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Mjfalcon

Offline (the 10/20/2014 at 2:13am) | Search for a member

Mjfalcon

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 2 March 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1679
  • Number of comments : 54
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About Mjfalcon : Football
Rock music

Im a chill guy. Message me if you want. Bye.

Mjfalcon's page activity

Visits<b>wolfgold2</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 6:48am<b>deusetnatura</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 6:50pm<b>getrekt</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 10:23am<b>Black_Knight80</b> - the 03/08/2014 at 12:15pm<b>child_of_3_girls</b> - the 03/05/2014 at 6:08pm<b>ToxicSilence</b> - the 01/22/2014 at 5:46pm<b>ohishkabibble</b> - the 01/16/2014 at 1:02am<b>coried91</b> - the 11/19/2013 at 2:52pm<b>sgcaudell</b> - the 09/26/2013 at 10:01am<b>azan1</b> - the 06/04/2013 at 5:54pm<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 10/02/2012 at 5:39pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:48pm<b>aurynforever</b> - the 07/15/2011 at 1:41pm<b>yourmurderscenex</b> - the 03/05/2011 at 2:36pm

Mjfalcon's FML badges

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You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

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Mjfalcon's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my cat meowing, with her dilated vagina in my face, giving birth to her first litter of kittens. FML

#20099894
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35666) - you deserved it (4845)

On 10/03/2012 at 12:29pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I heard of an inevitable world-wide bacon shortage on the news. FML

#20089182
395 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28562) - you deserved it (5047)

On 09/26/2012 at 2:57am - misc - by bacon lovers worst nightmare - United States (California)

Today, as I was riding my bike, my foot slipped and I did a slow speed-tumble over the top, ripping my balls wide open. Number of stitches: too many to count. Size of balls: softball. Color: blue. FML

#20027548
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37994) - you deserved it (2203)

On 08/18/2012 at 1:15am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to turn down an offer of what seemed like some sexy time with a cute girl because my intestines were bursting with an intense desire to unleash molten lava. I rushed home to squat down, only to let out a disappointingly small piece of crud and a tiny fart. FML

#19984638
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29047) - you deserved it (5276)

On 07/26/2012 at 1:39am - intimacy - by Jarman (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, everyone found out about the strange but intense fetish I have for women physically lifting me. It all came out when my friend, a female bodybuilder, decided to grab and pick me up for a laugh. I came in my pants, in front of about twenty people. FML

#19983416
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38331) - you deserved it (8188)

On 07/25/2012 at 12:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I saw a large spider carry away the body of a dead spider in the bathroom. In my anthropology class, we learned one of the first signs of civilization is caring for the dead. First, they become civilized, and next, they take over. I will never sleep again. FML

Today, I saw a large spider carry away the body of a dead spider in the bathroom. In my anthropology class, we learned one of the first signs of civilization is caring for the dead. First, they become civilized, and next, they take over. I will never sleep again. FML

Today, I have been awake so long I hallucinated a llama in my living room. I have a medical condition that keeps me from sleeping properly. I've run out of medication. I still see the llama. FML

#19482788
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31427) - you deserved it (2658)

On 04/17/2012 at 5:38am - health - by SeeingLlamas (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was watching a boys volleyball team warming up, and I had my eye on one of them who was quite attractive. He sent the ball a little too far and it hit me in the face. He apologized, and I then for some reason replied with, "It's fine, I like balls in my face." FML

#19475030
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19197) - you deserved it (36755)

On 04/15/2012 at 9:13pm - intimacy - by lifeonfire12 (woman) - Canada

Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. FML

#19239456
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14430) - you deserved it (50056)

On 03/08/2012 at 2:03pm - intimacy - by Fraser - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, after suffering with bad constipation and having to eat special bread to get me to go, I have practically just pooped out a week's worth of food in 15 minutes, and I'm still going. I've passed the ring of fire stage, now I just can't feel my asshole. FML

#19174199
278 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35079) - you deserved it (5315)

On 02/27/2012 at 10:55am - health - by awhmaaan - United Kingdom

Today, I was talking with my uncle, when the subject of my abusive mother-in-law came up. He assured me he'd talk to her and straighten things out. Apparently this means posting on her Facebook wall threatening to "pimp-slap a bitch" if she doesn't get her "fat ass out of family business". FML

#17931369
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25173) - you deserved it (3246)

On 10/07/2011 at 10:40pm - misc - by ...... (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, my boyfriend told me that having sex with me was as good as eating crispy bacon. I don't know if I should feel complimented. FML

#17852902
316 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25719) - you deserved it (7793)

On 09/28/2011 at 12:55am - intimacy - by confused (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost my virginity to a shoe. FML

#17779717
427 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55739) - you deserved it (5496)

On 09/19/2011 at 10:39am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I told my husband that I wanted him to stay sober during the week. He responded by saying he wanted me to be a supermodel during the week. FML

#17755758
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24442) - you deserved it (8896)

On 09/16/2011 at 1:15am - love - by brinn - United States (California)



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