About Mjfalcon : Football
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50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, I was with my girlfriend, thinking we were alone in the house. Her little brother found us having sex on the couch, took a pic and said, "You are now both my slaves." He ran upstairs and locked his bedroom door. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14280) - you deserved it (30759)
On 04/11/2010 at 4:11am - intimacy - by junior - United States (Arizona)
Today, I was home alone. It was very dark and so I went to turn on the lights, when I heard the sound of a gun loading. I dropped to the floor but never heard a gun fire. I got up and heard the sound again. When I got lights on, I discovered it was only my printer telling me it was out of paper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6465) - you deserved it (14950)
On 03/07/2010 at 12:02am - misc - by OhaiiKid (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I learned a little lesson about consequences. Yesterday, I ate a quarter as a dare. Today, I tried to poop it out. It got stuck coming out. I had to go to the doctor and explain everything. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3932) - you deserved it (32320)
On 02/21/2010 at 2:34pm - misc - by anna14 - United States (Tennessee)
Today, as I walked into my class, someone shouted at me, "Wild Snorlax Appeared! Use Your Ultra Balls!", since I am overweight and everyone in class laughed at me. I got made fun of by Pokémon nerds. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27768) - you deserved it (5419)
On 01/19/2010 at 7:03pm - misc - by snorlax (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was in a rush to get to the toilet, I went in and sat on the seat. Then I felt a stinging pain on my left bum cheek. I jumped up quickly to see a wasp splashing around in the bowl. It stung me, and now have a bum cheek twice its normal size, and pee all over my pants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20232) - you deserved it (2126)
On 01/09/2010 at 8:23pm - animals - by targetlove (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, my boyfriend and I were play wrestling. I had pinned him down and was sitting on his chest when he suddenly squeezed my stomach, causing me to rip the loudest fart ever. He looked so shocked that I couldn't help but laugh. I laughed so hard that I accidentally peed on him as well. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31314) - you deserved it (15045)
On 12/31/2009 at 3:04pm - love - by pottypattypeepants (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, at work, I brewed myself a fresh cup of coffee. I set the hot coffee onto my desk. My phone rang so I answered my coffee, spilling it all over my face and body. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8570) - you deserved it (16876)
On 12/23/2009 at 1:42pm - work - by chris (woman) - United States (California)
Today, it was the last day of finals. After sleeping less than three hours in the last two days, I got in the car to go to school. For a second, I thought my steering wheel, the gas pedal, and brake pedal were all missing. That's when I realized I was sitting in the back seat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23042) - you deserved it (9529)
On 12/10/2009 at 8:08am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)
Today, I went to Disneyworld. I fell and hit my head while jumping up and down to see Ariel. I'm a 35 year old man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8017) - you deserved it (33345)
On 11/26/2009 at 11:30am - misc - by disney - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I returned home for the first time in a year, and found my entire computer missing. I asked my grandma about this, and she told me that she threw "the TV" away because it "no longer responded to the remote control." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31265) - you deserved it (1952)
On 11/12/2009 at 9:36am - misc - by missmycomp (man) - Singapore
Today, I saw an article that Burger King is selling a whopper with seven patties in celebration of the Windows Seven release. Upon reading this, I immediately got an extremely forceful erection. I think this is a sign to stop putting off that diet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9804) - you deserved it (6430)
On 10/26/2009 at 12:25am - intimacy - by Brian (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was eating MandMs on a chair when I dropped one and it fell under my crotch. My mom came in to see my hand on my crotch and me muttering, "Where is that little bastard?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (51047) - you deserved it (11675)
On 09/11/2009 at 2:26pm - misc - by awilson (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my boyfriend came in my room dressed as Harry Potter and declared that he was going to put his basilisk into my chamber of secrets. And yes, that was my first time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26813) - you deserved it (6522)
On 09/10/2009 at 1:18pm - intimacy - by ginny (woman) - United States (Iowa)
Today, I was at my boyfriends house, meeting his family for the first time. We were all standing in the kitchen when suddenly a small white and brown mouse ran by. As a natural instinct, I stomped on it. Turns out, it was his little sister's pet mouse that had gotten out of its cage earlier. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13542) - you deserved it (34854)
On 09/05/2009 at 9:31pm - misc - by JustMyLuck (woman) - United States (Iowa)
Today, my boyfriend and his parents met my family. My grandpa thought it would be funny to walk around with a realistic gun and make references about being in the mafia. The rest of my family went along with it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31393) - you deserved it (3787)
On 08/24/2009 at 11:35am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)
Monday 20 May 2013
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