About MissSmiley613 : Heyy, Im Emily! I love to laugh&hang out with my friendss!!!
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I passed the girl I like a note asking her out, signed Mark H. She picked it up, read it, turned around and asked me, "Do you know who Mark H. is?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (59999) - you deserved it (5431)
On 04/02/2009 at 1:35am - misc - by SupaSu - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was playing Xbox live with my boyfriend. I was bored so I decided to mess around. So I put down my remote and unbuttoned his pants. Two minutes in he said, "Hurry up, we're getting killed without you. Besides you're way better at video games." FML
I agree, your life sucks (61878) - you deserved it (8632)
On 03/21/2009 at 3:18am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (461062) - you deserved it (572810)
On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, my teacher confiscated my cell phone for text messaging. He said he would give it back if the next text that I would receive was important. I prayed the guy I've been texting didn't send the dick pic he said he was going to. He did. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23599) - you deserved it (85933)
On 02/28/2009 at 12:03pm - intimacy - by textfail (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my mom decided to give me relationship advice. She told me the key to a happy/successful relationship was "letting your man explore ALL your orifices." FML
I agree, your life sucks (36943) - you deserved it (2801)
On 02/25/2009 at 12:35am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I had just opened up some porn on my laptop when my mom walked into my room, so I slammed the laptop shut. I didn't know the speakers continue to function after the laptop is closed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12435) - you deserved it (35295)
On 02/03/2009 at 5:24am - intimacy - by hitmutefirst (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I received a text message from my older brother. It said, "Ah... I want you". I hope to god it was intended for someone else. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19486) - you deserved it (1097)
On 01/30/2009 at 10:50am - misc - by Ren - United States (Illinois)
Today, I got bored on the toilet and decided to paint my nails. I ended up having to wait half an hour to wipe. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5084) - you deserved it (47707)
On 01/26/2009 at 8:17pm - misc - by crazyvulva9216 - United States (California)
Today, I tried to suck my own penis. Autofellatio. My mother walked in on me and I flipped backwards off the bed. ER and 10 stiches above my eyebrow later, I asked her not to ever bring it up again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12391) - you deserved it (54102)
On 01/26/2009 at 4:09pm - intimacy - by Boredom - United States
Today, I woke up and it was Monday. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30893) - you deserved it (6956)
On 01/26/2009 at 9:58am - misc - by buddy - United States (Michigan)
Today, in class, I asked my teacher for a "rubber". I didn't realise that in America "rubber" doesn't mean "eraser", it means condom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50179) - you deserved it (6941)
On 01/22/2009 at 7:42pm - intimacy - by TheEnglishOne - United States (California)
Monday 20 May 2013
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