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Offline (the 01/02/2015 at 4:20am) | Search for a member
About MonkeyKi : I tried to get a different username, but I couldn't get said username, so now I'm mad at the world. Pizza is good. College is hard for lazy people. Video games are fun. "Life is real," whatever that means.
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
Up and coming moderator
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Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, my husband and I decided to have a quickie before the kids woke up from their nap. The sex was amazing and I couldn't hold in my screams or not hit the wall. About 15 minutes in, both of our children came busting in with their nerf guns, screaming, "Where's the monster?" FML
Today, I was working as a cashier and a woman brought up a suitcase. As I was ringing her up I checked inside like I'm supposed to and I very jokingly say, "Look at all the stuff you're stealing." She laughed nervously then hit me in the head with her heavy purse before running out of the store. FML
Today, my dad and a construction worker were having a long talk. I heard the door slam, and assumed that this worker had left. So I yelled out "Hey dad what were you talking about? Did you talk slowly so the idiot could understand?" Turns out my dad was the one who had walked out. FML
Today, my parents gave me a shirt from Banana Republic for my birthday. It looked like one I had bought for myself a couple of days earlier but I thanked them and went to hang it in my closet. An empty hanger hung where I placed the shirt I had purchased. They gave me my shirt for my birthday. FML
Monday 30 November 2015