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MissDarkness

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MissDarkness

3Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 11 September 1983 (31 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 7039
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About MissDarkness : The devil made me do it!

MissDarkness's page activity

Visits<b>S232Flash</b> - 16 hours ago<b>DeeTrain420</b> - yesterday at 1:40pm<b>KawaiiSushii</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 11:14am<b>bomberos_08</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 11:02am<b>GrinchFu1</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 3:13am<b>mindthief</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 1:21am<b>thenick_m</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 12:49am<b>MomentoMori</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 5:38pm<b>ndnpride88</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 1:01am<b>heffastera</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 2:20pm<b>Larissa24</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 11:53am<b>relaxeazy</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 2:11am<b>C3S4R_V4R3L4</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 11:49pm<b>spockadelic</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 8:37pm<b>bingo__O</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 2:39pm<b>boredSOLDIER</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 1:33pm<b>gavdarv</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 11:12am<b>CEC710</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 3:24am

Liked!<b>spockadelic</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 2:37am<b>jenkelo</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 8:02pm<b>RockUntilYouDie</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 2:55pm

MissDarkness's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of MissDarkness's badges

MissDarkness's favorite FMLs

Today, after having had sex with my girlfriend for the first time the night before, she went to the doctor. He said she's still physically a virgin. FML

#18015213
321 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51055) - you deserved it (8040)

On 10/18/2011 at 1:34pm - intimacy - by Mini-wanker (man) - United States (New York)

Today, while performing a rectal exam on my female patient, I inadvertently said, "Okay, you're going to feel some pleasure now." I meant "pressure". Her husband was in the room. FML

#18014569
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42147) - you deserved it (8540)

On 10/18/2011 at 11:01am - intimacy - by imy - United States (Texas)

Today, for our 3rd anniversary, I gave my boyfriend a watch, courtesy of Rolex. He gave me herpes, courtesy of his other girlfriend. FML

#18014393
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49973) - you deserved it (4550)

On 10/18/2011 at 10:16am - health - by stdpositivenow (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend and I were going to have sex for the first time. He didn't know how to take off my bra and insisted that he'd figure it out on his own. He gave up a couple seconds later and played video games instead. FML

#18012444
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37256) - you deserved it (5737)

On 10/18/2011 at 12:50am - intimacy - by Unknown - United States (California)

Today, my 28-year-old brother who has been pranking me all my life, put a chocolate cupcake on my chair. I sat on it, with my white dress. On my wedding day. FML

#18004959
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64401) - you deserved it (3884)

On 10/17/2011 at 4:39am - misc - by cupcake_butt - United States

Today, I was in a public restroom. The guy in the urinal next to me was making loud sounds of discomfort. I ignored him and finished up. I turned around to be greeted by his red swollen beehive of a crotch, and him asking, "Is my penis supposed to look like this?" FML

#18003683
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33858) - you deserved it (2390)

On 10/17/2011 at 12:20am - health - by blarp - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had to take my son to the emergency room for shooting himself in the ass with a BB gun. FML

#17989700
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27060) - you deserved it (4619)

On 10/15/2011 at 1:05pm - kids - by myfamilyisodd (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my brother in law got into a fight with my husband. My pregnant sister was yelling at her husband to stop beating my husband up. When I came into the room, I asked why they were fighting. You'll never guess who the real father of my sister's baby is. FML

#17977094
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64038) - you deserved it (3199)

On 10/13/2011 at 7:20pm - love - by Good sister (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend informed me that to save money, he's been using the same condom for the last month. FML

#17974807
286 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49146) - you deserved it (5586)

On 10/13/2011 at 12:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my mom yelled at me because I refused to lend her money. The reason I won't lend her money? The last time I did, she and my dad went out and bought a Macbook and a new car instead of paying bills. Apparently I'm being 'selfish' by keeping my own money and putting it towards university. FML

#17951348
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35717) - you deserved it (2204)

On 10/10/2011 at 11:24am - misc - by Anon (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at work I got an urgent message from my boyfriend that there was an emergency and I should come home immediately. I took my last personal day of the month and drove the half-hour home. The emergency? The cat had vomited on the comforter. FML

#17901158
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26070) - you deserved it (3106)

On 10/04/2011 at 12:48am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, my 20 year old daughter started ranting to me about her latest boyfriend's erectile problems. Trying to be a good dad, I told her all I knew about how to get the boy fixed. My wife decided to stick her head in and say, "Listen to your dad, hun. He knows all about this kind of thing." FML

#17897207
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31642) - you deserved it (5039)

On 10/03/2011 at 5:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I got mad at my 4 year old son for cussing me out. Afterwards, I went upstairs to get ready for the day. When I came back downstairs I found him pooping on my brand new leather couch. FML

#17880683
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27055) - you deserved it (10585)

On 10/01/2011 at 7:10pm - kids - by kewtness_17 - United States (Texas)

Today, at football practice, a 200lb lineman ended up landing on my stomach. The weight made me shit myself. My new nickname is "Muddbutt". FML

#17880531
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31650) - you deserved it (4172)

On 10/01/2011 at 6:45pm - misc - by FirstStringQB - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend bought me a gorgeous ring that I fell in love with. As he slid the ring on my finger for the first time, he started moving it up and down my finger and making loud sex sounds, completely ruining the romantic moment. FML



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  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

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