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Monster27

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Monster27
  • Town/Country : Phoenix, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1203
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Monster27's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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Monster27's favorite FMLs

Today, at work in a nursing home, I had to kill imaginary dogs in the lunch room, because they were evil and trying to eat everyone. This started with just one person seeing them, to all 30 of them screaming and freaking out. I spent 45 minutes killing imaginary dogs. FML

#19983789
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24465) - you deserved it (1862)

On 07/25/2012 at 5:05pm - work - by justlittleoldme - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I went on a fifth date with a guy, and he asked me if we could be boyfriend and girlfriend. Just after I said yes, he pulled out a contract and asked me to sign on the dotted line. FML

#19983177
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25481) - you deserved it (2866)

On 07/25/2012 at 9:03am - love - by Unlucky (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I was with my grandma in my new car. She suddenly says, "I've got to pee bad." Without giving me enough time to find a gas station, she blurts out, "Never mind, I just did." FML

#19982859
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22775) - you deserved it (1489)

On 07/25/2012 at 2:10am - misc - by arw - United States

Today, I went to my local coffee shop. I soon witnessed the girl making my drink apparently dislodge a wedgie from her ass-crack and then sneeze into her hands. When I confronted her, she loudly accused me of "visually molesting" her. FML

#19974801
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18908) - you deserved it (1362)

On 07/22/2012 at 12:48pm - misc - by bitchimgay (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I told my boyfriend I wanted to spice up our sex life. He suggested incorporating bacon. He was serious. FML

#19959638
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18318) - you deserved it (4030)

On 07/19/2012 at 4:29pm - intimacy - by cortanaisahobot - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was having sex with the guy I've been in love with for years. I moaned, "say my name." He didn't know it. FML

#19873262
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30250) - you deserved it (9497)

On 06/30/2012 at 9:35pm - intimacy - by say my name -

Today, I learned that I do not possess the upper body, core, or leg strength to hold my girlfriend up during sex. I simultaneously collapsed and dropped her onto her coffee table. We are now both being treated at the hospital; her for glass wounds, me for a concussion. FML

#19864989
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11063) - you deserved it (18896)

On 06/29/2012 at 4:47am - intimacy - by bob (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was so out of it from a lack of sleep and an accidental antihistamine overdose, I tried to offer my cat a cup of tea, and actually got pissed off when he didn't reply. It took me a good five minutes to understand what just happened. FML

#19817936
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20011) - you deserved it (5500)

On 06/20/2012 at 10:09am - animals - by anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML

#19793582
398 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35078) - you deserved it (3816)

On 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm - misc - by 16590 (man) - Sweden

Today, I was having sex with my wife, when she fell asleep. She then woke up and started moaning, clearly faking an orgasm. FML

#19784539
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25867) - you deserved it (6327)

On 06/13/2012 at 10:21pm - intimacy - by biggieT - Sri Lanka (Western)

Today, my grandmother saw me for the first time in years. "Not all your clothes have to be as tight as condoms, you tramp," is probably the nicest greeting she's ever given me. FML

#19775546
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25401) - you deserved it (7857)

On 06/12/2012 at 7:58am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Maine)

Today, I pulled a neck muscle while head-banging. I wasn't at a concert, and I'm not in a heavy metal band, but I do pretend that I am while I'm in the shower. FML

#19744443
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8063) - you deserved it (17634)

On 06/06/2012 at 2:21pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after having sex with my girlfriend, I jokingly held the condom above my mouth. Somehow, the condom busted, and everything went over my face. Worse still, we're now wondering just how safe this condom really was. FML

#19743887
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12256) - you deserved it (34267)

On 06/06/2012 at 12:02pm - intimacy - by Rob (man) - United States (Illinois)



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