Mjfalcon

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Offline (the 04/25/2016 at 1:43am)

Mjfalcon

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 2 March 1993 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2773
  • Number of comments : 54
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About Mjfalcon : Football
Rock music

Im a chill guy. Message me if you want. Bye.

Mjfalcon's page activity

Visits<b>im_a_squid</b> - the 05/13/2016 at 4:00am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 6:39am<b>One_Way</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 11:15pm<b>wolfgold2</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 6:48am<b>deusetnatura</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 6:50pm<b>getrekt</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 10:23am<b>Black_Knight80</b> - the 03/08/2014 at 12:15pm<b>child_of_3_girls</b> - the 03/05/2014 at 6:08pm<b>ToxicSilence</b> - the 01/22/2014 at 5:46pm<b>ohishkabibble</b> - the 01/16/2014 at 1:02am<b>coried91</b> - the 11/19/2013 at 2:52pm<b>sgcaudell</b> - the 09/26/2013 at 10:01am<b>azan1</b> - the 06/04/2013 at 5:54pm<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 10/02/2012 at 5:39pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:48pm<b>aurynforever</b> - the 07/15/2011 at 1:41pm<b>yourmurderscenex</b> - the 03/05/2011 at 2:36pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 9:55am

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 12:39pm

Mjfalcon's FML badges

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

See all of Mjfalcon's badges

Mjfalcon's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend got scared of a fly, freaked out, and accidentally punched me in the face. FML

by Anonymous / 09/06/2010 at 12:25am / United States (North Dakota) / Love

Today, I was applying Icy Hot. I squeezed the bottle too hard making it squirt in my eye. I ran to the bathroom in agony, turned on the faucet, and slammed my face right into it. FML

by Jesska / 09/03/2010 at 3:59pm / United States (New York) / Health

Today, I was having it off with my boyfriend. He is the kind of guy that likes to keep things interesting. Just as he started climaxing, he began to meow. FML

by verno02 / 08/10/2010 at 7:58pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I misspelled the word "failure" in front of all my co-workers. Now I'm not given any writing tasks. FML

by Fml24609 / 08/09/2010 at 4:29am / United States (New York) / Work

Today, my husband discovered that whispering anything in my ear will turn me on. He turned to me and whispered 'cheeseburger' in my ear. Unfortunately, I moaned. Now he now laughs about it with our roommate. FML

by Indigo_Kitten / 08/07/2010 at 9:05pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he wanted to make the most of his 1 month X-Box Live coupon. FML

by Single / 08/07/2010 at 7:01am / France (Bretagne) / Love

Today, I was with my girlfriend, thinking we were alone in the house. Her little brother found us having sex on the couch, took a pic and said, "You are now both my slaves." He ran upstairs and locked his bedroom door. FML

by junior / 04/11/2010 at 4:11am / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy

Today, I was home alone. It was very dark and so I went to turn on the lights, when I heard the sound of a gun loading. I dropped to the floor but never heard a gun fire. I got up and heard the sound again. When I got lights on, I discovered it was only my printer telling me it was out of paper. FML

by OhaiiKid / 03/07/2010 at 12:02am / United States (Georgia) / Geek

Today, I learned a little lesson about consequences. Yesterday, I ate a quarter as a dare. Today, I tried to poop it out. It got stuck coming out. I had to go to the doctor and explain everything. FML

by anna14 / 02/21/2010 at 2:34pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, as I walked into my class, someone shouted at me, "Wild Snorlax Appeared! Use Your Ultra Balls!", since I am overweight and everyone in class laughed at me. I got made fun of by Pokémon nerds. FML

by snorlax / 01/19/2010 at 7:03pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was in a rush to get to the toilet, I went in and sat on the seat. Then I felt a stinging pain on my left bum cheek. I jumped up quickly to see a wasp splashing around in the bowl. It stung me, and now have a bum cheek twice its normal size, and pee all over my pants. FML

by targetlove / 01/09/2010 at 8:23pm / Australia (Western Australia) / Animals

Today, my boyfriend and I were play wrestling. I had pinned him down and was sitting on his chest when he suddenly squeezed my stomach, causing me to rip the loudest fart ever. He looked so shocked that I couldn't help but laugh. I laughed so hard that I accidentally peed on him as well. FML

by pottypattypeepants / 12/31/2009 at 3:04pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, at work, I brewed myself a fresh cup of coffee. I set the hot coffee onto my desk. My phone rang so I answered my coffee, spilling it all over my face and body. FML

by chris / 12/23/2009 at 1:42pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, it was the last day of finals. After sleeping less than three hours in the last two days, I got in the car to go to school. For a second, I thought my steering wheel, the gas pedal, and brake pedal were all missing. That's when I realized I was sitting in the back seat. FML

by Anonymous / 12/10/2009 at 8:08am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to Disneyworld. I fell and hit my head while jumping up and down to see Ariel. I'm a 35 year old man. FML

by disney / 11/26/2009 at 11:30am / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous