About MissSmiley613 : Heyy, Im Emily! I love to laugh&hang out with my friendss!!!
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, my boyfriend decided to name his penis "Jesus". For the last two hours he's been continuously asking if I "want to be touched by Jesus" or will I "let Jesus in to spread his warmth." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14069) - you deserved it (3957)
On 02/11/2010 at 1:18am - intimacy - by syl - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I used the Print Screen button to take a picture of a really cute bag that I want for my birthday. After emailing it to my mom, I noticed I'd forgotten to close another tab in the browser. The tab had a very suggestive title, for an even more suggestive website. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3913) - you deserved it (20499)
On 01/25/2010 at 12:21pm - misc - by lala (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, my pet hedgehog thought it would be funny to roll around in the kitty litter. It was like washing a poopy cactus. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20082) - you deserved it (3124)
On 01/08/2010 at 1:23am - misc - by StinkyCactus (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I came home from a year long backpacking trip in Europe. During my absence my parents divorced, dad took the house and most of the money, sister is seven months pregnant, brother was arrested for statutory rape, and my mom pawned all my stuff to buy booze to "cope." Oh, and my fish died. FML
I agree, your life sucks (70319) - you deserved it (3935)
On 12/28/2009 at 7:08am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I realized that I'm a sleepwalker and for the past week, that dream where I was giving my roommate a blowjob was real. He just pretended it never happened. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23288) - you deserved it (3391)
On 11/28/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by chacha - United States
Today, my credit card number was stolen. The thief used it to purchase identity theft protection. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27012) - you deserved it (1672)
On 11/10/2009 at 8:17pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I took my first Viagra. It worked great, but "Wally, the one-eyed wonder-weasel" would not return to "hiding". After 4 hours, I was in mortal aching pain, and went to my doctor for a shot and sedative. My wife, the doctor, and the nurse could not stifle their laughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11067) - you deserved it (4229)
On 10/22/2009 at 12:07am - intimacy - by ItsFunnyNow (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I went to a school committee meeting. I sat opposite my boyfriend. To get his attention I began stroking his crotch area with my leg. The principal stood up 5 minutes later pulling me under the table. My tights were caught in his zipper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5461) - you deserved it (21713)
On 09/29/2009 at 3:45pm - intimacy - by clumssyXO (woman) - Hungary (Veszprem)
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. After about 10 minutes, when we change positions, he shouts: "Power Rangers - Transform!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (50639) - you deserved it (9073)
On 08/18/2009 at 7:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my family invited a bunch of their friends over for a party. At some point they decided to play some home videos from many years ago. In one of them, I was 7, I said, "Look Mommy! I can make my pee-pee bigger by doing this!" Everyone saw and laughed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37109) - you deserved it (2967)
On 07/25/2009 at 10:55am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, my family invited a bunch of their friends over for a party. At some point they decided to play some home videos from many years ago. In one of them, I was 7, I said, "Look Mommy! I can make my pee-pee bigger by doing this!" Everyone saw and laughed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37109) - you deserved it (2967)
On 07/25/2009 at 10:55am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I finally thought that my mother was okay with me being a lesbian. Then, over dinner, she turns to me and says "So, do you still think you like girls, or are you going to start being normal again?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (44792) - you deserved it (7769)
On 06/26/2009 at 10:22am - love - by shouldhaveknown (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I had an interview with IBM. For a week I did extensive research and preparation for the interview. At first the interview was going really well. I was hitting all the marks. Then just as a final casual question she asked with a smile "What does IBM stand for?". I didn't know. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28864) - you deserved it (18191)
On 06/22/2009 at 11:34pm - work - by MrZhang (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my girlfriend was sick so I took her 5 year old daughter out to eat. Half-way through our "date" she asks me loudly "Can we go back to the car now and take our clothes off?" Apparently she meant her toy dog's clothes. Face burning, we left a half laughing/half glaring crowd behind. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36821) - you deserved it (2322)
On 05/15/2009 at 1:10pm - kids - by BigBadTron (man) - United States (Utah)
Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for a while, and I was very excited to tell him the news. When I opened his office planning to surprise him with the news, I saw him making out with a man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (382037) - you deserved it (21593)
On 04/19/2009 at 12:05am - intimacy - by soontobedivorced (woman) - United States (New York)
Monday 20 May 2013
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