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Momo_Moonlight

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Momo_Moonlight
  • Town/Country : München, Deutschland
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2872
  • Number of comments : 106
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Momo_Moonlight's favorite FMLs

Today, I told my mom that I want to try out for a singing competition on TV, so I might be able to kick off my musical career. She convinced me to sing a song for her, so I did. Mid-way through, she lost it, burst into laughter, and told me to stay in school. FML

#20890415
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32841) - you deserved it (9797)

On 09/21/2013 at 4:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I took my girlfriend to a public place before confessing that I've been seeing another woman, to avoid a dramatic scene. After being rushed to the hospital with a concussion and broken nose, I think it's safe to say my plan didn't go very well. FML

#20873101
350 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17612) - you deserved it (91965)

On 09/08/2013 at 3:31pm - love - by verbaltodomestic (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was prank called yet again by someone asking for a game that was released over 10 years ago. The store I work at only sells modern titles, and I angrily slammed the phone down. My boss saw and fired me on the spot. FML

Today, my friend told me she turned down a job as a babysitter because she didn't want to be secretly videotaped, as she knew the people had a nanny cam. I wasn't aware of this when I took that same job a few nights ago and asked my boyfriend to come by. We had sex on their couch. FML

#20862871
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21344) - you deserved it (82723)

On 09/01/2013 at 5:57am - intimacy - by happyturtle (woman) - Croatia

Today, I discovered I have epilepsy. 10 years ago, I told my mother about my frequent fits of vertigo, deja vu, nausea, flashes of memory and strange sounds, smells, and images, coupled with an other-worldly feeling. I thought they were holy visions. So did she. FML

Today, the window cleaner did his rounds at my house. I sat at my mirror applying makeup and doing my hair. When he came to my window, he yelled rather loudly, "Stop putting on a show for me, you dirty slut!" FML

#20823799
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44752) - you deserved it (5856)

On 08/06/2013 at 1:01pm - misc - by stillembarrassed (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I went to my dad, hoping to confess something to him. He quickly said that if I'd got my girlfriend pregnant, he'd kill me. That's exactly what happened. I had to make up a lie instead about stealing $50 from his wallet once as a kid, which he then demanded I pay back in full. FML

#20813928
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27311) - you deserved it (39563)

On 07/31/2013 at 6:49pm - misc - by psychic parents, how do they work? :( (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my daughter's biggest aspiration is to create a time machine for the sole purpose of going to the '70s to see the Ramones in concert. FML

#20810453
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30027) - you deserved it (7463)

On 07/29/2013 at 9:32pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend took me to dinner. There was a beautifully decorated table with rose petals and a huge bouquet and he told me he had ordered all this for me. I'd never felt so special. That is, until I had to get up for the couple whose table it actually was. FML

#20810418
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42498) - you deserved it (3075)

On 07/29/2013 at 9:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my step-brother said to me, "If we weren't related I would fuck you so hard." Mom says I should "be grateful for such a nice compliment." FML

#20809554
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59954) - you deserved it (5206)

On 07/29/2013 at 11:07am - misc - by PrettyScared (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my family and I went to feed carrots to the giraffes at the zoo. After I finished my first cup of carrots, I turned back to get some more. Suddenly, I was jerked back and a chunk of my hair was ripped out. The giraffe mistook the orange barrette in my hair for a carrot. FML

#20809312
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41122) - you deserved it (8904)

On 07/29/2013 at 4:19am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I knocked over a display case at a mall, shattering hundreds of dollars in goods. Embarrassed, I tried to scurry out of the nearest door without being seen. I scuttled right into the janitor's closet, the door automatically locking behind me. I waited for an hour to be let out. FML

#20784911
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21550) - you deserved it (42350)

On 07/15/2013 at 7:36pm - money - by Jer (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my therapist told me to write any negative thoughts that I had on a piece of paper and then set fire to it. When I lit it in the trash can, huge flames broke out and I had to throw the trash can out my window to keep from setting my house on fire. FML

#20775563
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26241) - you deserved it (34110)

On 07/11/2013 at 3:10am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I arrived in Germany for a summer-long stay. The family I'm supposed to stay with had said they spoke fluent English. They don't. I don't speak German. It's going to be a quiet two months. FML

#20772031
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40873) - you deserved it (5520)

On 07/09/2013 at 7:18am - misc - by traveling -

Today, my five-year-old daughter called the police to report her stolen nose. FML

#20769088
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48962) - you deserved it (8615)

On 07/07/2013 at 5:57pm - kids - by nosestealer (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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