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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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MochaBlues

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MochaBlues
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6196
  • Number of comments : 14
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About MochaBlues : Ffff I don't really go onto FML as much anymore. :c
BUT UM I LIKE TO DRAW AND WASTE TIME

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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

MochaBlues's favorite FMLs

Today, I was in bed with my cat on my lap. No one was around, so I felt comfortable enough to let out a huge fart. What I didn't expect was my cat jumping up and then clawing and biting my crotch. FML

#6971032 (98)

I agree, your life sucks (8636) - you deserved it (17246)

On 12/27/2009 at 8:04am - animals - by axwound (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my daughter thought that my new and expensive cologne smelled funny. She then decided to empty its contents down the toilet and refill the bottle with "nice-smelling things". I now smell like a mixture of chicken soup, my wife's perfume, tomato sauce and orange juice. FML

#6955245 (86)

I agree, your life sucks (21032) - you deserved it (2806)

On 12/26/2009 at 11:34am - kids - by dessaye (man) - Singapore

Today, I came home from work and had to pee so badly that I ran to the bathroom and ripped my pants down. My touch screen phone dropped from my pocket and started calling my boyfriend. Since I couldn't quite reach the phone, I left a message of me peeing on his cell. FML

#3061560 (158)

I agree, your life sucks (28819) - you deserved it (6285)

On 06/20/2009 at 2:06pm - misc - by WhyTheFNot (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, while taking a drug test for a volunteer job, I found out that I have a "shy bladder". It took me ages to pee into a cup. I was congratulated and clapped for by complete strangers when I finally left for taking a piss. FML

#2569917 (203)

I agree, your life sucks (32939) - you deserved it (2783)

On 06/03/2009 at 4:06pm - work - by peeepeee. - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunder storm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML

#2532710 (1201)

I agree, your life sucks (55733) - you deserved it (136029)

On 06/02/2009 at 2:03pm - animals - by fmlfmlfml (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to give a presentation about Adolf Hitler. I wanted to point out he was a very good speaker, and could incite a crowd. Instead, what came out was 'Hitler's oral skills made everyone go wild with excitement" FML

#2508726 (333)

I agree, your life sucks (28142) - you deserved it (46081)

On 06/01/2009 at 7:12pm - misc - by Cail (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, there was a parents bike race on the track at my high school for a fundraiser. My dad entered, and ended up winning. He did his victory dance with a massive erection showing through his spandex. Just about all of my friends, teachers, other parents, and the hot soccer team saw. FML

#2501660 (313)

I agree, your life sucks (51232) - you deserved it (2298)

On 06/01/2009 at 3:13pm - intimacy - by biker2012 (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, my husband of ten years was playing the Sims. I asked him about the house he built. Apparently, it was his dream house, and he recreated himself as a Sim so he could live in it. Then I asked him where the wife was. There was no wife. It was his happy place. FML

#2464746 (158)

I agree, your life sucks (40381) - you deserved it (7052)

On 05/31/2009 at 1:36pm - misc - by Anonymous - Poland (Katowice)

Today, my wife and I watched a documentary film about a kid living with severe asthma. In one scene, the kid has a severe asthma attack, and is rushed to hospital. My wife started laughing hysterically at this and after apologising, goes "it's just he sounded exactly like you in bed." FML

#2302795 (113)

I agree, your life sucks (55470) - you deserved it (5489)

On 05/26/2009 at 4:24am - intimacy - by Weezylover (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, my mom talked about how it's interesting how there's so many different size of penises. She also told me that since she's doing hormone therapy she's able to orgasm a LOT more. We were stuck in stop and go traffic for 3 hours. When I turned on the radio, she turned it off and talked more. FML

#2267946 (175)

I agree, your life sucks (71681) - you deserved it (3328)

On 05/25/2009 at 4:54am - intimacy - by ITSnotFUNNYtoMEass (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to the store to buy groceries. I didn't care how I looked, so I wore an old shirt that said, "Thousands of my potential children died on your daughter's face last night." I ran into my girlfriend's parents at the store. FML

#2244608 (464)

I agree, your life sucks (30239) - you deserved it (98462)

On 05/24/2009 at 3:50pm - misc - by helloitsbrian6969 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, after being diagnosed with cat allergies, I explained to my cat-loving boyfriend that the doctor strongly recommended not allowing the cat in the bedroom. At 1:30 am my boyfriend got out of the bed to go sleep in the spare room because: "the cat is sad." FML

#2209571 (207)

I agree, your life sucks (41842) - you deserved it (5642)

On 05/23/2009 at 12:07pm - love - by Ames (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I went to a chinese restaurant with my asian girlfriend. When she went into the bathroom I practiced saying "Can we have sex" in chinese which is where she is from. After saying it a few times out loud, a waiter walked by and stared at me. When he gave me the check he included his number. FML

#2189119 (246)

I agree, your life sucks (16703) - you deserved it (48636)

On 05/22/2009 at 7:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got a call saying that my son was chasing all the girls in the class with his "Sword of Death", otherwise known as my dildo. FML

#2147353 (358)

I agree, your life sucks (68943) - you deserved it (32611)

On 05/21/2009 at 3:18pm - intimacy - by a (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, my cat was hit by a car. I took it to the vet expecting the worst but they told me that she’d be fine. I was so happy I didn't even mind paying the $50 bill. The next morning my cat was dead. Having her put down humanely would have cost $45, I paid $5 extra to have her die in my kitchen. FML

#2137962 (221)

I agree, your life sucks (44369) - you deserved it (2438)

On 05/21/2009 at 4:06am - animals - by georgia819 - Australia (New South Wales)