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Mjfalcon

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Mjfalcon
  • Town/Country : Oklahoma city, USA
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 2 March 1993 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 1294
  • Number of comments : 54
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About Mjfalcon : Football
Rock music

Im a chill guy. Message me if you want. Bye.

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Mjfalcon's favorite FMLs

Today, I got a call from my boyfriend saying he needed me to bail him out of jail. The crime? Masturbating in public. FML

#13027296
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35200) - you deserved it (5394)

On 09/12/2010 at 10:29pm - intimacy - by nickim756 - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend got scared of a fly, freaked out, and accidentally punched me in the face. FML

#12926482
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24184) - you deserved it (3437)

On 09/06/2010 at 12:25am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I was applying Icy Hot. I squeezed the bottle too hard making it squirt in my eye. I ran to the bathroom in agony, turned on the faucet, and slammed my face right into it. FML

#12887269
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26539) - you deserved it (6080)

On 09/03/2010 at 3:59pm - health - by Jesska (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was having it off with my boyfriend. He is the kind of guy that likes to keep things interesting. Just as he started climaxing, he began to meow. FML

#12438405
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27430) - you deserved it (7779)

On 08/10/2010 at 7:58pm - intimacy - by verno02 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I misspelled the word "failure" in front of all my co-workers. Now I'm not given any writing tasks. FML

#12406299
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5987) - you deserved it (20411)

On 08/09/2010 at 4:29am - work - by Fml24609 - United States (New York)

Today, my husband discovered that whispering anything in my ear will turn me on. He turned to me and whispered 'cheeseburger' in my ear. Unfortunately, I moaned. Now he now laughs about it with our roommate. FML

#12377816
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23752) - you deserved it (16720)

On 08/07/2010 at 9:05pm - intimacy - by Indigo_Kitten (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he wanted to make the most of his 1 month X-Box Live coupon. FML

#12368277
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32773) - you deserved it (6241)

On 08/07/2010 at 7:01am - love - by Single (woman) - France (Bretagne)

Today, I was with my girlfriend, thinking we were alone in the house. Her little brother found us having sex on the couch, took a pic and said, "You are now both my slaves." He ran upstairs and locked his bedroom door. FML

#9797503
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14942) - you deserved it (36769)

On 04/11/2010 at 4:11am - intimacy - by junior - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was home alone. It was very dark and so I went to turn on the lights, when I heard the sound of a gun loading. I dropped to the floor but never heard a gun fire. I got up and heard the sound again. When I got lights on, I discovered it was only my printer telling me it was out of paper. FML

#8882513
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7589) - you deserved it (19435)

On 03/07/2010 at 12:02am - misc - by OhaiiKid (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I learned a little lesson about consequences. Yesterday, I ate a quarter as a dare. Today, I tried to poop it out. It got stuck coming out. I had to go to the doctor and explain everything. FML

#8519094
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5002) - you deserved it (41270)

On 02/21/2010 at 2:34pm - misc - by anna14 - United States (Tennessee)

Today, as I walked into my class, someone shouted at me, "Wild Snorlax Appeared! Use Your Ultra Balls!", since I am overweight and everyone in class laughed at me. I got made fun of by Pokémon nerds. FML

#7442333
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32219) - you deserved it (6962)

On 01/19/2010 at 7:03pm - misc - by snorlax (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was in a rush to get to the toilet, I went in and sat on the seat. Then I felt a stinging pain on my left bum cheek. I jumped up quickly to see a wasp splashing around in the bowl. It stung me, and now have a bum cheek twice its normal size, and pee all over my pants. FML

#7243511
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20804) - you deserved it (2156)

On 01/09/2010 at 8:23pm - animals - by targetlove (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my boyfriend and I were play wrestling. I had pinned him down and was sitting on his chest when he suddenly squeezed my stomach, causing me to rip the loudest fart ever. He looked so shocked that I couldn't help but laugh. I laughed so hard that I accidentally peed on him as well. FML

#7059042
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32004) - you deserved it (15289)

On 12/31/2009 at 3:04pm - love - by pottypattypeepants (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, at work, I brewed myself a fresh cup of coffee. I set the hot coffee onto my desk. My phone rang so I answered my coffee, spilling it all over my face and body. FML

#6902851
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9335) - you deserved it (21464)

On 12/23/2009 at 1:42pm - work - by chris (woman) - United States (California)

Today, it was the last day of finals. After sleeping less than three hours in the last two days, I got in the car to go to school. For a second, I thought my steering wheel, the gas pedal, and brake pedal were all missing. That's when I realized I was sitting in the back seat. FML

#6692026
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25408) - you deserved it (11333)

On 12/10/2009 at 8:08am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)



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