Momo_Moonlight

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Offline (the 12/19/2015 at 10:37pm)

Momo_Moonlight

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 8207
  • Number of comments : 107
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Momo_Moonlight's page activity

Visits<b>connaughty0225</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 9:23pm<b>Mynamewontfi</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 10:32am<b>IAMTHEJEWBOY</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 6:23am<b>hullarms</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 2:19am<b>ultimate41</b> - the 01/31/2015 at 11:35pm<b>deachawill</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 10:13am<b>Azka</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 8:51am<b>spork_of_doom</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 10:49am<b>cokeman666</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 1:17am<b>patnn</b> - the 02/06/2014 at 2:32pm<b>umidontrember</b> - the 01/09/2014 at 11:21am<b>Owlnight321</b> - the 12/30/2013 at 11:05pm<b>f36k</b> - the 10/19/2013 at 1:22pm<b>feezy11</b> - the 09/30/2013 at 4:02pm<b>vampirefairy_07</b> - the 09/19/2013 at 8:23pm<b>meepmerp</b> - the 09/10/2013 at 12:17am<b>PhishloverA</b> - the 08/16/2013 at 3:15am<b>Crash7777</b> - the 08/16/2013 at 1:26am

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Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Inception

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Momo_Moonlight's favorite FMLs

Today, I caught my 14-year-old daughter stealing alcohol from me. After berating her for half-an-hour I finally said, "At least you're not doing drugs." She gave me a guilty smile and sheepishly said, "At least I'm not a prostitute?" FML

by prostitott / 05/04/2013 at 3:22am / Kids

Today, my boss fired me for acting "inappropriately" at work. I gave him a hug. He's my dad. FML

by Anonymous / 05/03/2013 at 11:00am / United States / Work

Today, I was taking a dump in the bathroom. The lights turned off and I was too embarrassed to come out of the stall. The janitor walked in, turned the lights on and asked If anyone was there. I stayed quiet. He turned the lights back off and locked me in the bathroom. FML

by random / 04/29/2013 at 5:11pm / Canada / Miscellaneous

Today, it was my wedding day. My new husband and I, for a laugh, did our first dance to LMFAO's "I'm sexy and I know it" with stupid moves and everything. 200 guests. Nobody laughed. FML

by Anonymous / 04/24/2013 at 6:29pm / United Kingdom (Gloucestershire) / Love

Today, I refused to go down on my boyfriend of 9 months. He then shoved me off the couch and, half crying, yelled that I was the third girl this week to turn him down. After sobbing for a bit, he looked me in the eyes and said, "I need you to do this so I can prove my manhood." FML

by saywhat / 04/09/2013 at 7:05am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, my best friend was throwing me my bachelorette partly. A cop came by and said there have been complaints about the noise. Thinking he was the stripper we ordered, we pulled him into the house. He was an actual cop. FML

by Evalynne / 04/06/2013 at 8:55am / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally got a tattoo of an alchemy symbol that I've wanted for years. I also found out later that symbol stands for urine. FML

by PeeLeg / 03/11/2013 at 3:43am / Miscellaneous

Today, I sent a dozen roses and a hand-written, heart-felt note to my ex-girlfriend to show her that I'm still madly in love with her. When I asked if she got the flowers I sent, she replied, "Yeah but you got the wrong color. You should've gotten yellow, that stands for friendship." FML

by Roses are Red / 03/07/2013 at 1:07am / United States (Mississippi) / Love

Today, my wife packed my lunch. Inside of my lunchbox was a photo of her eating my sandwiches. FML

by Anonymous / 03/01/2013 at 2:18am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I gave birth to my daughter in a hospital corridor. The nurse who took me to my room afterward tried to comfort me by saying there've been worse incidents; she said that two years ago, a lady gave birth in the parking lot. That was me too. FML

by laprochainefoisjerestealamaison / 02/25/2013 at 2:47pm / France (Languedoc-Roussillon) / Health

Today, I heard a commercial for a great apartment complex. Includes food, snacks, entertainment, activities, cleaning service, and transportation services if you cannot drive yourself. I was really excited until the end when they repeated the name; too bad my perfect place is a senior center. FML

by kryan012 / 02/20/2013 at 8:54am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I felt like letting my ex know just how I felt about all the bullshit he put me through. I dug up his number, typed a long paragraph with lots of pain and emotion, and sent it. The reply: "No wonder he broke up with you." Thanks, whoever has that number now. FML

by Anonymous / 02/18/2013 at 4:30pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went in to get my first tattoo. I'd put a lot of thought into it and was really excited when the day came. Long story short, the Celtic knot I'd gotten turned out to have an alternate meaning of "female sex slave." The faces my very Irish family made were beyond words. FML

by UnluckyInk / 02/18/2013 at 3:50am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, a male employee at a shoe shop helped me try on shoes. Once I found a pair, I went to pay for them. I was telling the cashier about how great of an employee he was when she told me there were no male employees. A guy with a foot fetish helped me find shoes. FML

by footfetish / 02/02/2013 at 6:21am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to see my new dentist. He was really cute, so after the checkup I started flirting. He stopped me right after I asked him out, saying, "Being a dentist has its advantages, I can see the girl's mouth before I stick my tongue in it. And in your case, it's a big no." FML

by black and yellow / 01/21/2013 at 1:32am / United States (California) / Love