i almost drowned in a pool once because the lifeguard was busy trying to be sexy. I haven't been in the water since...
I don't get sick often, but when i do it really sucks.
I may laugh if i see you fall, but I'll always be there to pull you up.
Message me if you want to, but I'm quite boring.
I'm sure there are many others here more worth your time.
“And if your friend does evil to you, say to him, 'I forgive you for what you did to me, but how can I forgive you for what you did to yourself?'”
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Judgmental
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Today, it was raining heavily so I wore my black poncho as I walked to work. On the way there I noticed an old and seemingly homeless man following me. I turned around to confront him. He picked up a stick and screamed "Expecto Patronum!" Apparently I look like a dementor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26062) - you deserved it (5128)
On 03/24/2013 at 8:23pm - misc - by Anna L. - United States (Texas)
Today, I was feeling sick and fainted while teaching my kindergarten class. I came to when one boy poured a cup of water on my face. Three kids were crying into my walkie talkie telling the office I was dead, and the rest of the class had disappeared. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37694) - you deserved it (2813)
On 03/23/2013 at 9:25am - kids - by kindergarten teacher - United States (California)
Today, I lost my dog and so I put up 'lost' signs. As I was coming back home I noticed one had been written on. It said: "Found your dog. Keeping it". FML
I agree, your life sucks (41767) - you deserved it (1960)
On 03/23/2013 at 7:43am - animals - by Hurrikhan - New Zealand (Canterbury)
Today, a guy left flowers on my doorstep. I got home to find my dad claiming he bought them for my mum. I told my parents they were mine, they laughed in my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27766) - you deserved it (1916)
On 03/20/2013 at 6:59am - love - by lp525252 (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I found out that my gorgeous, smart, perfect new boyfriend has an unusual fetish. It doesn't involve me at all actually. Just a Labrador. This is probably a deal breaker. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34522) - you deserved it (2470)
On 03/19/2013 at 7:30am - intimacy - by soontobesingle (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, it was my first time with my boyfriend, at his house, in his Dora the Explorer sheets. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30547) - you deserved it (6111) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 03/18/2013 at 6:34pm - love - by inconnue - France (Rhone-Alpes)
Today, my parents asked me if I was sexually active. My grandma then screamed from upstairs, "She's not even physically active!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (37880) - you deserved it (9468)
On 03/18/2013 at 4:59am - intimacy - by Susan (woman) - Ireland
Today, my boyfriend got angry and threatened to dump me, all because I wouldn't give in to his demands not to go to a birthday sleepover with my friends. He seriously thinks it's going to turn into some kind of lesbian orgy and that I'll cheat on him. Thanks, PornHub. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41046) - you deserved it (5535)
On 03/14/2013 at 11:43am - intimacy - by wow (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, after my 5-year-old finally got over his grandmother's death, we went to a store and saw a lady that looked exactly like her. She came up to us asking if we saw her grandson; I can't get my son to stop freaking out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30363) - you deserved it (1250)
On 03/07/2013 at 8:55pm - kids - by Maxie - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was taking a patient's blood pressure, and listening for his pulse with my stethoscope. I couldn't hear anything, so I adjusted the cuff and tried again. Still no pulse. He pointed out that my stethoscope was the wrong way around and sneered, "You been smokin' the reefer, boy?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (10546) - you deserved it (22912)
On 03/07/2013 at 7:35pm - work - by no sir I have not (man) - United States
Today, I went to my daughter's room with clean laundry. I found her lying on her bed with a hand down her pants, totally zoned out and staring blankly at the Justin Bieber poster on her wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38267) - you deserved it (4761)
On 03/03/2013 at 12:03pm - misc - by parental failure (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I told my mom that I heard something, and I think we have rats in the attic and should hire an exterminator. She looked at me and said, "Rats, huh? That's what the mom in The Exorcist thought, but it turned out to be the devil living up there." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26429) - you deserved it (2799)
On 03/02/2013 at 11:18pm - misc - by jkbeynon - United States (California)
Today, my wife packed my lunch. Inside of my lunchbox was a photo of her eating my sandwiches. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30785) - you deserved it (6206)
On 03/01/2013 at 2:18am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, a wasp knocked me out, broke my glasses, and left a gash over my eyebrow. It did so by flying under my glasses while I was playing my guitar, causing me to reflexively bat at it with the hand that was still grasping the guitar neck. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19522) - you deserved it (4794) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 02/28/2013 at 8:55pm - health - by JimiHendrix (man) - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)
Today, I was sitting on the chair-lift on a ski trip. There was a shift in gears and the metal in the seat began to vibrate. My dad, sister, and step-mom were all on the lift with me, not feeling a thing. It's terribly awkward to converse with your family while you involuntarily orgasm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34044) - you deserved it (4479)
On 02/26/2013 at 10:00pm - intimacy - by Frostbitten (woman) - United States (Maine)
Monday 17 June 2013
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