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MoMAmaniac's favorite FMLs
by jenni6488 / 02/22/2012 at 2:56am / United Kingdom (Gateshead) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had to tell my wife that the new "vegan" diet she has put us on is not working with my body. It's not the horrible gas, hot shits, or constant hunger that made me realize this. It was the dream I had about fried chicken that did. FML
by kohler9790 / 02/21/2012 at 8:29pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was talking to my grandpa while he was gardening outside. Suddenly I feel this hard, salty thing fly into my mouth and I spit it out. It turned out to be a beetle. My grandpa takes one look at the beetle and says, "Well, at least that poor bug finally got you to shut up." FML
by vw / 02/20/2012 at 12:05am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by Cheap N Happy / 02/17/2012 at 4:44am / United States / Love
by Anonymous / 02/17/2012 at 3:01am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, after finally getting my newborn baby to sleep, I made a sign to put on the door asking people not to knock or ring the bell, since our 3 dogs will bark loudly and wake the baby. When I went to print the sign, my dogs barked like crazy at the sound of the printer. FML
by TiredMom / 02/16/2012 at 4:42pm / United States (Louisiana) / Kids
by JukeboxValkyrie / 02/16/2012 at 2:52am / United States (Florida) / Animals
by Anonymous / 02/15/2012 at 12:18am / United States / Love
by crazytown62 / 02/14/2012 at 10:32am / United States / Love
by ThanksMum / 02/14/2012 at 6:56am / United Kingdom / Love
by Just_Me_88 / 02/14/2012 at 1:32am / United States / Love
by Anonymous / 02/14/2012 at 12:24am / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy
by ontherun2012 / 02/13/2012 at 11:22pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous
Today, I took my girlfriend out for a fancy dinner to celebrate our anniversary. When the waitress came, we instantly recognized each other. She was the girl I'd had a one night stand with a few weeks before. FML
by Anonymous / 02/13/2012 at 4:49pm / Canada / Love
Today, I got a text from my mom saying, "I heard the cupcake store got robbed. Where are you?" Then she texted back, "Oh never mind, they wanted money, not cupcakes. It wasn't you." Very funny, Mom. FML
by cieee / 02/13/2012 at 2:09am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…