Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About MissAimeeAngel : So I guess you came all the way here in order to learn a little more about me, right? Well I'd hate to disappoint, so here goes a little bit about myself: I'm currently a student (at two separate campuses) working (VERY hard) towards my BSN and I also design and make jewelry for an online store (during my very limited spare time). Kickboxing and boxing are my life, I started taking classes when I was 13 and never looked back (I practice as often as my tight schedule allows); also, I am currently employed as a CNA (and lackey, though I have an "official" title) at a naval hospital. Ummm yeah, that's enough about me for now...hope it was good for you 'cuz it was definately good for me. As you can probably already tell, I am very busy so yeah, got to go!
Check out: gypsytbs.com (if you're cool)
Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
The rules are the rules
Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I was getting pretty horny, and I thought some dirty talk would turn him on. Amid my panting, I breathed the words, "Fuck me." He then stopped and said, "Excuse me, I don't like hearing that language." and wouldn't continue until I corrected myself. FML
Today, I was handing candy to a little boy who was trick or treating by himself. He was small enough to grab the candy and run past me into my house. I've been searching my house for two hours and still can't find him. I'm afraid to go to sleep. FML
Today, while in a pharmacy, I walked over to the shaving cream aisle. I picked up a can to smell it and unknowingly pushed the button, spraying an old guy in front of me. He freaked out and started telling everyone that the ceiling above him was leaking. FML
Today, a cute girl sitting next to me asked if she could use my phone. As I handed it to her, I attempted to use the expression "knock yourself out," but for a reason I can still not fathom, it came out as "kill yourself." FML
Today, after a great first date, he leaned in to kiss me. I held my breath slightly. This resulted in me breathing out through my nose, blowing a huge snot bubble, which then burst on his face. He looked at me in horror and walked away. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had breakfast with his grandmother. She told him how I'm prettier than "that Mexican" he'd brought home for dinner last week. We had dinner with her last week, and I'm that same Mexican. She then went on to how Mexicans are what's wrong with the economy. FML
Today, I was sitting in on a boring presentation at work. I yawned and shifted in my chair, accidentally sitting on my testicles. I shrieked in pain and spent the next five minutes choking back tears, while my boss told me to shut my mouth and stop fucking around. FML
Today, I brought my 90-year-old grandfather into school for a project that required to bring in "a first-hand account" of the Great Depression. He started off by telling the class how in his day, they "threw rocks at black people." FML
Today, I started my brand new job. I was late because while repairing my favorite pair of high heels, I got superglue in my eye. They had to scrape my cornea and I have to wear an eye patch. I'm now the "new pirate" in the office. FML
Thursday 22 January 2015