Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Mordeci

Online | Search for a member

Mordeci

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 183
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Mordeci's page activity

Visits<b>meepmerp</b> - the 08/29/2013 at 9:26am

Mordeci's FML badges

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of Mordeci's badges

Mordeci's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom talked to me and my brother about how great it was that our cousin was getting away from drugs and becoming sober, as he would have so many more opportunities opened up for him now. She explained all this while sitting on our patio, smoking a blunt. FML

#21287196
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26857) - you deserved it (2796)

On 10/28/2014 at 7:54pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I lost my laptop, but I have my old childhood computer to use. It's password-protected, and the hint to the password is "meaner than Hera." I haven't been into Greek mythology since I was a kid, and if anything, this computer has just shown me how dumb I've gotten over the years. FML

#21282844
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28806) - you deserved it (5361)

On 10/21/2014 at 11:36pm - misc - by HeckIfIKnow (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was skating in the city when I slipped and fractured my arm. As I was lying in pain, a guy walked up to me, frisked my pocket and took my wallet. He then said: "It's nothing personal." FML

#21281599
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36220) - you deserved it (2916)

On 10/20/2014 at 4:50am - misc - by ColdStones (man) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, I caught my 15-year-old son trying to roll catnip into a joint and smoke it. FML

#21281464
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30753) - you deserved it (4017)

On 10/19/2014 at 11:48pm - kids - by Bad Dad - United States (Colorado)

Today, my insomnia wins. I'm too wired and awake to sleep, but too stoned on my sleeping pills to get up and do something productive. FML

#21267554
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32035) - you deserved it (4006)

On 09/29/2014 at 8:06am - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I got high for the first time. Apparently I called my vet and told him my goldfish was barking. I found out when he called me back later to make sure we were both okay. FML

#21258033
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31621) - you deserved it (18203)

On 09/14/2014 at 12:38pm - animals - by Anonymous - Ghana (Greater Accra)

Today, I tried to pull the old "bucket of water above the door" prank on my brother, but the bucket didn't fall when he opened the door. He noticed it, took it down, then pinned me to the floor and waterboarded me with the ice-cold water. FML

#21252533
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15596) - you deserved it (36015)

On 09/05/2014 at 5:37pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Vasterbottens Lan)

Today, my wife has a bruise on her cheek from a nasty trip while practicing her yoga. She now thinks it's hilarious to flinch in public when I get near her, and keeps telling people she "walked into a door". I've gotten more dirty looks than I can count. FML

#21192543
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59856) - you deserved it (4621)

On 06/29/2014 at 1:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I gave my daughter the sex talk. Barely 10 minutes later, her public Facebook status read: "My mom's a total pedo." and after she mentioned the talk, her friend posted, "That's sexual harassment. You can sue for that." Clearly I've failed as a parent. FML

#20840603
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50774) - you deserved it (5602)

On 08/16/2013 at 5:05pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was teaching my daughter how to drive. We were passing by a merge lane; I told her to slow down and let a green car merge in front of us. She said, "Fuck the green car" and sped up, colliding with it. Apparently she didn't know that would happen. FML

#20783255
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50875) - you deserved it (6469)

On 07/14/2013 at 11:40pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my family flew out to surprise my grandma for her 70th birthday. When we arrived, she and my grandpa were both sitting on the couch, high, smoking a joint. FML

#20649343
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49231) - you deserved it (11055)

On 05/08/2013 at 2:59am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while he was eating chicken, one of my friends asked me why I'm a vegetarian. I responded that I believe in animal rights and don't like the conditions the animals are forced to live in. He looked at me incredulously before explaining that "chickens aren't animals, they're birds." FML

Today, I held hands with the boy I like. Without thinking, I commented that his right hand is softer, as if he only used lotion on that one hand. And then we stood there in terribly awkward silence. FML

#20541635
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41803) - you deserved it (15700)

On 03/13/2013 at 12:57am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I came home in a really good mood, and I greeted my husband with a grin and a "Hi, babe!" He just muttered, "Why can't you just DIE?" and continued playing his video game. FML

#20490556
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38255) - you deserved it (4958)

On 02/02/2013 at 5:34pm - love - by rani (woman) - Norway (Oslo)

Today, I met with my Bolivian friend, who's vacationing here for a few weeks. Eager to show him how welcoming we are in the USA, I took him home and introduced him to my parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "Bolivia? That's in Europe, right? We saved your asses in World War 2." FML

#20477083
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28279) - you deserved it (3515)

On 01/24/2013 at 8:13pm - misc - by oh ffs (man) - United States



FML's blog

  • On FML, it's Halloween every day
  • As you know, we never pass up the chance to open up a light beer and plunge into the depths of the FML archive to come up with some sort of theme. Most holidays, national or otherwise, are pretty well represented.…

Friday 31 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: