Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Monster27

Offline (yesterday at 5:31pm) | Search for a member

Monster27

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2092
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Monster27's page activity

Visits<b>SaharaZinc</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 11:15pm<b>killjoys_forever</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 11:33am<b>beamdaddy48</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 3:26pm<b>WillowB47</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 1:28am<b>elgallero</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 11:45pm<b>PerSueTwo513</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 2:44pm<b>AlwaysWatching</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 9:54pm<b>TheKingKen</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 11:20am<b>umerin</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 2:42am<b>cassieperiodbee</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 1:11am<b>illegalbeagle69</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 12:26pm<b>AwThatsCold</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 10:11am<b>liss569</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 2:54pm<b>its_bree</b> - the 04/25/2014 at 11:04am<b>TheCrispyCat</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 11:17am<b>LuluRichards</b> - the 04/16/2014 at 5:08am<b>Cherryta</b> - the 04/13/2014 at 4:30pm<b>xAttackAttackx</b> - the 03/13/2014 at 2:14am

Monster27's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of Monster27's badges

Monster27's favorite FMLs

Today, my five-year-old daughter asked me why moms don't swallow clothes, so that their babies won't be born naked. My husband burst into derisive laughter, and has now trained her into responding to the name "Derp-Derp." FML

#20071956
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23998) - you deserved it (2788)

On 09/14/2012 at 7:06pm - kids - by -___- (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I walked in on my mother rubbing one out. For the third time. I then had to explain to her, also for the third time, why pleasuring herself in the living room is inappropriate. FML

#20071176
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35951) - you deserved it (2279)

On 09/14/2012 at 1:28am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, after having a long talk with my mother about gays, she told me that she was totally open. I felt completely relieved, being gay myself. Seconds later, she said, "But not for you. I want you to find me a nice girl that can give me lots of grand kids." FML

#20070762
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26073) - you deserved it (4582)

On 09/13/2012 at 8:57pm - misc - by EvilMother (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It would have been a lot sexier had our chihuahua not decided to rim his ass as he thrust into me, causing him to break out into a case of the giggles. FML

#20069788
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23435) - you deserved it (4712)

On 09/13/2012 at 1:30am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It would have been a lot sexier had our chihuahua not decided to rim his ass as he thrust into me, causing him to break out into a case of the giggles. FML

#20069788
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23435) - you deserved it (4712)

On 09/13/2012 at 1:30am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was giving my boyfriend head on the living room couch. Apparently his two cats didn't approve, and they started attacking my face. Luckily for him, since my boyfriend was holding my head down, his privates didn't get a scratch. FML

#20022569
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26111) - you deserved it (4866)

On 08/15/2012 at 1:15pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, out of habit, after scratching my balls, I then smelt my hand. It was at that moment I realized most of my gym was staring at me. FML

#20009342
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5816) - you deserved it (43833)

On 08/08/2012 at 10:00am - misc - by FutureMarine3658 - United States (Utah)

Today, I came out to my parents. I don't really fit any stereotype, I'm just an average guy who happens to be into guys. Ten minutes later, I overheard my mother say to my step-dad, "Should we redecorate his room pink?" FML

#20008307
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26939) - you deserved it (5659)

On 08/07/2012 at 8:11pm - misc - by ohai95 (man) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, I came out to my parents. I don't really fit any stereotype, I'm just an average guy who happens to be into guys. Ten minutes later, I overheard my mother say to my step-dad, "Should we redecorate his room pink?" FML

#20008307
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26939) - you deserved it (5659)

On 08/07/2012 at 8:11pm - misc - by ohai95 (man) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, I went to my favorite burger joint. Upon taking the first bite of my burger, I dislocated my jaw, and the waiters had to call 911. FML

#19990108
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21108) - you deserved it (2287)

On 07/29/2012 at 1:15am - health - by cherknobil (man) - United States (California)

Today, at work in a nursing home, I had to kill imaginary dogs in the lunch room, because they were evil and trying to eat everyone. This started with just one person seeing them, to all 30 of them screaming and freaking out. I spent 45 minutes killing imaginary dogs. FML

#19983789
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26937) - you deserved it (2085)

On 07/25/2012 at 5:05pm - work - by justlittleoldme - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I went on a fifth date with a guy, and he asked me if we could be boyfriend and girlfriend. Just after I said yes, he pulled out a contract and asked me to sign on the dotted line. FML

#19983177
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27258) - you deserved it (3045)

On 07/25/2012 at 9:03am - love - by Unlucky (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I was with my grandma in my new car. She suddenly says, "I've got to pee bad." Without giving me enough time to find a gas station, she blurts out, "Never mind, I just did." FML

#19982859
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24498) - you deserved it (1614)

On 07/25/2012 at 2:10am - misc - by arw - United States

Today, I went to my local coffee shop. I soon witnessed the girl making my drink apparently dislodge a wedgie from her ass-crack and then sneeze into her hands. When I confronted her, she loudly accused me of "visually molesting" her. FML

#19974801
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23383) - you deserved it (1894)

On 07/22/2012 at 12:48pm - misc - by bitchimgay (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I told my boyfriend I wanted to spice up our sex life. He suggested incorporating bacon. He was serious. FML

#19959638
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23919) - you deserved it (5459)

On 07/19/2012 at 4:29pm - intimacy - by cortanaisahobot - Canada (Ontario)



FML's blog

  • Matteor's illustrated FML #2
  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: