About Mjfalcon : Football
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Today, I slept in late and when I woke up, thought I was the only one in the house so I decided to walk around the corner to the only upstairs bathroom naked. My dad also slept in, also thought he was the only one in the house, and also decided to walk to the bathroom naked. We collided. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52811) - you deserved it (9988)
On 08/17/2009 at 9:50am - misc - by malebonding (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was pretending to use the force to operate the elevator at my hotel, getting really into it. Someone was waiting to get on at my floor and saw me. Not to mention the staff now brings it up every time I'm around. Apparently they have cameras in their elevators. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6345) - you deserved it (34278)
On 08/06/2009 at 7:16pm - misc - by beckzx58 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was alone in my friend's kitchen. I had "Don't Cha" stuck in my head all day so I decided to let it out by doing a slutty dance, including spinning around the support pole in the kitchen. I heard a noise outside and saw my friend's dad had been cleaning the windows. With a boner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17622) - you deserved it (43071)
On 06/10/2009 at 9:51am - intimacy - by sluttydancer (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I went to the store to buy groceries. I didn't care how I looked, so I wore an old shirt that said, "Thousands of my potential children died on your daughter's face last night." I ran into my girlfriend's parents at the store. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33755) - you deserved it (109232)
On 05/24/2009 at 3:50pm - misc - by helloitsbrian6969 (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was running outside. On the last mile I am along side some fields. While running along the side of the road I glanced down and saw a snake. I was so startled I jumped left in front of a car screaming like a girl. The snake was dead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27217) - you deserved it (9457)
On 05/22/2009 at 10:08am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, my alarm went off at 6.30. I woke up disorientated, as usual. I looked up and saw a dark, mysterious figure entering my room. Still half asleep, I screamed and dived under my covers. The dark, mysterious figure was my mom. I'm a 21 year old guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15058) - you deserved it (32460)
On 05/02/2009 at 4:44pm - misc - by screamo (man) - United Kingdom (Derby)
Today, I woke to find my boyfriend of 2 years gone. I saw my little sister's talking bear at the bottom of my bed, it said "squeeze me" so I squeezed it and it said "it's over." It was my boyfriends voice. I was dumped by a talking bear. FML
I agree, your life sucks (69905) - you deserved it (3191)
On 04/26/2009 at 8:35am - love - by shawty_x (woman) - United Kingdom (Hartlepool)
Today, I was in a tour group going through a cave and our guide stopped, turned off the lights, and told us to be quiet so we could feel absolute silence. I farted. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23561) - you deserved it (44457)
On 04/22/2009 at 3:10pm - misc - by fartmaster (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I had horrible pains in my stomache area so I went to the doctors. They couldn't find anything wrong and sent me to the Emergency Room for X-rays. After spending the entire day in the hospital, they tell me I'm slightly constipated. I had to pay $400 to find out I had to take a shit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27059) - you deserved it (46110)
On 04/14/2009 at 4:40pm - misc - by blehh (man) - United States
Today, at a family Seder, (a Jewish service for Passover), my mom served matzah balls during the festive meal. Considering how much I love matzah balls and there aren't many options for me to eat because I'm a vegetarian, I shouted, "I like really big balls!" in front of my entire family. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15033) - you deserved it (71681)
On 04/12/2009 at 12:27am - intimacy - by anon13 (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (199468) - you deserved it (58859)
On 04/02/2009 at 1:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I was at my bosses house for a company BBQ. Earlier I had taken muscle relaxants to calm my lower back pain. After a few drinks it was clear the alcohol and medication did not mix. I woke up few hours later to find out I had stripped naked and jumped into the 4 foot cake before passing out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25404) - you deserved it (60334)
On 03/30/2009 at 6:17pm - work - by Donzai (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was eating lunch naked at my home watching porn on the big screen. I heard the garage door opening meaning my roommate was coming home. In my haste to get dressed, I fell back in the barstool I was sitting in and knocked myself out. I woke up still naked and with lettuce all over me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18951) - you deserved it (62037)
On 03/11/2009 at 8:26pm - intimacy - by HansonLUVR (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I fell down the stairs twice. I fell from the top, stopped in the middle, stood up, stepped down one more step, tripped, and fell down the rest of the stairs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22303) - you deserved it (3535)
On 01/31/2009 at 12:25pm - misc - by Lars - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was masturbating lying on the lower bed of my brother's and my bunk beds. I finished jacking off and tried to get up to clean myself I hit my head on metal panel of the upper bed and passed out. Later woke up in my bed... found out my parents came home and saw me passed out naked holding a porn mag. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11031) - you deserved it (34248)
On 01/23/2009 at 2:50pm - intimacy - by killmyself - United States (California)
Monday 20 May 2013
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