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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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MissFortune

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MissFortune
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 12430
  • Number of comments : 74
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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MissFortune's favorite FMLs

Today, my fiance got out of the shower, completely shaved. I went over to her, wrapped her in a hug and asked her what the occasion was. She pulled away and said that she had a gyno appointment. My fiance will clean up for the gyno, but not for me. FML

#1358380 (271)

I agree, your life sucks (42332) - you deserved it (7203)

On 04/26/2009 at 3:15pm - love - by jimboxo (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out that the noise I thought was a mouse in my room was a water bottle shaking when my refrigerator turned on. I stayed up till 4am looking for a mouse that didn't exist. FML

#1351662 (56)

I agree, your life sucks (13105) - you deserved it (30378)

On 04/26/2009 at 11:13am - animals - by alikat (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my alarm went off. I reached to swat it, missed, slipped, smacked my face on my dresser, and fell on the floor. As I picked myself up off the floor, I hit my head on the open top drawer of my other dresser. In 30 seconds of consciousness, I was attacked by two pieces of furniture. FML

#1250407 (112)

I agree, your life sucks (44678) - you deserved it (7552)

On 04/23/2009 at 6:45am - misc - by DBR (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I locked my keys in my car, after spending 20 minutes on the phone with AAA, and then waiting a half hour the guy showed up to unlock my car, he stuck his hand in the drivers side window and said " You couldn't just reach in"? I forgot I left he window open. FML

#1054531 (155)

I agree, your life sucks (7527) - you deserved it (73939)

On 04/17/2009 at 12:49pm - misc - by .... (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was babysitting my neighbor's kid. We were playing in the yard, when he fell and got a small scratch on his leg. I gasp, and he takes a huge breath in and yells, "FUUUCK!!!" as loud as possible. The parents thought it was me, and the mother slapped me in the face. FML

#900029 (176)

I agree, your life sucks (55256) - you deserved it (1924)

On 04/10/2009 at 11:35am - kids - by mandy (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was walking out of a Starbucks and saw someone walking out behind me, thinking it would be the nice thing to do I held the door open. I was holding the door for about 30 seconds before realizing I was holding the door for my own shadow. FML

#828379 (124)

I agree, your life sucks (14179) - you deserved it (46800)

On 04/06/2009 at 12:14am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was giving a lecture to my class I heard a phone go off. Aggravated and exhausted, I asked everyone to turn their phones off. Then the phone rang again. I lost my shit and spent the next half hour calling my students a bunch of "technology whores". Then I realized the phone was mine. FML

#681021 (201)

I agree, your life sucks (7774) - you deserved it (117716)

On 03/29/2009 at 2:41pm - misc - by emkaycutie (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, it's my 18th birthday. My parents got me a $5 gift certificate to Itunes. It came for free with the iPhone they just bought my sister for her middle school graduation. FML

#580113 (529)

I agree, your life sucks (335310) - you deserved it (16552)

On 03/24/2009 at 5:15pm - misc - by happybirthday (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I got to my underground parking garage at work and saw my boss pulling into a spot. I thought I would show him my reverse parking skills and decided to park beside him. As I was pulling in he opened his door to get out and I smashed into it, nearly running him over. FML

#488683 (57)

I agree, your life sucks (11481) - you deserved it (49796)

On 03/20/2009 at 1:11pm - work - by mikej1985 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got a call from the hospital that my fiance was in the ER. When I arrived at the hospital they told me that he had a heart attack while making love. FML

#469613 (244)

I agree, your life sucks (208678) - you deserved it (7652)

On 03/19/2009 at 4:45pm - intimacy - by jmoney (woman) - United States

Today, I woke up at three in the morning when two cops busted in the door to my apartment and a frantic voice on my cellphone saying "Sir? Sir? Are you all right? Sir?" Turns out I had been having a nightmare and dreamed I called 911. I actually did. FML

#440568 (105)

I agree, your life sucks (56009) - you deserved it (6266)

On 03/18/2009 at 2:45pm - misc - by Miller_Time (man) - United States

Today, I had a meeting with my super-hot TA. When I got to her office, she complimented me for being early, to which I thoughtfully replied "oh I usually come early." She laughed. FML

#379796 (120)

I agree, your life sucks (44305) - you deserved it (25475)

On 03/16/2009 at 1:40pm - misc - by SmoothTalker (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I got a $200 ticket mailed to me for drunk driving in Maryland. I have never been pulled over for drunk driving and I have never been to Maryland. FML

#290845 (76)

I agree, your life sucks (73743) - you deserved it (2587)

On 03/12/2009 at 8:38pm - money - by Noname (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got back to my apartment from being away for the past week on Spring break. I found the locks on my apartment changed and all my things on the curb, many of them broken or stolen. I ran to the leasing office to see what had happened. Turns out it was an accounting error on their part. FML

#250263 (85)

I agree, your life sucks (72547) - you deserved it (1807)

On 03/09/2009 at 8:12am - misc - by Homeless (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, at a hard rock concert, a bunch of guys accidentally knocked down a port-a-potty while moshing. I was inside that port-a-potty. FML

#231694 (140)

I agree, your life sucks (144657) - you deserved it (9787)

On 03/07/2009 at 12:51am - misc - by shit_upon_literally (woman) - United States (New York)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.