About MissDarkness : The devil made me do it!
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You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
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MissDarkness's favorite FMLs
Today, I got into a fight with my mother. Her idea of a birthday present to me is buying me a husband. Yes, buying. She told an asshat she found online about my trust fund, and now they're both trying to put together "the wedding of the millennium". She still doesn't understand why I'm mad. FML
by mn_shr / 10/25/2013 at 9:25pm / Qatar (Ad Dawhah) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend told me how jealous he gets when I "hang out" with Dylan. Dylan is the 5-year-old boy whom I babysit every day. My boyfriend wants me to stop, because apparently Dylan cockblocks him. FML
by Anonymous / 10/25/2013 at 8:49pm / United States (Michigan) / Love
Today, I took my girlfriend to meet my parents at a family dinner. There was plenty of alcohol on offer, as is normal at our get-togethers. She got blind drunk and ended up crying to my mum about how I can't please her because I have a small penis and my oral sucks. FML
by Dick the Greater / 10/25/2013 at 6:08pm / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 10/25/2013 at 5:39pm / United States (Ohio) / Love
by other woman / 10/21/2013 at 12:42pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, my father was taking pictures of my friend and me as we got ready for homecoming. After the pictures were taken, he offered to show us. He scrolled one picture too far and ended up showing us a picture of his penis. FML
by Female_Lucifer / 10/20/2013 at 9:02am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
Today, after recently complaining that the reality show "The Great Norway Adventure" portrays us as a country of nationalistic rednecks, I saw my drunk dad chasing my uncle on a tractor while bellowing the national anthem at the top of his lungs. FML
by overly nationalistic redneck / 10/19/2013 at 3:37pm / Norway (Hordaland) / Miscellaneous
Today, my otherwise lovely boyfriend of a month showed his true colors. He freaked out when he learned that I use tampons instead of pads. He yelled that using them is like cheating on him, because his penis is the only thing that should ever enter me. FML
by O-|---<=~ / 10/18/2013 at 7:01pm / United States (Washington) / Love
by TiredMum / 10/16/2013 at 9:33am / United States (Washington) / Kids
by highlydisgusted / 10/15/2013 at 11:10pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by secretsmakefriends / 10/15/2013 at 5:43pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
Today, my parents dropped by my new house, and my mother offered to tidy up for me while I was out. After they left, I noticed that her "tidying up" included throwing out all the pictures of my girlfriend and replacing them with pictures of herself. FML
by Anonymous / 10/15/2013 at 4:52pm / United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire) / Miscellaneous
by hes / 10/15/2013 at 6:10am / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 10/15/2013 at 2:37am / United States / Miscellaneous
by zzfreakshow / 10/14/2013 at 8:16pm / United States (California) / Animals
- Today, I got into a fight with my boyfriend. The only thing he could think of to cheer me up was to… Today, I took a shower with my boyfriend. I tried to be adventurous and went to give him a blowjob,… Today, I broke a nail at school. The edge kept getting caught on things, so I thought I could file…