Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

MissDarkness

Offline (the 07/24/2015 at 1:43am) | Search for a member

MissDarkness

38Fucked!

MissDarknessMissDarkness
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 11 September 1983 (31 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 17125
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About MissDarkness : The devil made me do it!

MissDarkness's page activity

Visits<b>babeybazooka</b> - 18 hours ago<b>creeperdevon</b> - 19 hours ago<b>apcsox</b> - 24 hours ago<b>terspal</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 1:57pm<b>jth1623</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 2:02am<b>annmarie_124</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 8:40pm<b>domiqua</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 7:34pm<b>zoulou48</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 11:25am<b>ForeverSilent101</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 8:23pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 11:14am<b>andy594328</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 8:04am<b>MrsJellyBean</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 2:41am<b>Enderkate4</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 12:59am<b>MELKOZAR</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 5:40pm<b>BigxXxDeal</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 12:24pm<b>NodakN8V</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 12:14pm<b>noadditives</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 11:39am<b>hussamhasi</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 10:52am

Fucked!<b>Tander</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 3:52pm<b>iffy</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 1:15pm<b>Zee_Mills</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 12:26pm<b>nana_star</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 7:56am<b>MELKOZAR</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 4:36am<b>MomentoMori</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 2:43am<b>NodakN8V</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 9:35pm<b>missa8604</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 10:34pm<b>creeperdevon</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 6:06am<b>tranced_</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 4:26am<b>bps315</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 3:07am<b>apcsox</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 12:41am<b>Mr_Saikaly</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 11:40am<b>Dougie_Bee</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 7:03am<b>Urpoppy</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 5:45am<b>saffy66</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 5:45am<b>cOOkiEzRgOOd</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 4:30am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 2:41am

MissDarkness's FML badges

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of MissDarkness's badges

MissDarkness's favorite FMLs

Today, I was screaming at my neighbor to shut his dog up. After 30 minutes of bellowing, he yelled back that it was my dog that was barking. He was right. FML

#18622052
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7040) - you deserved it (48642)

On 12/27/2011 at 2:12am - misc - by Yo mom - United States (California)

Today, I found out that, when mad at us, my son picks the tops off his shoulder-pimples and sprinkles them in our food. FML

#18559363
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42920) - you deserved it (5118)

On 12/20/2011 at 2:45am - kids - by Pimpleeater (woman) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I told my boyfriend I was ovulating. He said he didn't want to have sex because he was afraid of getting eggs on his penis. He then compared it to having sex with a fish. FML

#18456086
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33769) - you deserved it (4710)

On 12/07/2011 at 9:31pm - intimacy - by journey_Jeanne - United States (California)

Today, a man tried to rob the winery I worked at by knife-point. I managed to scare him off by throwing a bottle of wine at him. My boss fired me because I broke a $25 bottle of wine. FML

#18423886
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38560) - you deserved it (2452)

On 12/04/2011 at 12:19am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was walking to the kitchen in the dark. Something caught my eye and I turned to see a man standing in the corner, clear as day. I jumped and closed my eyes for a split second. When I opened them, he was nowhere to be seen. I'm now terrified to live in my own home. FML

#18338481
493 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48353) - you deserved it (4536)

On 11/24/2011 at 3:30pm - misc - by haunted (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I learned that my roommate, the one in charge of the cooking, never washes her hands beforehand. According to her, it boosts her immune system. FML

#18297525
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26563) - you deserved it (3818)

On 11/20/2011 at 12:10pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, at my job as a cocktail server in a bar, a group of good looking ladies sat in my section. As I was finishing up with the table next to them I overheard one of them saying, "I hope we don't get that guy, I want a sexy waiter tonight." FML

#18286686
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34860) - you deserved it (2854)

On 11/19/2011 at 2:58am - misc - by Tyler - United States (Iowa)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. My mum walked in and told him to pull out and show her that he was wearing a condom, and not just saying he was. FML

#18200253
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59360) - you deserved it (8746)

On 11/09/2011 at 7:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my girlfriend came to my house crying because the guy who she has been cheating on me with doesn't want to be with her anymore. FML

#18163904
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57096) - you deserved it (4092)

On 11/05/2011 at 11:40am - love - by oink401 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mom learned how to use the text messaging on her smartphone. I've received 37 already, and she calls after every single one to make sure I understood her. FML

#18137674
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36902) - you deserved it (3007)

On 11/02/2011 at 11:15am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was almost out of conditioner, despite having just bought some. Apparently, my boyfriend has been using it to condition his pubes. He thinks doing this will make me want to give him more blowjobs. FML

#18123104
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29478) - you deserved it (4911)

On 10/31/2011 at 7:29pm - intimacy - by silkysmooth (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, working as an EMT on an ambulance, we had a patient who refused to accept that he had a massive GI bleed, despite the fact that bloody stool was flowing from his anus all over my ambulance. To make things worse, my EMT ride-along student puked all over the patient. FML

#18069219
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28258) - you deserved it (1905)

On 10/25/2011 at 12:30am - work - by fire1 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was giving a PowerPoint presentation in class. When I put my flash drive into the computer, my folder opened up and a nude picture of myself popped right up on a 110 inch projector screen for all 35 students to see. This is a 16 week course. FML

#18044835
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15310) - you deserved it (59048)

On 10/22/2011 at 9:25am - misc - by jaymash - United States (Michigan)

Today, my five-year-old daughter came home from school. It was cold and she was very tired. I said, "Take off your socks and blow your nose." She took off her socks and blew her nose into them. FML

#18044688
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24902) - you deserved it (17595) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/22/2011 at 8:40am - kids - by titoutou222 - France

Today, I was relaxing at home while my boyfriend played with his hamster. After a while of silence, my boyfriend came over and put his fingers next to my face. Trying to be cute, I stuck his fingers in my mouth and sucked on them. Turns out he was trying to show me how bad hamster pee smells. FML

#18043699
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17006) - you deserved it (48231)

On 10/22/2011 at 2:10am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)



FML's blog

  • Feeling shitty? Write to Auntie Bernie!
  • It's a new summer, so here's a new feature. OK, that doesn't mean much, but you've got to start somewhere. The idea came from the fact that we get sent a lot of FMLs that touch us, in our heart of…

Friday 24 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: