MissMustard

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Offline (the 07/22/2016 at 6:23pm)

MissMustard

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1477
  • Number of comments : 38
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About MissMustard : A fun-loving country girl from the Cotswolds, now studying in London!

MissMustard's page activity

Visits<b>cowduck7</b> - the 07/29/2016 at 3:34pm<b>tyler530</b> - the 05/18/2016 at 6:18pm<b>MitchRapp</b> - the 04/19/2016 at 2:52am<b>barisozdemir</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 8:48am<b>Nahpets</b> - the 09/03/2015 at 9:44am<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 8:24am<b>ilikevideosgames</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 8:26pm<b>Googolman</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 2:55am<b>sh07</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 12:16pm<b>ashieee143</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 2:38am<b>SadLittleTurtle</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 10:50pm<b>hazerdagreek</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 10:45pm<b>PUCKSTOPPER1976</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 3:43am<b>xXSunshineXx1</b> - the 01/06/2015 at 3:48pm<b>Zx_MaSsAcRe_xZ</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 5:16pm<b>FunnyDude1215</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 2:03am<b>JOEBOBARNOLD</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 9:33pm<b>masteraegis</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 6:00pm

Fucked!<b>MitchRapp</b> - the 04/19/2016 at 8:52am

MissMustard's FML badges

Judgmental

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You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of MissMustard's badges

MissMustard's favorite FMLs

Today, I called a tree removal company to have my diseased elm removed. When I got home from work, I was surprised to find it still there. Not as surprised as my neighbor was to discover that his tree was missing, nor as surprised as his children when they saw there was no more tree-house. FML

by Anonymous / 07/18/2013 at 10:38am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I overheard my ripped, handsome, genetically perfect brother telling my mom how "fat people" make him "nervous". I have only recently accepted my weight, after struggling for years. I now understand why my brother rarely talks to me. FML

by anonymous / 07/18/2013 at 9:53am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, my pre-teen brother has started using the entire Axe line because he believes that it will give him an "edge with the ladies". He insists on using the products at least three times a day, including before bedtime. I'm allergic to anything that is perfumed. We share a room. FML

by Anonymous / 07/18/2013 at 5:29am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, one of my cats gave birth. My other cat responded by eating the new litter in a jealous rage, then got indigestion and vomited. I had to clean up regurgitated kittens. FML

by coldstar / 07/18/2013 at 5:06am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while lying in bed, my boyfriend began to stroke my nose. "You can pick your girlfriend, but you can't pick your girlfriend's nose," I said playfully. In response, he shouted "Yes, I can!" before painfully jamming his pinky up my left nostril. FML

by booger / 07/18/2013 at 3:41am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, while texting my boyfriend, I noticed that he copies and pastes old messages so he doesn't have to write new ones. FML

Today, I was at the park playing Frisbee with my friends, when I saw a boy sitting on a bench looking rather sad. "Hey!" I yelled, and he looked up at me. I lightly threw the Frisbee in his direction, and it hit him in the face. He was blind. FML

by WasntMe / 07/17/2013 at 7:15pm / United States / Kids

Today, the family I live with decided that beer is a more important purchase than the things we need, such as detergent, soap, and toilet paper, just to name a few things. Apparently, paper towels should suffice. FML

by alyssuhh526 / 07/17/2013 at 5:51pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while walking into a hotel room, I passed by a full-sized mirror. My reflection scared me so badly that I punched the mirror, which then shattered and resulted in several cuts to my hand. FML

by igotsbadluck / 07/17/2013 at 5:44pm / United States (Tennessee) / Transportation

Today, my girlfriend guilted me into roleplaying as Justin Bieber before and during sex. I now feel physically ill. FML

by Anonymous / 07/17/2013 at 4:27pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy

Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my family. Over the next hour, a huge religious debate erupted, and my grandfather drunkenly told us all how he almost killed himself once while experimenting with auto-erotic asphyxiation. My boyfriend called us all crazy and seems to have dumped me. FML

by fuck family / 07/17/2013 at 4:13pm / Poland (Dolnoslaskie) / Love

Today, an old lady steamrolled over my foot with her wheelchair, then laughed as she slowly rolled away, leaving my toes in ruins. FML

by Anonymous / 07/17/2013 at 1:38pm / United States (Ohio) / Health

Today, I had to remove a glass bottle, complete with an ineffective pullstring, from a patient's rectum. He claimed that he'd accidentally sat on it, and later threatened to sue me for every penny if I breathed a word of it to anyone. Oops, looks like I just did. FML

by DocKreso / 06/28/2013 at 5:59pm / Croatia (Splitsko-Dalmatinska) / Work

Today, after months of incredibly painful stomach cramps, I convinced my mom that I needed to see a doctor. Not even 2 minutes into the exam, the doctor tells me that I'm heavily constipated and advised some "prune juice" to help "clear all that shit out". My mom won't stop laughing at me. FML

by Anonymous / 06/27/2013 at 11:57pm / United States / Health

Today, my girlfriend decided to wake me up from a nap by kissing me. I started kissing her back passionately, when she slapped me. Apparently, kissing her back automatically without "confirming her identity" counts as cheating. FML

by Anonymous / 05/26/2013 at 8:21pm / United States (Illinois) / Love