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MissKyoto's FML badges
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MissKyoto's favorite FMLs
by back to creepers / 12/21/2013 at 3:05pm / United Kingdom (Worcestershire) / Geek
Today, a kid from my school called me, saying he's going on vacation to Japan soon and that since I was born there, I could teach him the language. His exact words at the start of the call were: "Hey man, you speak Asian, right?" I have to be around this shithead 5 days a week. FML
by bnc / 12/14/2013 at 5:39pm / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous
by ElephantLover / 12/11/2013 at 3:14pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by FreeChocolate / 12/09/2013 at 8:51pm / United States (Ohio) / Animals
Today, I was babysitting my barely-pubescent cousins, and they started talking about giving blowjobs to their "boyfriends". When I got mad at them and told them they shouldn't be thinking of that stuff, they said I was just pissed 'cause I haven't gotten laid. FML
by bella / 12/07/2013 at 8:07pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
by Anonymous / 12/03/2013 at 9:04am / Canada (Ontario) / Work
Today, I finally password-protected my phone, to protect it from my friends' favorite game: stealing it and sending stupid texts, and hijacking my Facebook. They quickly found a new game. My phone is now locked for 24 hours due to too many attempts to guess the password. FML
by Anonymous / 11/25/2013 at 12:06pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, my parents kicked me out of the house because they were having a party. They gave me twenty bucks to go see a movie. Well, the movie ended pretty quick, but the trauma of seeing my parents in a swingers' orgy will take some time getting over. FML
by why god / 11/25/2013 at 1:16am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 11/21/2013 at 5:30pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I watched a little girl laugh while giving bread to some pigeons at a bus stop. A bus then arrived. All the pigeons moved out of the away, except one. Its head got crushed by a wheel, and some blood splattered onto the little girl's shoes, who then screamed. With laughter. FML
by B_and_W / 11/21/2013 at 6:35am / France / Kids
Today, I tried to storm out of the room during an argument, but walked face-first into our closed sliding glass door. My boyfriend laughed so hard that he had to sit down. Later, we noticed the nose mark I left. He won't let me clean it, because he wants to show it to everyone. FML
by raz_berri93 / 11/17/2013 at 12:31am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, while my hometown mayor becomes a world-famous crackhead and douche-bag, here in the UK it has come to this: when people hear my accent and ask me if I'm American, it's less embarrassing just to say, "Yeah", rather than admit I'm Canadian. FML
by unproud / 11/15/2013 at 2:05am / United Kingdom (Luton) / Miscellaneous
Today, while chatting to my mother, I tried to show her a funny website by pasting the URL into a message. After I sent the message, I realised that my browser hadn't copied the URL I wanted to send her, and that I'd actually pasted the previous URL I copied. It was porn. FML
by Anonymous / 11/14/2013 at 5:57am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous
by BioChickthcfy / 11/13/2013 at 5:27pm / United States (Illinois) / Work
Today, the day before I'm supposed to leave for a long-anticipated trip to Europe, my mother admitted that she's never paid for it. She only told me she did so I would stop hinting that I wanted to go. I gave up Christmas for this trip. FML
by MyUsernameIsBest / 11/12/2013 at 12:45am / United States (California) / Money
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…
- Today, I went over to my crush's house for the first time. Everything was going great until his dog… Today, I was talking to a boy I'm interested in and tried to make conversation while taking a sip… Today, I was at drama club, rehearsing for a play I'm in. But I had to leave early and so I went up…