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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Monie_Madness

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Monie_Madness
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 722
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Monie_Madness : :D

Monie_Madness's last visitors

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Monie_Madness's favorite FMLs

Today, after visiting my mom, she stuffed a bunch of pads in my backpack so I'd have some at my dorm. When I was going through security, I was stopped and ended up missing my flight. Apparently the jumbo pads my mom sent look exactly like packs of cocaine when they go through the X-ray machine. FML

#6228123 (87)

I agree, your life sucks (21507) - you deserved it (1532)

On 11/09/2009 at 1:42pm - misc - by tampondealer (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I was at the mall, I saw a girl crying that her ice cream had fallen on the floor. Feeling generous, I bought her a new one. She threw it on the ground, laughed, and came over to her mom and told that I was bothering her, so the mom called security. FML

#6222787 (109)

I agree, your life sucks (27419) - you deserved it (3202)

On 11/09/2009 at 12:49am - misc - by miseventshappen - United States (California)

Today, I fell down a set of stairs while going into my basement. With a horrible pain in my left leg, I called out to my boyfriend to help me. Apparently a commercial about grass was more important. FML

#6215205 (65)

I agree, your life sucks (19705) - you deserved it (2408)

On 11/08/2009 at 5:38pm - health - by Elizabeh (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I was at a petting zoo with my boyfriend. A guy that worked there said he'd take a picture of me with a mouse on my head. He reassured me that this mouse was trained. I agreed. Once the mouse got on my head, it peed. Turns out the guy didn't work there after all. FML

#6212555 (69)

I agree, your life sucks (18708) - you deserved it (10125)

On 11/08/2009 at 2:14pm - health - by Poopyhead (woman) - Ireland (Cork)

Today, I ran into a bird. Not with my car, with my face. It was so scared, it crapped all over me. FML

#6207441 (52)

I agree, your life sucks (23404) - you deserved it (2191)

On 11/08/2009 at 2:26am - animals - by birdbath (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, someone at work was bragging that their son was high school valedictorian and offered a full college scholarship. 7 years ago, I was also valedictorian and got that same scholarship. All I said was, "Congratulations. Did you want fries with that?" and continued taking their order. FML

#6194696 (116)

I agree, your life sucks (29088) - you deserved it (4812)

On 11/07/2009 at 11:04am - work - by John (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I got a new job. I'm 26 and I left an amazing job to move back to be around my family. I have no choice but to take this job. I will be placing my finger in a dead turkeys ass, cutting open its stomach, and ripping out its guts. 15 per minute. FML

#6192023 (93)

I agree, your life sucks (19509) - you deserved it (6954)

On 11/07/2009 at 3:04am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I learned the hard way that if you walk up to a hobo by your car pooping, they will chase you yelling, "Get out of my bathroom!" FML

#6166961 (121)

I agree, your life sucks (22723) - you deserved it (2710)

On 11/05/2009 at 12:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, while walking to work, I accidentally dropped my $400 cell phone on the sidewalk. The screen shattered into a million pieces. A woman passing by looked at the ruined phone and said, "Now that's what you call a dropped call!" She laughed and kept walking. FML

#6154190 (251)

I agree, your life sucks (25358) - you deserved it (12098)

On 11/04/2009 at 5:37pm - misc - by Cellismasher (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was at the McDonalds drive-thru getting my morning coffee, when some guy slammed into the back of my car. I'm so happy I was holding the cup between my legs at that very moment, because now I have 2nd degree burns on my lady parts. FML

#6151302 (172)

I agree, your life sucks (28991) - you deserved it (5083)

On 11/04/2009 at 2:02pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, a Milkbone commercial came on TV. At the end of it, they whistle and throw a Milkbone across the screen, prompting my 100lb German Shepherd to leap off the couch and run head on into my new plasma screen TV. FML

#6134962 (215)

I agree, your life sucks (35885) - you deserved it (3029)

On 11/03/2009 at 1:11pm - misc - by doglover (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I invited my very animal phobic boyfriend over. I have a dog and a rabbit, who are always well behaved so I insisted they wouldn't do him any harm. My dog peed all over his shoes and my rabbit furiously humped his leg and wouldn't let go. He's now even more terrified of animals. FML

#6081192 (143)

I agree, your life sucks (19661) - you deserved it (7699)

On 10/31/2009 at 7:08am - love - by Anon (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, at my school's Midnight Madness, I was selected to show my school spirit in a contest. Being drunk, I decided to hump the school mascot in front of 300 people. FML

#6065931 (108)

I agree, your life sucks (4163) - you deserved it (33468)

On 10/30/2009 at 1:11am - misc - by skyhawk13 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I confronted my boyfriend, suspecting that he has been cheating on me during the past few months. He vehemently denied it. Then told me it would never happen again. What? FML

#6049453 (66)

I agree, your life sucks (28914) - you deserved it (1840)

On 10/29/2009 at 12:09am - love - by clueless (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was playing with my cat and holding her upside down. She started frantically meowing, but I still continued on playing with her. Seconds later, she got explosive diarrhea everywhere, including my hair, face, shirt, and mouth. FML

#6040097 (180)

I agree, your life sucks (7704) - you deserved it (56077)

On 10/28/2009 at 2:40pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)