About Mjfalcon : Football
Im a chill guy. Message me if you want. Bye.
About Mjfalcon : Football
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Mjfalcon's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 09/06/2010 at 12:25am / United States (North Dakota) / Love
by Jesska / 09/03/2010 at 3:59pm / United States (New York) / Health
by verno02 / 08/10/2010 at 7:58pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by Fml24609 / 08/09/2010 at 4:29am / United States (New York) / Work
Today, my husband discovered that whispering anything in my ear will turn me on. He turned to me and whispered 'cheeseburger' in my ear. Unfortunately, I moaned. Now he now laughs about it with our roommate. FML
by Indigo_Kitten / 08/07/2010 at 9:05pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
by Single / 08/07/2010 at 7:01am / France (Bretagne) / Love
Today, I was with my girlfriend, thinking we were alone in the house. Her little brother found us having sex on the couch, took a pic and said, "You are now both my slaves." He ran upstairs and locked his bedroom door. FML
by junior / 04/11/2010 at 4:11am / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy
Today, I was home alone. It was very dark and so I went to turn on the lights, when I heard the sound of a gun loading. I dropped to the floor but never heard a gun fire. I got up and heard the sound again. When I got lights on, I discovered it was only my printer telling me it was out of paper. FML
by OhaiiKid / 03/07/2010 at 12:02am / United States (Georgia) / Geek
Today, I learned a little lesson about consequences. Yesterday, I ate a quarter as a dare. Today, I tried to poop it out. It got stuck coming out. I had to go to the doctor and explain everything. FML
by anna14 / 02/21/2010 at 2:34pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous
Today, as I walked into my class, someone shouted at me, "Wild Snorlax Appeared! Use Your Ultra Balls!", since I am overweight and everyone in class laughed at me. I got made fun of by Pokémon nerds. FML
by snorlax / 01/19/2010 at 7:03pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was in a rush to get to the toilet, I went in and sat on the seat. Then I felt a stinging pain on my left bum cheek. I jumped up quickly to see a wasp splashing around in the bowl. It stung me, and now have a bum cheek twice its normal size, and pee all over my pants. FML
by targetlove / 01/09/2010 at 8:23pm / Australia (Western Australia) / Animals
Today, my boyfriend and I were play wrestling. I had pinned him down and was sitting on his chest when he suddenly squeezed my stomach, causing me to rip the loudest fart ever. He looked so shocked that I couldn't help but laugh. I laughed so hard that I accidentally peed on him as well. FML
by pottypattypeepants / 12/31/2009 at 3:04pm / United States (Texas) / Love
by chris / 12/23/2009 at 1:42pm / United States (California) / Work
Today, it was the last day of finals. After sleeping less than three hours in the last two days, I got in the car to go to school. For a second, I thought my steering wheel, the gas pedal, and brake pedal were all missing. That's when I realized I was sitting in the back seat. FML
by Anonymous / 12/10/2009 at 8:08am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by disney / 11/26/2009 at 11:30am / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I moved three hours away from my boyfriend for college. Even though he got accepted to the…