Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

MissSmiley613

Search for a member

MissSmiley613
  • Town/Country : Sacramento, United states
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 12 March 1993 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 894
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About MissSmiley613 : Heyy, Im Emily! I love to laugh&hang out with my friendss!!!

MissSmiley613's last visitors

Crash7777

MissSmiley613's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

MissSmiley613's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to do something that many young technologically-savvy people fear. I had to get on my dad's Facebook for him to delete a rather scandalous photo of his genitals he accidentally uploaded. FML

#12955617
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30603) - you deserved it (2139)

On 09/07/2010 at 10:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my dad walked in on me singing "Bohemian Rhapsody", while spinning in circles with the cat in my arms. I thought I was home alone. FML

#12797830
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11200) - you deserved it (24426)

On 08/29/2010 at 12:54am - animals - by Hobbsie - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I took my brother and nieces to the zoo. Two of the lions at the exhibit were mating, so I said, "They're playing leap-frog." My 4-year-old niece said, "Looks like they're fucking to me." FML

#12663575
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44035) - you deserved it (14244)

On 08/21/2010 at 12:49pm - intimacy - by mc_dreamy - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I shaved off the beard I had been forced to grow over the past 3 weeks due to forgetting my razor when away. 15 Minutes in, with half my beard gone, I realised I had got a tan everywhere but my beard. I now have a large white patch on my face. FML

#12601723
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22168) - you deserved it (9153)

On 08/18/2010 at 8:01am - misc - by Herbiee (man) - United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne)

Today, I was having it off with my boyfriend. He is the kind of guy that likes to keep things interesting. Just as he started climaxing, he began to meow. FML

#12438405
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27439) - you deserved it (7780)

On 08/10/2010 at 7:58pm - intimacy - by verno02 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was babysitting for my mum's friend. I put her little boy on my knee, and he kept pulling at my top. I asked him "are you hungry?" He replied "No, I want to see your titties." FML

#12305756
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35257) - you deserved it (9880)

On 08/04/2010 at 6:25am - intimacy - by Embarressed... (woman) - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)

Today, I was called handsome. Too bad it was coming from a trashed homeless lady, who then went on to tell me that she "likes my lips and wants to rape me." FML

#12304319
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36036) - you deserved it (3484)

On 08/04/2010 at 3:58am - intimacy - by IllJustGetYouASweaterThen (man) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I was walking down the street and spotted a man who was about 6 and a half feet tall passing by me. As he passed me, I turned and asked him "How's the weather up there?" He then turned around, spat on me, and replied "Raining." FML

#12099804
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10611) - you deserved it (105626)

On 07/25/2010 at 5:06am - misc - by spriggs (man) - United States (California)

Today, while me and my boyfriend were having sex, he moaned out his own name. FML

#10624819
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46463) - you deserved it (6373)

On 05/19/2010 at 8:12am - intimacy - by during - United States (Michigan)

Today, fifteen minutes after dinner was served, my blind date says "It's good that you're smart. Not to be rude, but most girls aren't. I mean, at some point, I'm going to pull my dick out of your mouth and then it's good if you have something interesting to say." Check please. FML

#9643258
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35345) - you deserved it (7089)

On 04/05/2010 at 1:14am - intimacy - by Hate2Date (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I had to explain to my 14-year-old sister why one must not wear the same pair of knickers for a week. FML

#8754431
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23051) - you deserved it (1842)

On 03/01/2010 at 7:14pm - health - by :( - United Kingdom (Blackpool)

Today, I had just finished riding my bike when I ran into the girl I am secretly in love with. While I walked over to her I got an erection through my spandex biking shorts. FML

#8730305
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17368) - you deserved it (8685)

On 02/28/2010 at 9:15pm - intimacy - by hornyloser770 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was woken by my alarm. I got really tangled up in my blankets, and struggled frantically to untangle myself so I could turn off the alarm. I not only kneed myself in the face, but I accidentally punched myself in the nuts too. Hard. FML

#8555278
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11014) - you deserved it (18791)

On 02/22/2010 at 2:51pm - misc - by sacked (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boyfriend decided to name his penis "Jesus". For the last two hours he's been continuously asking if I "want to be touched by Jesus" or will I "let Jesus in to spread his warmth." FML

#8119072
296 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14673) - you deserved it (4006)

On 02/11/2010 at 1:18am - intimacy - by syl - Canada (Alberta)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: