About Mommasgirl21 : I am in rotc and law and am one of the few people on earth who knows how to boil someone from the inside out leaving no forensic trace.:)
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
Today, my friend joked to my co-workers that my kitty-cat of a husband was going to beat me for spending $200 on shoes. Later on, my rather large dog was so excited to see me when I walked in the door, he split my lip. Somehow, I don't think they'll believe me when I get to the office tomorrow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14790) - you deserved it (1807)
On 11/06/2012 at 4:32am - work - by iLuvsIt (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I was planning on enjoying my one day off work from the hospital, at home. I got a call saying I had to come in because my department was short-handed. I went in to find almost everyone there. Turns out it was a prank by my coworkers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17346) - you deserved it (1109)
Today, at daycare, a little girl cussed me out because I didn't have any apple juice left. When I called her parents, they sided with her and cussed me out too. My boss refused to sympathize, and reprimanded me for not making sure we still had apple juice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16914) - you deserved it (1563)
On 11/05/2012 at 12:01pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I was reading a book in public. Some bastard stranger came over and started spoiling the plot for me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18435) - you deserved it (1725)
On 11/05/2012 at 10:58am - misc - by Spoilicious - Singapore
Today, while walking home, I really had to pee, so I decided to do my business in some high grass just off the street. When I got home, I felt an itch between my butt cheeks. I went to the bathroom to check it out, and a dead, apparently crushed spider fell out of my underwear. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13591) - you deserved it (9926)
On 11/04/2012 at 12:12pm - animals - by spiderwoman (woman) - Iceland (Gullbringusysla)
Today, I woke up with a vague memory of buying something last night while drunk. According to my credit card summary I made a $270 purchase from a home shopping channel. I guess in 5-7 days I'll find out what it was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6907) - you deserved it (17237)
On 11/04/2012 at 11:37am - money - by fnfantastic - United States (Indiana)
Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate with each other for the first time. He shoved his hand down my pants, touched about an inch away from my clitoris, and whispered "cummm" in my ear. I doubt I'll have an orgasm ever again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23688) - you deserved it (2247)
On 11/03/2012 at 2:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, my girlfriend did the walk of shame in a skimpy Halloween costume after a night of drunken sex. Problem? The walk ended at my doorstep, and the sex was with a stranger. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27107) - you deserved it (1800)
On 11/03/2012 at 6:02am - intimacy - by heartbroke (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I finally lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It hurt like hell, was over in less than a minute, and he tried to reuse the condom for a second round. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26383) - you deserved it (3616)
On 11/02/2012 at 9:23pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)
Today, in the spirit of Halloween and to get back at a child who repeatedly pressed the doorbell until I showed up, I quickly opened the door and yelled "Boo!" The child ended up being carried away crying with wet pants by a mother threatening to sue. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20302) - you deserved it (3153)
Today, I texted my boyfriend saying that I couldn't wait for him to get home and see my costume, and that I had dressed up as a naked lady. He texted back asking if I could dress up as someone who was making dinner instead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21098) - you deserved it (4353)
On 11/01/2012 at 3:54am - intimacy - by okay._. - United States (California)
Today, I discovered a brown recluse spider in my house. Before I could smash it, it escaped under the door. Now I'm freaked out and wearing boots and gloves, clutching at my kittens and waiting for it to appear. My dad laughs everytime he walks past. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13351) - you deserved it (2603)
On 10/31/2012 at 1:09pm - animals - by NotSpiderman (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, before leaving my house, I OCD-checked all of my doors 16 times to make sure that they were locked. When I got home, my house had been broken into. Turns out I accidentally unlocked my front door when trying to lock it for the last time. This is why I have OCD. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14568) - you deserved it (6588)
On 10/30/2012 at 11:02pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I met someone really cool and their departing words were, for some odd reason, "We should totally be friends, I mean unless you're schizophrenic or something, haha!" I have schizophrenia. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19297) - you deserved it (1321)
On 10/30/2012 at 7:42pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, while getting intimate with my girlfriend, she asked me to whisper her name. Apparently, her name is not Kate. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7021) - you deserved it (50189)
On 10/30/2012 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by you (man) - United Kingdom
Sunday 12 May 2013
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