Momo_Moonlight

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Offline (the 12/19/2015 at 10:37pm)

Momo_Moonlight

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 8911
  • Number of comments : 107
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Momo_Moonlight's page activity

Visits<b>Dthsapprntc</b> - the 08/02/2016 at 8:16am<b>babymama727</b> - the 05/13/2016 at 11:58pm<b>connaughty0225</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 9:23pm<b>Mynamewontfi</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 10:32am<b>IAMTHEJEWBOY</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 6:23am<b>hullarms</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 2:19am<b>ultimate41</b> - the 01/31/2015 at 11:35pm<b>deachawill</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 10:13am<b>Azka</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 8:51am<b>spork_of_doom</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 10:49am<b>cokeman666</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 1:17am<b>patnn</b> - the 02/06/2014 at 2:32pm<b>umidontrember</b> - the 01/09/2014 at 11:21am<b>Owlnight321</b> - the 12/30/2013 at 11:05pm<b>f36k</b> - the 10/19/2013 at 1:22pm<b>feezy11</b> - the 09/30/2013 at 4:02pm<b>vampirefairy_07</b> - the 09/19/2013 at 8:23pm<b>meepmerp</b> - the 09/10/2013 at 12:17am

Momo_Moonlight's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

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Momo_Moonlight's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to church for the first time in my life. They had a Jesus statue at the altar, and I noticed he was surprisingly muscular. Ten minutes later, I had to excuse myself, after I caught myself fantasizing over a crucified Jesus. FML

by Weirdo / 12/30/2012 at 1:39pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I took my child to the park. Having been there an hour, another mum came up to me and we started talking. She then told me that one kid had been harassing her children, pointing to my child. When she asked which one was mine I pointed to a random kid. It was hers. FML

by Anonymous / 12/23/2012 at 10:02am / Australia / Kids

Today, I told my boyfriend that I'm pregnant. He seemed excited, and said we should make the baby fat so he can bounce her on his lap and watch her double chin jiggle. Just to prove he's serious, he's been searching for high-calorie foods for babies. FML

by fatbabysyndrome / 12/18/2012 at 12:33pm / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, I saw a man in an army uniform. As a bit of a patriot, I went up to thank him for his service. After about 10 minutes of me going on and on, he started laughing. He wasn't a soldier. FML

by Anonymous / 12/18/2012 at 2:48am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I avoided having to wash the dishes by faking a cold. My sucker of a wife believed me and hopped off my balls about it. Later on, after I made a miraculous recovery, she told me to take out the trash. It's freezing outside and raining, and I feel a very real cold coming on. FML

by fuckmyassimcold / 12/14/2012 at 2:19pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I flew from Australia to the UK to meet the woman I love. After two years of talking, and having gotten a love letter for my birthday a few months prior, I was convinced we'd have a great time. Turns out she doesn't know what she feels for me. I'm staying with her for the next 35 days. FML

by RabbitOfAurora / 12/12/2012 at 10:56am / United Kingdom (Hounslow) / Holidays

Today, it's been 13 months since I've been living in the States. I've been called a Nazi, asked if we have electricity in Germany, and been made fun of the way I speak with my "German accent", the list goes on. I'm not even German, I'm Danish. FML

by LearnGeographyUSA / 12/12/2012 at 1:45am / United States (Washington) / Kids

Today, feeling very distant to my daughter recently, I decided to sneak a peek in her diary to see what was on her mind. The book was apparently one of those that play the sound of a woman screaming when opened improperly, and alerted everyone in the house to my actions. FML

by Anonymous / 12/08/2012 at 2:30pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my son turned 8. We watched as he unwrapped a $55 Nerf gun, extra 'bullets', new shoes and a school bag with his favorite TV character on the front and a action figure inside. As he finished he looked me straight in the eyes and says, "That's great ma, but seriously what'd you get me?". FML

by Anonymous / 12/02/2012 at 3:19am / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids

Today, I brought a fluorescent tube to the store to make sure I got the correct replacement. Trying to charm the sexy cashier, I waved the tube in the air, saying "I need a new light sabre, there is no force left in this one and the Empire is attacking." Turns out she'd never heard of Star Wars. FML

Today, I was visiting family in Oregon. I did not know it was illegal to pump your own gas; the cops were involved. FML

by Anonymous / 11/12/2012 at 1:14am / United States / Transportation

Today, I found a limp head of celery in the fridge. I thought it looked like the squid alien baby from Men in Black. After nursing it for a couple of hours, giving it food, and rocking it to sleep, my parents found me. Then I realised it was just celery. Too bad it took that long for my meds to kick in. FML

by Squid / 11/07/2012 at 12:11am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was waitressing for a huge family. Their bill was $750. Excited about the tip, I was shocked to see only $0.50. As they were leaving, I threw the two whole quarters at their heads. Guess who also got fired today. FML

by Misunderstood Waitress / 11/06/2012 at 5:37pm / United States / Work

Today, my best friend got engaged to the guy she's been seeing for five years. He also happens to be the man I've been in love with for eight. As she was giving me the details, she nonchalantly gave me her reason for accepting the proposal: "Why the hell not, there's always divorce." FML

by Anonymous / 11/05/2012 at 9:48pm / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, my grandma took it upon herself to give me the sex talk. After explaining the mechanics in excessive detail, she said I shouldn't be afraid to sleep around. Apparently, I need to be comfortable with the man who'll be "conning me into blowing him for the next 50 years." FML

by fiftyshardsofbroccoli / 10/26/2012 at 1:58pm / United States / Intimacy