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Offline (the 07/11/2016 at 11:39am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 2 March 1993 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3124
  • Number of comments : 54
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About Mjfalcon : Football
Rock music

Im a chill guy. Message me if you want. Bye.

Mjfalcon's page activity

Visits<b>Toonice45</b> - the 10/02/2016 at 9:38pm<b>im_a_squid</b> - the 07/11/2016 at 2:32pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 6:39am<b>One_Way</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 11:15pm<b>wolfgold2</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 6:48am<b>deusetnatura</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 6:50pm<b>getrekt</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 10:23am<b>Black_Knight80</b> - the 03/08/2014 at 12:15pm<b>child_of_3_girls</b> - the 03/05/2014 at 6:08pm<b>ToxicSilence</b> - the 01/22/2014 at 5:46pm<b>ohishkabibble</b> - the 01/16/2014 at 1:02am<b>coried91</b> - the 11/19/2013 at 2:52pm<b>sgcaudell</b> - the 09/26/2013 at 10:01am<b>azan1</b> - the 06/04/2013 at 5:54pm<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 10/02/2012 at 5:39pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:48pm<b>aurynforever</b> - the 07/15/2011 at 1:41pm<b>yourmurderscenex</b> - the 03/05/2011 at 2:36pm

Fucked!<b>Toonice45</b> - the 10/03/2016 at 3:39am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 12:39pm

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Mjfalcon's favorite FMLs

Today, while walking home from work, a young teenage girl ran up behind me and dumped a carton of milk on my head. She said, "The cow master baptizes you!" and then ran in the opposite direction, cackling madly. FML

by Anonymous / 07/29/2011 at 8:31pm / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, I locked myself in the bathroom and started spanking the ferret. I started to get really into it when my dad started pounding on the door and yelled, "Son, that's great staying power, but can you finish up already?" FML

by Anonymous / 05/06/2011 at 2:09pm / Saudi Arabia / Intimacy

Today, while bending over to get the brownies I was making out of the oven, my husband slapped my butt. I fell into the oven. FML

by Anonymous / 04/03/2011 at 11:14am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I learned that when I leave skid marks in the toilet my wife uses my toothbrush to remove them. FML

by Toothy / 04/02/2011 at 1:03am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now there's 800 pounds of sex going on in the next room, and it sounds like the invasion of Normandy in there. FML

by Anonymous / 02/04/2011 at 12:42am / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, I realized that I'll have to explain to my child that mommy and daddy met on World of Warcraft. FML

by Anonymous / 12/29/2010 at 12:20am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, whilst driving to the store, an idiot driver found it to be okay to drive ridiculously fast in below freezing temperatures on the ice and snow. As he passed my car, I angrily gave him the finger. And then I realized I was wearing mittens. FML

by Anonymous / 11/25/2010 at 12:24am / United States (Washington) / Transportation

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my parents asked me if I had a nice time with my girlfriend at the amusement park I took her to yesterday. She was pretty freaked out by some of the rides so without thinking I said, "Yeah, but she sure is a screamer." My parents then exchange a look and say, "Oh trust us, we know." FML

by Anonymous / 11/14/2010 at 2:36am / Reserved / Intimacy

Today, I told my parents that I wanted a little brother. My dad apparently thought it would be funny to tell me that my mom just swallowed my little brother. FML

by Anonymous / 11/13/2010 at 2:14am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I tripped on a step that said "Watch your step." Two hours later, I hit my head on a sign that said "Mind your head." FML

by Anonymous / 11/13/2010 at 1:24am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I am 3 months pregnant. While lying on the couch with morning sickness, my boyfriend farted loudly and filled the room with a smell so horrifying that I immediately threw up all over my coffee table. He spent the next 20 minutes texting his friends about this "epic" moment. FML

by Anonymous / 11/09/2010 at 1:32pm / United States (New York) / Health

Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML

by Anonymous / 10/13/2010 at 9:20am / Spain (Asturias) / Intimacy

Today, I dropped my iPod Touch underneath concrete slab steps, and it's physically impossible to get it back. If you stand above where the iPod is, you can still hear it play music. It's like it's mocking me. FML

by Anonymous / 09/20/2010 at 7:38pm / Canada (Ontario) / Geek

Today, a grasshopper jumped into my car. As my boyfriend swiped at it, the grasshopper jumped onto my chest and into my shirt. Instead of helping me get it out, my boyfriend leaned back and said, "It got to second base faster than I did." FML

by tickyette / 09/14/2010 at 3:27am / United States / Love

Today, I got a call from my boyfriend saying he needed me to bail him out of jail. The crime? Masturbating in public. FML

by nickim756 / 09/12/2010 at 10:29pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy