Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Monster27

Online | Search for a member

Monster27

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4885
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Monster27's page activity

Visits<b>mds9986</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 12:45pm<b>photographer49</b> - the 01/19/2015 at 5:15pm<b>rareawesomeness</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 12:24am<b>BeastlyNoob9696</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 8:43pm<b>jsjelly07</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 11:23pm<b>melbear772</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 9:37pm<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 5:35pm<b>SaharaZinc</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 11:15pm<b>killjoys_forever</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 11:33am<b>beamdaddy48</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 3:26pm<b>WillowB47</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 1:28am<b>elgallero</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 11:45pm<b>PerSueTwo513</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 2:44pm<b>AlwaysWatching</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 9:54pm<b>TheKingKen</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 11:20am<b>umerin</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 2:42am<b>cassieperiodbee</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 1:11am<b>illegalbeagle69</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 12:26pm

Fucked!<b>mds9986</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 6:46pm

Monster27's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

See all of Monster27's badges

Monster27's favorite FMLs

Today, I had my first wet dream. I woke up sweating and soaking wet. Too bad I dreamed about having intense sex with a cardboard box. FML

#20813339
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53774) - you deserved it (8537)

On 07/31/2013 at 12:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Belgium (West-Vlaanderen)

Today, I went out and met somebody. We got talking and we both realized we are each the ideal romantic partner for the other. The only problem is we are both straight men. FML

#20809215
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51471) - you deserved it (7593)

On 07/29/2013 at 2:35am - love - by confusedmofo - Indonesia

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Instead of moaning like any normal person, he just kept saying stuff like "uh-huh," "not too bad," and "yup" in a complete monotone. It was probably the most uncomfortable experience of my life. FML

#20804720
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65334) - you deserved it (6613)

On 07/26/2013 at 2:00pm - intimacy - by awkward (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my friends took my work laptop and changed the sounds. Now, whenever I remove a USB device, a woman's voice screams "Put it back!" and when I insert a USB device, it says "Oh, you need to push it in harder!" I don't know how to change it back. FML

#20793994
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57182) - you deserved it (6603)

On 07/20/2013 at 11:45am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Delaware)

Today, as I was about to enter a public restroom, a man walked out and said, "You may want to hold your nose in there. I just took the biggest dump of my life." It was the ladies' restroom. FML

#20785565
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47307) - you deserved it (3157)

On 07/16/2013 at 12:41am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, while lifeguarding at my local beach, I noticed someone having difficulty swimming back to shore. I ran out and swam him back to shore. Once we were on dry land, he cussed me out for "emasculating" him in front of his girlfriend. FML

Today, I was eating a corndog, when my boyfriend jokingly told me to "take it deeper". I did, and ended up choking and throwing up all over the table. FML

#20775966
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27202) - you deserved it (51236)

On 07/11/2013 at 1:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my 13-year-old daughter and I went to a tropical themed restaurant. She wanted a strawberry Daiquiri, so I asked the waitress for a virgin strawberry Daiquiri. My daughter then said, "But dad, I'm not a virgin." FML

#20775827
338 comments

I agree, your life sucks (100383) - you deserved it (11706)

On 07/11/2013 at 10:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was at another long swim-meet, when my daughter shaved 15 seconds off her record swim time. When I asked her how she did it, she replied, "Well someone told me to swim as fast as I can." She's just been taking her time all these years. FML

#20759731
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47920) - you deserved it (5060)

On 07/02/2013 at 12:25pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Vermont)

Today, I returned home from a month long trip overseas to find that my bird sitter has trained my parrot to whisper, "You're going to die" in a sinister voice. FML

#20731669
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49491) - you deserved it (6482)

On 06/17/2013 at 4:07pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after years of faking pleasure with my boyfriend, I visited the gynaecologist. As soon as she touched my privates I instinctively let out a fake moan. FML

#20720590
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36510) - you deserved it (74059)

On 06/11/2013 at 11:06pm - intimacy - by instinct (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my husband farted, grabbed a fan and blew the smell right at me. Disgusted, I reminded him that I’m a lady, not a dude. He burst out laughing and sang, "Dude looks like a lady." FML

#20716353
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39790) - you deserved it (7217)

On 06/09/2013 at 9:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I saw mice eating from my cat's food dish, again. Where is my cat? He's busy bringing in more mice, birds, and once even an unharmed chipmunk through his cat door. FML

Today, I was sending intimate pictures to my girlfriend and accidentally sent one to my best friend. He sent me one back. FML

#20690661
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56217) - you deserved it (33025)

On 05/28/2013 at 1:44am - intimacy - by Abrams52 (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my grandma's chihuahua was run over while I was taking her for a walk. She later whispered to me, "It should have been you." FML

#20690610
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58918) - you deserved it (7615)

On 05/28/2013 at 1:05am - animals - by Anonymous - United States



FML's blog

  • Feeling shitty? Write to Auntie Bernie!
  • It's a new summer, so here's a new feature. OK, that doesn't mean much, but you've got to start somewhere. The idea came from the fact that we get sent a lot of FMLs that touch us, in our heart of…

Friday 24 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: