About MissDarkness : The devil made me do it!
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You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
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MissDarkness's favorite FMLs
by allbrokeup / 12/01/2012 at 6:54pm / Norway (Rogaland) / Love
Today, I went to Hollister with my grandmother. She immediately started yelling about the music being too loud, and ordered the staff to "shut the damn thing off". She was yelling at a bunch of mannequins. FML
by time to put you down, gran / 12/01/2012 at 5:53pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, to scare my little brother I dressed up as the killer from the Scream movies. The outfit was a little too long on me, and I ended up falling down the stairs. Not only was he doubled over laughing, but so were the people in the emergency room. FML
by fieldmarshalclitter / 12/01/2012 at 3:21pm / United States / Health
Today, my husband discovered poking me in my belly button makes me have to pee, sometimes it's uncontrollable and happens immediately. He thinks it's hilarious and decided it's his new favorite game. FML
by Anonymous / 12/01/2012 at 12:01pm / United States (Oregon) / Love
by me. / 12/01/2012 at 9:54am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I brought a boy over to my house to help with a history project. My mom suddenly swooped in and bombarded him with questions about his and my sex life, and how she wants to have exactly four grandchildren. FML
by Anonymous / 12/01/2012 at 1:06am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by julia / 11/30/2012 at 8:02pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
by Atletic / 11/30/2012 at 2:30am / United States (New York) / Health
Today, I was going to give my baby daughter an empty Pringles tin to play with on the floor. I saw some crumbs at the bottom, so I emptied the can in my mouth before I gave it to her. I crunched hard and spat them out, realizing my boyfriend had just cut his toenails into the can. FML
by lizzard0416 / 11/29/2012 at 10:00pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was waiting in a doctor's office when I was approached by an elderly woman. She told me all about the ripping of her stitches in a very private place, in exhaustive detail. Of course, today was the day my doctor chose to be an hour late. FML
by Anonymous / 11/28/2012 at 7:57pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health
by Anonymous / 11/28/2012 at 1:32am / United States (Wisconsin) / Love
by Bliggins / 11/27/2012 at 10:08pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Love
Today, my husband ran a nice warm bubble bath with extra bubbles. I undressed and slid down into the tub only to have the most ungodly pain go up my backside. Turns out he knocked his razor into the water when he added the bubbles. I now have two butt cracks. FML
by Cracky / 11/27/2012 at 9:32am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
Today, after being single for a while now, I unwillingly went on a blind date with a guy my friend convinced me would be perfect for me. He took me to McDonald's; his father was with him the whole entire time. He is 27. FML
by N / 11/26/2012 at 10:13pm / Denmark (Hovedstaden) / Love
Today, my boyfriend dumped me by throwing my stuff out of his place, and accusing me of cheating while yelling, "Cheater, cheater! Pumpkin eater!" When I tried explaining that I have no clue what he's talking about, he started exclaiming, "Liar, liar! Pants on fire!" FML
by imnotacheateryouimmaturefuck / 11/26/2012 at 8:41pm / United States (California) / Love
- Today, after leaving my workplace, I realized that I forgot some important work papers. When I went… Today, while I was going down on my girlfriend, she fell asleep. She said she was too tired to fake… Today, as my girlfriend and I were making out, I slowly took my clothes off and revealed my body to…