About Mjfalcon : Football
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Im a chill guy. Message me if you want. Bye.
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50 favourites
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Today, whilst driving to the store, an idiot driver found it to be okay to drive ridiculously fast in below freezing temperatures on the ice and snow. As he passed my car, I angrily gave him the finger. And then I realized I was wearing mittens. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13446) - you deserved it (20749)
On 11/25/2010 at 12:24am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, my parents asked me if I had a nice time with my girlfriend at the amusement park I took her to yesterday. She was pretty freaked out by some of the rides so without thinking I said, "Yeah, but she sure is a screamer." My parents then exchange a look and say, "Oh trust us, we know." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9542) - you deserved it (19213)
On 11/14/2010 at 2:36am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Reserved
Today, I told my parents that I wanted a little brother. My dad apparently thought it would be funny to tell me that my mom just swallowed my little brother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47345) - you deserved it (6501)
On 11/13/2010 at 2:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I tripped on a step that said "Watch your step." Two hours later, I hit my head on a sign that said "Mind your head." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21195) - you deserved it (9832)
On 11/13/2010 at 1:24am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I am 3 months pregnant. While lying on the couch with morning sickness, my boyfriend farted loudly and filled the room with a smell so horrifying that I immediately threw up all over my coffee table. He spent the next 20 minutes texting his friends about this "epic" moment. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32100) - you deserved it (5484)
On 11/09/2010 at 1:32pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (28870) - you deserved it (16266)
On 10/13/2010 at 9:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Asturias)
Today, I dropped my iPod Touch underneath concrete slab steps, and it's physically impossible to get it back. If you stand above where the iPod is, you can still hear it play music. It's like it's mocking me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28170) - you deserved it (4821)
On 09/20/2010 at 7:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, a grasshopper jumped into my car. As my boyfriend swiped at it, the grasshopper jumped onto my chest and into my shirt. Instead of helping me get it out, my boyfriend leaned back and said, "It got to second base faster than I did." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20773) - you deserved it (7501)
On 09/14/2010 at 3:27am - love - by tickyette (woman) - United States
Today, I got a call from my boyfriend saying he needed me to bail him out of jail. The crime? Masturbating in public. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31468) - you deserved it (4347)
On 09/12/2010 at 10:29pm - intimacy - by nickim756 - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my boyfriend got scared of a fly, freaked out, and accidentally punched me in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21862) - you deserved it (438)
On 09/06/2010 at 12:25am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (North Dakota)
Today, I was applying Icy Hot. I squeezed the bottle too hard making it squirt in my eye. I ran to the bathroom in agony, turned on the faucet, and slammed my face right into it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21947) - you deserved it (4653)
On 09/03/2010 at 3:59pm - health - by Jesska (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was having it off with my boyfriend. He is the kind of guy that likes to keep things interesting. Just as he started climaxing, he began to meow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24517) - you deserved it (6337)
On 08/10/2010 at 7:58pm - intimacy - by verno02 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I misspelled the word "failure" in front of all my co-workers. Now I'm not given any writing tasks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5875) - you deserved it (20004)
On 08/09/2010 at 4:29am - work - by Fml24609 - United States (New York)
Today, my husband discovered that whispering anything in my ear will turn me on. He turned to me and whispered 'cheeseburger' in my ear. Unfortunately, I moaned. Now he now laughs about it with our roommate. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20299) - you deserved it (13356)
On 08/07/2010 at 9:05pm - intimacy - by Indigo_Kitten (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he wanted to make the most of his 1 month X-Box Live coupon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29519) - you deserved it (5081)
On 08/07/2010 at 7:01am - love - by Single (woman) - France (Bretagne)
Monday 20 May 2013
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