Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Offline (the 11/21/2014 at 12:03pm) | Search for a member
This member hasn't filled in the description.
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Today, I had a job interview. Everything was going well until I noticed a picture of a dog hanging on the wall, which reminded me of the ending of Marley and Me. I started crying and had to be escorted out. FML
Today, my three year old sister asked me to go to the amusement park with her. Since I was late for work, I politely refused and said we'd go tomorrow. She punched me in the nuts so hard that I could barely walk. FML
Today, I went snowboarding and fell backwards, hitting my head on a patch of ice. When I got home, I told my brother I thought I might have a concussion. He told me I should be a man and suck it, swiftly smacking my head, causing me to pass out. FML
Today, I was talking to a friend about this stranger I kissed a few nights ago while drinking. I commented that I was ashamed of doing so, and to make matters worse, the guy was really unattractive. It turns out he was no stranger. I'd kissed my friend. FML
Today, I joined a small disaster relief group. I remarked to the big, long-haired person beside me that it was surprising that I was the only female in the group. I got a cold stare. Later I asked another volunteer about that person. He answered, "Oh, her? She's my sister." FML
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend with the cliché of the diamond ring in a champagne glass. Apparently there was an off-duty police officer across the room watching me slip the ring into the glass. He thought I was slipping in a date-rape drug and tackled me down before I could propose. FML
Today, I heard a baby crying while I was walking down the street. I walked around until I found it. In a dumpster. I immediately called the cops, completely freaking out. When the cops came, they pulled the baby out of the dumpster. It was a plastic baby doll. FML
Today, I turned on my camera to find pictures of my dad's secretary giving him a blowjob. Minutes later, I hear a scream from another room as my 12-year-old sister discovers similar pictures on HER camera. Mom and dad say it's no big deal. FML
Friday 12 December 2014