Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Monster27

Offline (14 hours ago) | Search for a member

Monster27

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2088
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Monster27's page activity

Visits<b>SaharaZinc</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 11:15pm<b>killjoys_forever</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 11:33am<b>beamdaddy48</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 3:26pm<b>WillowB47</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 1:28am<b>elgallero</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 11:45pm<b>PerSueTwo513</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 2:44pm<b>AlwaysWatching</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 9:54pm<b>TheKingKen</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 11:20am<b>umerin</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 2:42am<b>cassieperiodbee</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 1:11am<b>illegalbeagle69</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 12:26pm<b>AwThatsCold</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 10:11am<b>liss569</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 2:54pm<b>its_bree</b> - the 04/25/2014 at 11:04am<b>TheCrispyCat</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 11:17am<b>LuluRichards</b> - the 04/16/2014 at 5:08am<b>Cherryta</b> - the 04/13/2014 at 4:30pm<b>xAttackAttackx</b> - the 03/13/2014 at 2:14am

Monster27's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of Monster27's badges

Monster27's favorite FMLs

Today, as I was about to enter a public restroom, a man walked out and said, "You may want to hold your nose in there. I just took the biggest dump of my life." It was the ladies' restroom. FML

#20785565
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45080) - you deserved it (2981)

On 07/16/2013 at 12:41am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, while lifeguarding at my local beach, I noticed someone having difficulty swimming back to shore. I ran out and swam him back to shore. Once we were on dry land, he cussed me out for "emasculating" him in front of his girlfriend. FML

Today, I was eating a corndog, when my boyfriend jokingly told me to "take it deeper". I did, and ended up choking and throwing up all over the table. FML

#20775966
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26006) - you deserved it (49143)

On 07/11/2013 at 1:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my 13-year-old daughter and I went to a tropical themed restaurant. She wanted a strawberry Daiquiri, so I asked the waitress for a virgin strawberry Daiquiri. My daughter then said, "But dad, I'm not a virgin." FML

#20775827
337 comments

I agree, your life sucks (98095) - you deserved it (11360)

On 07/11/2013 at 10:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was at another long swim-meet, when my daughter shaved 15 seconds off her record swim time. When I asked her how she did it, she replied, "Well someone told me to swim as fast as I can." She's just been taking her time all these years. FML

#20759731
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47580) - you deserved it (5030)

On 07/02/2013 at 12:25pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Vermont)

Today, I returned home from a month long trip overseas to find that my bird sitter has trained my parrot to whisper, "You're going to die" in a sinister voice. FML

#20731669
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49194) - you deserved it (6451)

On 06/17/2013 at 4:07pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after years of faking pleasure with my boyfriend, I visited the gynaecologist. As soon as she touched my privates I instinctively let out a fake moan. FML

#20720590
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34751) - you deserved it (71524)

On 06/11/2013 at 11:06pm - intimacy - by instinct (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my husband farted, grabbed a fan and blew the smell right at me. Disgusted, I reminded him that I’m a lady, not a dude. He burst out laughing and sang, "Dude looks like a lady." FML

#20716353
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39521) - you deserved it (7184)

On 06/09/2013 at 9:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I saw mice eating from my cat's food dish, again. Where is my cat? He's busy bringing in more mice, birds, and once even an unharmed chipmunk through his cat door. FML

Today, I was sending intimate pictures to my girlfriend and accidentally sent one to my best friend. He sent me one back. FML

#20690661
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55852) - you deserved it (32858)

On 05/28/2013 at 1:44am - intimacy - by Abrams52 (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my grandma's chihuahua was run over while I was taking her for a walk. She later whispered to me, "It should have been you." FML

#20690610
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56215) - you deserved it (7236)

On 05/28/2013 at 1:05am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was working at a place where if you're tipped, you sing. After a lady paid for her ice cream, she pulled out 5 dollars. Thinking it was a tip, I took it, and sang the song. She didn't mean to tip me. I was stopped by the woman slapping me. FML

#20690062
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41834) - you deserved it (13473)

On 05/27/2013 at 8:56pm - work - by anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had a customer tell me how much she regretted not aborting her expected child, how much she hates the father, and described to me in immense detail what it is like to pee while pregnant. All within the 30 seconds it took me to serve her. FML

#20684874
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42694) - you deserved it (2908)

On 05/25/2013 at 1:09am - work - by mmmretail (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was using a restroom with automatic sinks and toilets. I assumed the paper towel dispensers were automatic too. I stood there waving my hands like an idiot before a girl walked in, pulled a lever, and made paper towels come out for me. FML

#20682540
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19902) - you deserved it (35895)

On 05/23/2013 at 8:24pm - misc - by paper towel virgin - United States (Missouri)

Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk, except it wasn't really a talk, but rather him making me watch a hardcore porn video with him as he commented on what the actors were doing. I had to listen to all this and ignore his obvious erection for almost an hour. FML

#20660939
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77182) - you deserved it (5275)

On 05/13/2013 at 3:10pm - intimacy - by more than I wanted to know (man) - Italy (Emilia-Romagna)



FML's blog

  • Matteor's illustrated FML #2
  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: