About Mlk313 : 19. Work full time and going to college to be a Firefighter and be on a Ladder Company
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Mlk313's favorite FMLs
Today, at the bank where I work, I escorted a very short woman to her safe deposit box in the vault. I left her alone, knowing she could use the phone to call the reception when she was ready to leave. We later realised the phone was too high for her to reach. If glares could kill. FML
Today, I was at a swim meet. I asked my friend if he could be my wingman and help me get a date with a girl I really liked. I told him my plan, and as I finished and turned to go to her, I noticed her standing right there, listening in on the whole conversation. FML
by look before you speak / 02/09/2014 at 2:12am / United States / Love
Today, after my car being in the shop for over a day and with no updates from the dealership, I decided to pay them a visit. The place was almost empty, and they hadn't done any work on my car. But judging by the used condom on my back seat, somebody got their own oil checked. FML
by Anonymous / 02/07/2014 at 7:28pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by probablydodgedabullet / 11/08/2013 at 6:30am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love
Today, while I was cleaning out my son's room, I came across his diary. Opening it out of curiosity, I found ramblings about how blacks, Jews, and other "inferior breeds" should be forcibly sterilized "for the common good." FML
by Ugh / 11/04/2012 at 9:08pm / United States (California) / Kids
Today, a guy I've been seeing for a while sent me a link to a porn site, with the message, "Holy fuck, isn't this your mom?!" Thinking he was joking around, I clicked the link just to see what sick shit he wanted to show me. It was my mom. FML
by identitychangeplease / 09/19/2012 at 4:41pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Intimacy
Today, my parents felt the need to lecture me about how people who "smoke the reefer" are a "waste of life" and will never amount to anything. I was baked during the entire conversation, and actually ended up breaking down in tears, because I realized they were totally right. FML
by :( / 06/24/2012 at 5:45pm / United States (Minnesota) / Kids
by jackgrant / 12/06/2011 at 8:01pm / Iran Islamic Republic of / Miscellaneous
by wtfisthisworldcomingto / 04/25/2011 at 8:11am / Miscellaneous
by gorillalove / 09/11/2010 at 3:25pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by sad-sexed / 09/06/2010 at 8:50am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend went to jail for a DUI. In a panic, I rushed to go bail him out. On the way to the jail I was stopped for running a red light. I soon joined my boyfriend in jail with my very own DUI charge. FML
by mackenzie_cain / 01/14/2010 at 12:33am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
by jkon / 08/04/2009 at 1:11am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by Tuck_My_Life / 08/03/2009 at 1:15am / United States (New Hampshire) / Love
by shandrith / 07/03/2009 at 10:16am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous