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Monster27

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Monster27
  • Town/Country : Phoenix, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1227
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Monster27's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

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That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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Monster27's favorite FMLs

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my fingers got stuck between the wall and headboard. Screaming, he thought I was enjoying the sex and kept going even harder. I have 3 broken fingers. FML

#13418490
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43587) - you deserved it (7928)

On 10/12/2010 at 8:57am - intimacy - by fungettingdressed - United States

Today, I was at work and was confronted by a customer wanting to get a "Nemo" fish. I explained that 'Nemo' needs to live in saltwater, not freshwater, like their tank was. The customer then turns around and grabs a perforated tank divider and says, "Can't I just split them up with this?" FML

#12924795
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17758) - you deserved it (2555)

On 09/05/2010 at 11:01pm - work - by christiner - Sent from mobile version

Today, it was really hot in my house so I pulled my shorts down so I was just in my boxers. My family and I were watching tv and I got a spontaneous erection. When I discreetly tried to pull my shorts back up, my penis flipped out of my boxers. FML

#12792346
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33044) - you deserved it (22086)

On 08/28/2010 at 7:52pm - intimacy - by Sicko - Sent from mobile version

Today, I got bitch-slapped by a walrus at Sea Life Park. FML

#11841759
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36093) - you deserved it (9466)

On 07/13/2010 at 12:34am - misc - by Betchsadface - United States

Today, I was at a new shopping mall. After an hour, I desperately needed to use the bathroom. Spotting one, I ran inside, locked myself in a cubicle and relieved myself. The toilet paper was out so I knocked on the cubicle beside me to ask for some. A lady's voice answered. She needed some too. FML

#11825114
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27005) - you deserved it (4558)

On 07/12/2010 at 4:28am - misc - by Wrongtoilet (man) - Singapore

Today, after finally moving into a better neighborhood, my family and I were greeted by the elderly couple who live window to window to us. How? By hearing them have sex loudly and then praying for forgiveness even louder. Welcome to the neighborhood! FML

#10628803
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32995) - you deserved it (2873)

On 05/19/2010 at 3:20pm - intimacy - by GrossedOutKary (woman) - Puerto Rico

Today, I finally worked up the courage to talk to this hot guy in my law school contracts class. His response? "I'm no fashion expert, but I don't think you're supposed to wear purple underwear with white pants. Not that it matters, though, because your zipper is wide open." FML

#10604830
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13777) - you deserved it (30235)

On 05/18/2010 at 1:22am - love - by Dana422 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while in a public restroom, a man entered the stall next to me and began vigorously wanking. He finished quickly, but as he was leaving he peeped in at me through the crack in the stall door. FML

#8875274
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18815) - you deserved it (1658)

On 03/06/2010 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by ThoroughlyCreepedOut (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I got mauled by a cat named Mr. Sprinkles. FML

#7989901
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22884) - you deserved it (4996)

On 02/07/2010 at 10:19pm - animals - by zzdug (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend admitted that he'd like to dress me in a squirrel suit and chase me through the forest. This was the surprising result of a discussion on how to spice up our love life. FML

#7753235
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24231) - you deserved it (4062)

On 01/31/2010 at 7:24pm - love - by JK (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend admitted that he'd like to dress me in a squirrel suit and chase me through the forest. This was the surprising result of a discussion on how to spice up our love life. FML

#7753235
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24231) - you deserved it (4062)

On 01/31/2010 at 7:24pm - love - by JK (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend isn't gay. Apparently, I just give good head. FML

#7538814
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18983) - you deserved it (5779)

On 01/24/2010 at 3:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was watching Free Willy with my boyfriend. It was at the part where the boy leaned into the water to give Willy a hug. I asked, "How do you even hug a whale?" My boyfriend rolled over and gave me a hug, and said, "Like this." FML

#7165792
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34141) - you deserved it (12367)

On 01/05/2010 at 5:03pm - love - by leigh2812 - Sent from mobile version

Today, the girl that I have been secretly madly in love with for 6 years told me "fuck off and stop doing nice things for me." FML

#6980347
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26794) - you deserved it (8674)

On 12/27/2009 at 9:18pm - love - by anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)



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