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MoMAmaniac's favorite FMLs
by BadFather / 11/21/2011 at 1:23am / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids
Today, I was using the bathroom and checking Facebook on my phone. As I'm checking my news feed, I notice a new photo upload by my brother. I guess I forgot to shut the door to the bathroom, because it's me on the toilet. FML
by beccabooyah / 11/19/2011 at 7:52pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Tyler / 11/19/2011 at 3:05am / United States / Intimacy
Today, we had a sprint race in gym class which I wasn't looking forward to because I'm a little chubby. The race started and I shot off as fast as I could, somehow in the lead. Everyone was cheering. When I was nearing the finish line I turned around, only to see the race hadn't started yet. FML
by dan / 11/18/2011 at 11:54pm / Reserved / Miscellaneous
by insulted / 11/15/2011 at 12:48pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was cleaning mouse remains from the kitchen floor, left by my cat. I found a small round thing nearby. With no idea what it was, I picked it up and gave it a little squeeze to see if it was solid. It wasn't, and burst with great force onto my face. I'm pretty sure it was an eye. FML
by yuck / 11/15/2011 at 9:38am / United Kingdom (Bolton) / Animals
by Nico / 11/12/2011 at 10:42am / France / Miscellaneous
by kirrby / 11/12/2011 at 1:41am / United States (Nevada) / Love
by so romantic / 11/12/2011 at 12:06am / United States (Texas) / Love
by dumbassbuffet / 11/11/2011 at 10:53am / Canada (Manitoba) / Intimacy
Today, my mother spent over $5,000 to fly in a Feng-Shui master, put him in a five-star hotel, and had him walk around our house with a compass, moving things to help improve the "energy flow." Now all I have in my room is an old mattress and lamp. He's coming back tomorrow. FML
by Agathus / 11/10/2011 at 9:35am / United Arab Emirates / Money
Today, in a large church youth group, we were told to write our current biggest trial on a piece of paper, crumple it up, and throw it in pile. I wrote "My mother's death and having to leave my friends and family." The one I picked up just said "math." FML
by Noslo / 11/09/2011 at 10:52pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Great... / 11/09/2011 at 5:48pm / United States (Mississippi) / Intimacy
Today, I thought it would be a good idea to let my 19-month-old son watch me pee, since I'm trying to potty train him. I didn't consider that he might try to grab my penis. When he did, I was startled and peed all over the floor and my son. Good job dad. FML
by Anonymous / 11/09/2011 at 4:52pm / United States / Kids
by blacktyaffair / 11/09/2011 at 9:48am / United States (Texas) / Animals
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…
- Today, I sprayed pepper spray on a guy who appeared to be following me. He was really cute, and was… Today, my boyfriend whispered to me, “I’m so tired of these fucking mosquitos.” When I asked why he… Today, after recently moving to Australia, I saw my first kangaroo. In the refrigerated section of…