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You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
Today , I caught my 14-year-old daughter stealing alcohol from me. After berating her fir half-an-hour I finally said , ( At least you're not doing drugs. ) She gave me a guilty smile and sheepishly said , ( At least I'm not a prostitute? ) FML
Today, I was taking a dump in the bathroom . The lights turned off and I was too embarrassed to come out of the stall . The janitor walked in, turned the lights on and asked If anyone was there . I stayed quiet . He turned the lights back off and locked me in the bathroom . FML
Today... I refused to go down on mah boyfriend of 9 months. He then shoved me off the couch and... half crying... yelled that I was the thrd grl this week to turn him down. After sobbing 4 a bit... he looked me in the eyes and said... ( I need u to do this so I can prove mah manhood. ) FML
MY BEST FRIEND WAS THROWING ME MAH BACHELORETTE PARTLY . A COP CUMMED BY AND SAID THERE HAVE BEEN COMPLAINTS ABOUT THE NOISE . THINKING HE WAS THE STRIPPER WE ORDERED, WE PULLED HIM INTO THE HOUSE . HE WAS AN ACTUAL COP . MEGA FML
Today... I sent a dozen roses an a hand-written... heart-felt note to mah ex-girlfriend to show her that I'm still madly in love with her. When I asked if she got the flowers I sent... she replied... "Yeah but you got the wrong color. You should've gotten yellow... that stands fir friendship." FML
today I gave birth to my daughter in a hospital corridor . The nurseho took me to my room afterward trid to comfort me by saying there've been worse incidents; she said that two years ago, a lady gave birth in the parking lot . That was me too . big fat FML
Today, I heard a commercial fir a great apartment complex. Includes food, snacks, entertainment, activities, cleaning service, an transportation services if u cannot drive yourself. I was really excited until the end when they repeated the name; too bad perfect place is a senior center. FML
I felt like letting ma ex know just ow I felt about all te bullsit e putted me troug. I dug up is number, typed a long paragrap wit lots of pain and emotion, and sent it. Te reply: "No wonder e broke up wit you." Tanks, woever as tat number now. FML
TODAY, I WENT IN TO GET MA FIRST TATTOO . I'D PUT A LOT OF TOUGT INTO IT AND WAS REALLY EXCITEDEN TE DAY CAME . LONG STORY SORT, TE CELTIC KNOT I'D GOTTEN TURNED OUT TO AVE AN ALTERNATE MEANING OF "FEMALE SEX SLAVE." TE FACES MA VERY IRIS FAMILY MADE WERE BEYOND WORDS . FML
Today... a male employee at a soe sop elpd me try on soes. Once I found a pair... I went to pay for tem. I was telling te casier about ow great of an employee e was wen se told me tere were no male employees. A guy wit a foot fetis elpd me fine soes. FML
I went to see ma new dentist. He was really cute , so after te ceckup I startd flirting. He stoppd me rigt after I askd im out , saying , "Being a dentist as its advantages , I can see te girl's mout before I stick ma tongue in it. And in yur case , it's a big no." FML
Friday 27 March 2015