This member hasn't filled in the description.
Today, my fiance got out of the shower, completely shaved. I went over to her, wrapped her in a hug and asked her what the occasion was. She pulled away and said that she had a gyno appointment. My fiance will clean up for the gyno, but not for me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37942) - you totally deserved it (6268)
On 04/26/2009 at 3:15pm - love - by jimboxo (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I found out that the noise I thought was a mouse in my room was a water bottle shaking when my refrigerator turned on. I stayed up till 4am looking for a mouse that didn't exist. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11515) - you totally deserved it (28186)
On 04/26/2009 at 11:13am - misc - by alikat (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, my alarm went off. I reached to swat it, missed, slipped, smacked my face on my dresser, and fell on the floor. As I picked myself up off the floor, I hit my head on the open top drawer of my other dresser. In 30 seconds of consciousness, I was attacked by two pieces of furniture. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39822) - you totally deserved it (6462)
On 04/23/2009 at 6:45am - misc - by DBR (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I locked my keys in my car, after spending 20 minutes on the phone with AAA, and then waiting a half hour the guy showed up to unlock my car, he stuck his hand in the drivers side window and said " You couldn't just reach in"? I forgot I left he window open. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5630) - you totally deserved it (63710)
On 04/17/2009 at 12:49pm - misc - by .... (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was reading a text from my girlfriend as i was paying for my shopping in a supermarket. As i was thinking what to reply, the woman behind the counter handed me my change. I got confused and said "Thank you, I love you!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (11657) - you totally deserved it (43791)
On 04/12/2009 at 7:12am - misc - by Johnmac88 (man) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I was babysitting my neighbor's kid. We were playing in the yard, when he fell and got a small scratch on his leg. I gasp, and he takes a huge breath in and yells, "FUUUCK!!!" as loud as possible. The parents thought it was me, and the mother slapped me in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49032) - you totally deserved it (1369)
On 04/10/2009 at 11:35am - kids - by mandy (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was walking out of a Starbucks and saw someone walking out behind me, thinking it would be the nice thing to do I held the door open. I was holding the door for about 30 seconds before realizing I was holding the door for my own shadow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12173) - you totally deserved it (42545)
On 04/06/2009 at 12:14am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was giving a lecture to my class I heard a phone go off. Aggravated and exhausted, I asked everyone to turn their phones off. Then the phone rang again. I lost my shit and spent the next half hour calling my students a bunch of "technology whores". Then I realized the phone was mine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5184) - you totally deserved it (91182)
On 03/29/2009 at 2:41pm - misc - by emkaycutie (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I came home to find a puppy in my backyard. Thinking it was lost or a stray I took it to the pound. My boyfriend came home and asked me if I had seen my present. The puppy. We went back to the pound to get it, but it had already been sold. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20912) - you totally deserved it (45854)
On 03/28/2009 at 11:13pm - misc - by puppy (woman) - United States (Louisiana)
Today, it's my 18th birthday. My parents got me a $5 gift certificate to Itunes. It came for free with the iPhone they just bought my sister for her middle school graduation. FML
I agree, your life sucks (158335) - you totally deserved it (4847)
On 03/24/2009 at 5:15pm - misc - by happybirthday (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I got to my underground parking garage at work and saw my boss pulling into a spot. I thought I would show him my reverse parking skills and decided to park beside him. As I was pulling in he opened his door to get out and I smashed into it, nearly running him over. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9879) - you totally deserved it (45659)
On 03/20/2009 at 1:11pm - work - by mikej1985 (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I got a call from the hospital that my fiance was in the ER. When I arrived at the hospital they told me that he had a heart attack while having making love. FML
I agree, your life sucks (163060) - you totally deserved it (4552)
On 03/19/2009 at 4:45pm - intimacy - by jmoney (woman) - United States
Today, I woke up at three in the morning when two cops busted in the door to my apartment and a frantic voice on my cellphone saying "Sir? Sir? Are you all right? Sir?" Turns out I had been having a nightmare and dreamed I called 911. I actually did. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50608) - you totally deserved it (5441)
On 03/18/2009 at 2:45pm - misc - by Miller_Time (man) - United States
Today, I had a meeting with my super-hot TA. When I got to her office, she complimented me for being early, to which I thoughtfully replied "oh I usually come early." She laughed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39990) - you totally deserved it (23240)
On 03/16/2009 at 1:40pm - misc - by SmoothTalker (man) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I got a $200 ticket mailed to me for drunk driving in Maryland. I have never been pulled over for drunk driving and I have never been to Maryland. FML
I agree, your life sucks (63289) - you totally deserved it (1776)
On 03/12/2009 at 8:38pm - money - by Noname (woman) - United States (New York)
