About Mjfalcon : Football
Rock music
Im a chill guy. Message me if you want. Bye.
Mobility
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Beginner
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, after months of a very healthy sex life with my boyfriend, he asked me to let him try anal. I'm dead-set against it, so I tried to let him down easy by jokingly saying that I would, but only if he let me try it on him first. He said, "Sure." Fuck. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19315) - you deserved it (36079)
On 02/23/2013 at 1:27pm - intimacy - by think i'm dating perdix (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)
Today, I woke up to find my boyfriend using my hand to wank. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35479) - you deserved it (6354)
On 12/28/2012 at 6:40am - intimacy - by kmtranter - United Kingdom (Brent)
Today, my co-worker had a bad cold that stuffed up his ears and nose. This wouldn't have been a problem, except that he believed his farts were silent and scentless. They were so vile, they could have killed a horse. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27057) - you deserved it (2051)
On 12/22/2012 at 3:06am - work - by Iknoweverything (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I played a game of Monopoly with my friends. Since I'm of Greek origin, they thought it would be funny to make me start with a €100,000 debt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20681) - you deserved it (3709) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 12/13/2012 at 9:25pm - money - by Money-money-money (woman) - France
Today, I was sitting cross-legged, idly jerkin' the gherkin. I guess I got slightly carried away, because I zoned out, forgot where I was aiming, and came all over the side of my face, up my nose and into my eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7407) - you deserved it (50732)
On 12/09/2012 at 11:57am - intimacy - by SamWGovan (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, my friends and I were playing truth or dare game. It was late and we were drunk, so they dared me to run naked into my neighbor's yard while yelling, "Help! The pixies took my penis!" I ran screaming right into their big family reunion. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5598) - you deserved it (26972)
On 11/21/2012 at 4:06pm - misc - by nekkidness (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I found a limp head of celery in the fridge. I thought it looked like the squid alien baby from Men in Black. After nursing it for a couple of hours, giving it food, and rocking it to sleep, my parents found me. Then I realised it was just celery. Too bad it took that long for my meds to kick in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14050) - you deserved it (4418)
On 11/07/2012 at 12:11am - misc - by Squid (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I decided to watch some porn to cheer myself up after having recently been dumped. Halfway through wanking the gibbon, I got a horrifyingly painful cramp in my foot, and cried out in pain. Ten seconds later, with my pants still down, my dad rushed in to see if I was okay. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15552) - you deserved it (9519)
On 10/27/2012 at 3:18pm - intimacy - by whoreticulturalist (man) - United Kingdom (Plymouth)
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my cat meowing, with her dilated vagina in my face, giving birth to her first litter of kittens. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28461) - you deserved it (4131)
On 10/03/2012 at 12:29pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I heard of an inevitable world-wide bacon shortage on the news. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21900) - you deserved it (3397)
On 09/26/2012 at 2:57am - misc - by bacon lovers worst nightmare - United States (California)
Today, as I was riding my bike, my foot slipped and I did a slow speed-tumble over the top, ripping my balls wide open. Number of stitches: too many to count. Size of balls: softball. Color: blue. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31224) - you deserved it (1493)
On 08/18/2012 at 1:15am - health - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I had to turn down an offer of what seemed like some sexy time with a cute girl because my intestines were bursting with an intense desire to unleash molten lava. I rushed home to squat down, only to let out a disappointingly small piece of crud and a tiny fart. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21705) - you deserved it (4364)
On 07/26/2012 at 1:39am - intimacy - by Jarman (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, everyone found out about the strange but intense fetish I have for women physically lifting me. It all came out when my friend, a female bodybuilder, decided to grab and pick me up for a laugh. I came in my pants, in front of about twenty people. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31283) - you deserved it (7152)
On 07/25/2012 at 12:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I saw a large spider carry away the body of a dead spider in the bathroom. In my anthropology class, we learned one of the first signs of civilization is caring for the dead. First, they become civilized, and next, they take over. I will never sleep again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20596) - you deserved it (3334)
On 06/30/2012 at 2:49am - animals - by BloodFaerie (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I saw a large spider carry away the body of a dead spider in the bathroom. In my anthropology class, we learned one of the first signs of civilization is caring for the dead. First, they become civilized, and next, they take over. I will never sleep again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20596) - you deserved it (3334)
On 06/30/2012 at 2:49am - animals - by BloodFaerie (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Monday 17 June 2013
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