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Mondegreen's FML badges
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Mondegreen's favorite FMLs
by :( / 01/27/2014 at 5:31pm / Algeria / Miscellaneous
Today, the family I live with decided that beer is a more important purchase than the things we need, such as detergent, soap, and toilet paper, just to name a few things. Apparently, paper towels should suffice. FML
by alyssuhh526 / 07/17/2013 at 5:51pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, during my family's traditional 4th of July weekend celebration, my water broke. I kept trying to tell them and asked them to take me to the hospital, but they couldn't hear me over the fireworks. They all just kept smiling and nodding. FML
by Anonymous / 07/06/2013 at 5:45pm / United States (Ohio) / Health
by BlueB / 07/06/2013 at 11:42am / United States / Miscellaneous
by StockedWithJuice / 07/06/2013 at 11:14am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by myfavoritesgouda / 06/24/2013 at 1:20am / United States (New York) / Work
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house. We'd been talking about the move where you pick a girl up and kiss, and how romantic that would be, so we decided to try it. When he picked me up, my head slammed against his ceiling fan. FML
by haleyart / 06/10/2013 at 12:10pm / United States (Louisiana) / Love
by Anonymous / 06/08/2013 at 6:34am / United States (Alabama) / Intimacy
Today, my family and I were visiting an aunt. While helping my aunt to set the table, my sister remarked that from behind I look exactly like her. I reflexively blurted out "well fuck you too". Very awkward silence. FML
by Kjer / 03/23/2013 at 8:38pm / Denmark (Hovedstaden) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend drove me back home. My dad was sitting on the porch in his underwear, with his shotgun in his lap. He stroked the gun, looked my boyfriend dead in the eyes, and slowly shook his head. Now my boyfriend refuses to see me for his own safety. FML
by Anonymous / 03/10/2013 at 6:37pm / United States (Texas) / Love
by Anonymous / 02/23/2013 at 12:25pm / Latvia (Aluksnes) / Holidays
Today, I started charging my phone in the car during a family road trip. The car recognized my iPhone as an MP3 player and started playing the audio from the porn video I watched before we left. Everybody heard. FML
by anonymous / 01/05/2013 at 11:16am / United States / Transportation
by strawberrywine22 / 09/27/2012 at 10:14pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, while on my morning jog, I turned a corner, and out of nowhere, the business end of a bicycle hit me straight in the nuts. As I collapsed, gasping in agony, the guy who just killed a hundred million of my potential children got back on his bike and cycled away without a word. FML
by Anonymous / 08/12/2012 at 7:08pm / United States (New Jersey) / Health
by lotd / 07/31/2012 at 7:28pm / United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire) / Miscellaneous
- Today, after long day at work, I stopped by my parents' house to say hi. After 30 minutes into the… Today, I woke up finding out I had a wet dream last night. About someone other than my girlfriend.… Today, I whacked off with a condom on and left it in the living room waste basket so it looked like…
- Today I had to pick up my son from soccer practice. I saw my son from my car, so I said "Get in the… Today, I had a wet dream about a classmate. Now whenever I see her I get a raging erection. I have… Today, I got a call from my manager asking me if I realized I had a shift that started half an hour…