Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Missyliz

Offline (the 01/20/2014 at 12:58am) | Search for a member

Missyliz

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 188
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Missyliz's page activity

Visits<b>mudslut712</b> - the 04/08/2014 at 7:56pm<b>broski4</b> - the 04/06/2014 at 9:43pm<b>nathansch</b> - the 04/03/2014 at 1:26pm<b>rkdstp1995</b> - the 03/22/2014 at 2:16am<b>TorturedXeno</b> - the 03/03/2014 at 1:31am<b>Juicenub</b> - the 02/28/2014 at 12:53am<b>outoftown</b> - the 01/24/2014 at 8:16pm

Missyliz's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of Missyliz's badges

Missyliz's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend drove 20 miles to come see me. The closest we got to intimacy was him showing me how he could unlock his iPhone 5s with his penis. FML

#21118643
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48243) - you deserved it (7037)

On 04/21/2014 at 12:04am - intimacy - by Taylor - United States (Iowa)

Today, I accidentally let a huge one rip while tending to an older patient at the nursing home where I work. The patient passed away shortly thereafter. Coincidence? FML

#21116703
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41532) - you deserved it (6654)

On 04/18/2014 at 9:19pm - work - by Anonymous - Norway (Nordland)

Today, I went out drinking with my tattoo artist brother-in-law. I was so wasted that I agreed to let him try working on me. I woke up with a tattoo of an animated marijuana plant smoking a cigarette. This'll look just great when I'm defending clients in court. FML

#21107817
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24026) - you deserved it (41743)

On 04/08/2014 at 6:04pm - misc - by not a dumbass pothead (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my non-English-speaking grandma bought me a new t-shirt. It would've been sweet if it didn't have the word "bondage" written on the back in pretty, bold letters. I had no choice but to wear it while we went shopping. FML

#21094283
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33399) - you deserved it (3210)

On 03/23/2014 at 12:59pm - misc - by Anonymous - Egypt

Today, I waited on a gentleman and his lady friend at my restaurant. They ordered some of the most expensive items on the menu, and I thought I'd get a nice tip. Instead, he tipped me a scrap of paper, containing a drawing of a cock jizzing on a caricature of my face, and the word "Thanks." FML

#21088206
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41662) - you deserved it (3715)

On 03/16/2014 at 2:53pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I had the cops called on me for acting suspiciously. I was using a payphone. FML

#21086220
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39944) - you deserved it (3613)

On 03/14/2014 at 1:07am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was in my Honors English class. I sneezed very loudly while my teacher was giving a lecture. I had the genius idea to say, "Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit." FML

Today, I was walking through town with my hood up and noticed people giving me funny looks. It wasn't until I got home that I realised the umbrella I was holding over my head had been closed the whole time. FML

#21079127
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36876) - you deserved it (14714)

On 03/05/2014 at 9:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Portsmouth)

Today, I got home late from work, so I decided to make myself a microwave meal. I pierced the plastic film several times. A little too loudly for my hateful bastard of a neighbor, I guess, because he called the cops on me, claiming he heard gunshots from my apartment. FML

#21077955
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41182) - you deserved it (2937)

On 03/04/2014 at 3:44pm - misc - by fuck you, jack (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I told my husband to give our dog a bath while I was at work. When I returned home, I found my dog, along with my husband, in the bath together. FML

#21074688
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40309) - you deserved it (9330)

On 03/01/2014 at 3:23am - animals - by lacy - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was doodling randomly during a meeting at work, and I noticed my drawing was beginning to look a bit like a penis. A coworker was eyeing it so I tried to make it something else by adding... oh good, now it's a penis and balls. FML

#21072961
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33871) - you deserved it (11815)

On 02/27/2014 at 6:59am - work - by doodler - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend wanted to take our relationship to the next level. I assumed since we live together that he meant marriage. I was wrong; the next level is me jacking him off with my feet. FML

#21069326
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50480) - you deserved it (6677)

On 02/23/2014 at 12:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had satanic gastric distress. Attempting to make light of this fact, and, being incredibly bored and seemingly alone at work, I managed to fart the intro to "Smoke on the Water" perfectly. Somebody clapped. FML

Today, out of boredom, I built my cat a little fort. Later, I decided to crawl inside to pet her, but as soon as I stuck my head in, she clawed me. I guess I'm not allowed in, then. FML

#21061796
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38716) - you deserved it (8525)

On 02/15/2014 at 7:50pm - animals - by unloved cat owner - United States (California)

Today, I was grading work my students had done with a sub. I realized one student had gotten hold of the teachers' edition of the textbook when I read ten papers in a row that had "Student answers may vary" as the answer to problem number four. My students can't even cheat properly. FML

#21061154
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50969) - you deserved it (5070)

On 02/15/2014 at 2:11am - work - by chinaski7628 - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Matteor's illustrated FML #2
  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: