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MissFortune

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MissFortune
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 13187
  • Number of comments : 74
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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MissFortune's favorite FMLs

Today, I was stepping out of the shower while home alone. I heard voices coming from the living room. I grabbed a bat to defend my self and ran into the living room. I slipped on my tile floor and smashed my TV with the bat. No one was in my house but I left my radio turned on. FML

#159713
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15236) - you deserved it (38881)

On 02/28/2009 at 8:08am - misc - by Slipperywhenwet (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I fell out of the shower. It was still on. Bracing my fall, I reached into the toilet. It wasn't flushed. FML

#151604
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41333) - you deserved it (12824)

On 02/27/2009 at 10:18am - misc - by Ackbar (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went to go get a haircut and I asked how much it was for a haircut, shampoo, and a blow job. I meant to say blow dry. FML

#145421
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16296) - you deserved it (48253)

On 02/26/2009 at 6:21pm - misc - by Stixchop (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to the store to buy some condoms for my girlfriend, Kim and I. I was in a rush and when I looked at the cashier realized it was her father. Nervous and hoping to reassure him, I go "don't worry, I'm not using these with Kim." That didn't help. FML

#107795
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22994) - you deserved it (62282)

On 02/22/2009 at 8:38pm - intimacy - by madfather (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to the store to buy some condoms for my girlfriend, Kim and I. I was in a rush and when I looked at the cashier realized it was her father. Nervous and hoping to reassure him, I go "don't worry, I'm not using these with Kim." That didn't help. FML

#107795
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22994) - you deserved it (62282)

On 02/22/2009 at 8:38pm - intimacy - by madfather (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I dropped my 400 dollar iphone, that's been through toilets and 6 foot falls, on a walmart floor and shattered the screen. I managed, however, to catch the 2 dollar macaroni and cheese before it hit the ground. FML

#60521
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16508) - you deserved it (25712)

On 02/17/2009 at 12:15pm - misc - by noname (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I decided to watch some porn before bed. The lights were off and my roommate was already asleep behind me. I put on my noise-canceling headphones and turned up the volume all the way. After a few strokes my roommate got up and plugged in the headphones for me. FML

#55493
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8133) - you deserved it (56850)

On 02/16/2009 at 7:24pm - misc - by lunarboy (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I submitted my picture to a rating website. It was rejected because I didn't clarify which person I was. The picture was of my dog and me. FML

#50686
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44715) - you deserved it (6064)

On 02/16/2009 at 12:45am - animals - by Ugh - United States (California)

Today, while in our communal showers in the highschool football locker room, I started to swing my penis around because it feels good and I was alone. Two minutes later the rest of the team hops into the shower with me. 30 dudes, one self-induced boner. FML

#21808
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8994) - you deserved it (62163)

On 02/10/2009 at 7:01pm - intimacy - by JLoistheBomb (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I had a meeting at work. My boss was there as well as her boss, and a few other managers and directors. We started discussing politics in the context of our latest project. I tried to say "erratic election". I almost succeeded. FML

#12756
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20330) - you deserved it (4992)

On 02/07/2009 at 12:44am - misc - by Flubber (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was eating ice cream and I noticed some on my jeans so I wiped it off with my finger and licked it. It was bird shit. FML

#9438
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43975) - you deserved it (13049)

On 02/05/2009 at 8:23am - animals - by #201 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was waiting after work in a parking lot for my ride and was dancing a little to keep warm. Next thing I know the cops pull up to me and said that someone called in to report someone dancing in an empty parking lot. FML

#4312
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20489) - you deserved it (2310)

On 01/31/2009 at 7:01pm - misc - by HumanNature - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I received a text message from my older brother. It said, "Ah... I want you". I hope to god it was intended for someone else. FML

#3715
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23596) - you deserved it (1529)

On 01/30/2009 at 10:50am - misc - by Ren - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found a guy getting out of my car with my GPS. He started running and I chased him. We eventually reached a dead end and he gave it back to me. I took it back from him and said, "Sorry..." FML

#3430
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19206) - you deserved it (5026)

On 01/29/2009 at 4:34pm - misc - by FailBear - United States (California)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and as I pulled out to finish I slipped and ended up punching her in the stomach, I came while she was writhing in pain. FML

#2899
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27736) - you deserved it (8703)

On 01/27/2009 at 5:26pm - intimacy - by ottawaaa - Canada (Ontario)



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