About MisterMuffinz : Moo moo milk me! :D
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Today, as an April fools day joke, I decided to tell my mom and dad that I was gay. After an awkward silence, my mom looks at me, smiles, and says, "well, we have known for a while." She wasn't joking. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24082) - you deserved it (53434)
On 04/01/2009 at 1:13am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, my 11 year old brother walked in on me sitting on my boyfriend's ass and giving him a back massage. He tilted his head a little and then said "Aren't you guys doing it wrong? Isn't he supposed to be on top?" My boyfriend laughed and gave him a high-five. FML
I agree, your life sucks (83744) - you deserved it (23712)
On 03/23/2009 at 7:12pm - intimacy - by SLA (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (43163) - you deserved it (492746)
On 03/21/2009 at 12:46am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, my son said, "Mommy, sometimes my pee-pee goes up like a stick." I replied, "Well, honey, that's normal and okay." I then asked when it happens, to which he said, "Well, sometimes when watching Scooby Doo and Shaggy comes out dressed in lady clothes." FML
I agree, your life sucks (314420) - you deserved it (41293)
On 03/20/2009 at 12:15am - kids - by ScoobieDoo (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I woke up, completely naked, in bed with a guy I met the night before. We were both drunk the night before and I had agreed to go home with him. The reason I woke up was that someone was knocking on his bedroom door. Turns out he lives with his mom and she made us pancakes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27983) - you deserved it (78972)
On 03/17/2009 at 11:15pm - intimacy - by Nikki (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my girlfriend was giving me head while I was watching Star Trek and I accidentally called her Spock. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41371) - you deserved it (250762)
On 03/12/2009 at 5:30am - intimacy - by Noname (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)
Today, I told my boyfriend that I don't like his facial hair and that he should shave it off. He replied, "You first." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18190) - you deserved it (34170)
On 02/27/2009 at 7:34pm - misc - by bojangles (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I'm reading in the subway sitting one leg over the other. An old lady sits down next to me. After quietly examining me for about two stations she leans over to me and whispers in my ear: "Girl, sitting like all the time will make you end up with a crooked c**t". I'm a man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37906) - you deserved it (3907)
On 02/24/2009 at 3:31am - misc - by jcc (man) - Russian Federation (Moscow City)
Today, I went to the doctor with my parents. When the doctor asked if I was sexually active, I said 'Yes.' My mom laughed and said 'Good one.' My dad, for added effect said, 'Your hand doesn't count.' FML
I agree, your life sucks (54270) - you deserved it (5266)
On 02/21/2009 at 10:16pm - intimacy - by Nails (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I told my mom I was excited my boobs were getting bigger. She told me that that's what happens when you get fat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28591) - you deserved it (6230)
On 02/12/2009 at 10:52pm - misc - by yerface - United States (Texas)
Today, I got a text message. It said, "I'm so drunk. What you up to, girl?" It was my dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (64619) - you deserved it (3036)
On 02/11/2009 at 9:09pm - misc - by sober (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I took a big sip of water while on a bus. It went down the wrong pipe, causing me to cough and hack loudly. The old woman sitting across from me asked if I was okay. Jokingly, I said, "Just dying." She replied, "You too, huh?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (6387) - you deserved it (24319)
On 02/04/2009 at 10:48am - misc - by suicide (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I walked in on my porn addicted roommate watching a gynecologist exam online. He asked me to watch it with him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35981) - you deserved it (2955)
On 02/03/2009 at 4:38pm - intimacy - by Escape! (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was playing with 3 kids I look after. The middle one has just learned about sex and started chanting that I had done it with the eldest as a joke. We were in the garden and the neighbours heard. Now I am fired, have to leave the house and am being investigated by the police. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52582) - you deserved it (2221)
On 02/01/2009 at 3:54am - intimacy - by Jack - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I realized that I hate lying to my mom about having a boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4729) - you deserved it (18336)
On 01/18/2009 at 4:57pm - love - by indian:( - United States (Kentucky)
Monday 17 June 2013
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