Moonditch

Search for a member

Offline (4 hours ago)

Moonditch

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 901
  • Number of comments : 19
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Moonditch : I love reading, science...and PURPLE :P

Moonditch's page activity

Visits<b>agostina_mc</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 9:10pm<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 12/08/2015 at 5:03am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 10/03/2015 at 8:49pm<b>beeferjay</b> - the 09/27/2015 at 12:51am<b>weirdncrazy</b> - the 09/26/2015 at 10:41pm<b>lostandconfused9</b> - the 09/26/2015 at 8:26pm<b>sheeshadevil</b> - the 09/26/2015 at 6:52pm<b>Aubs3993</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 1:43pm<b>seenoevil818</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 12:01pm<b>itssnotfunny</b> - the 08/11/2015 at 8:13pm<b>khoov19</b> - the 08/11/2015 at 12:38pm<b>Jazz1232</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 12:12am<b>CandyPewPewPew</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 2:00pm<b>sturschaedel</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 1:58pm<b>NickEd</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 1:31pm<b>knightofdarkness</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 11:22pm<b>mete_orito</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 12:50am<b>stuckintime</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 7:01pm

Fucked!<b>yolo_swagxD</b> - the 01/16/2015 at 12:23am

Moonditch's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of Moonditch's badges

Moonditch's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked into my house and saw it was flooded. I went upstairs to the bathroom to see the toilet overflowing and my boyfriend holding my dog over it so he could drink it. My boyfriend said he didn't know what else to do. FML

by anonymous / 10/16/2014 at 4:53pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was sitting on a bench at the local park, eating a banana. A guy old enough to be my grandfather walked by, turned to look at me, then said "Young man, I wish I were that banana." He walked away, and I almost blacked out choking on it in shock. FML

by Operation Yewtree here I come / 09/26/2014 at 4:40pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went deep-sea fishing with my friends. I told them my new phone case is waterproof, and I showed them by pouring a bit of water on it. My friend decided to throw it in the water for a better example. The case didn't float. FML

by HiImAlfredo / 09/14/2014 at 2:47pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Geek

Today, I got high for the first time. Apparently I called my vet and told him my goldfish was barking. I found out when he called me back later to make sure we were both okay. FML

by Anonymous / 09/14/2014 at 12:38pm / Ghana (Greater Accra) / Animals

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend with a ring from Kay Jewelers. She saw the box, started giggling, whispered, "'Kay", and then started laughing so hard at her joke she had to excuse herself. FML

by very punny / 09/02/2014 at 11:18pm / United States (Maryland) / Love

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She just grabbed the ring and said in a raspy voice, "My precious..." FML

by anonymous / 09/02/2014 at 2:58pm / United States (Connecticut) / Love

Today, my goat decided my hairstyle was so last season and restyled it for me with his teeth. FML

by the3goatlady / 09/01/2014 at 12:22pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I didn't pay enough attention while sending a music file to be used in a powerful video my class-mates and I made about the Syrian civil war. Instead of a moving classical track, viewers were shown graphic scenes of devastation to the tune of Gangnam Style. FML

by Mortifiedcharityworker / 05/01/2014 at 4:10pm / Austria / Work

Today, I was chatting with my mother. She was telling me about some new mouthwash she recently got, and the moment the word "gargle" escaped her lips, my husband muttered just a little too loudly from the kitchen, "How about gargling my balls instead, bitch." Our family is now at war. FML

by Anonymous / 12/08/2013 at 3:39pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my grandmother opened the bathroom door to find me eating a spoonful of Nutella while on the toilet. She is convinced that I was eating my own shit and will not stop telling everybody. They believe her. FML

by Anonymous / 09/15/2013 at 5:16pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, my wackjob roommate decided to sit next to me on the couch, basically make out with her pet rabbit, and baby-talk to it. Key highlights involved giggling while the bunny licked up inside her nose and then commenting on the rabbit's "pronounced nipples". Why? FML

by Jade / 08/21/2013 at 8:09pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I got a call from my son's kindergarten teacher. Apparently my son asked a girl to marry him. After she said no, he stabbed her with a fork. FML

by Anonymous / 08/10/2013 at 12:02am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, my husband was chased out of a bar after he was seen slipping something into a woman's drink. I was the woman, the 'something' was aspirin, and that's the last time we ever try to role-play. FML

by Anonymous / 07/23/2013 at 12:48am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I finally convinced my mom to read Fight Club. As English isn't her first language, she occasionally asked me to translate some of the words. Her latest question: "What's a dildo?" FML

by joeidk / 05/11/2013 at 8:07pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I held hands with the boy I like. Without thinking, I commented that his right hand is softer, as if he only used lotion on that one hand. And then we stood there in terribly awkward silence. FML

by Anonymous / 03/13/2013 at 12:57am / United States (Missouri) / Love